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(Warning: Contains references to tabletop RPGs. You may be confused if you're not familiar with this game.)

Tonight, after reading this really excellent diary on the pathetically unhinged Dean Chambers, my housemate commented to me that it's at least nice that the poor man is doing something to keep his sanity. "After suffering the horrible shock of finding out that everything he thought he knew about the American voting public was completely wrong," he said, "he's rebounded and given his fellow Republicans a comforting rationalization to help them deal with the loss."

"Keeping his sanity?" I said, chuckling. "I don't think he had any sanity to begin with."

"Well," my housemate said, "maybe he's lost his sanity and come out the other side. Now he can gain sanity."

I said, "I--" And then it hit me. I don't even remember what I was going to say, because suddenly the phrase 'gain sanity' hit me like a thunderbolt as the mental link seared itself into my brain.

Republican Call of Cthulhu.

It'd be perfect--the only CoC campaign where SAN loss isn't a problem, because the Republicans don't have any sanity to begin with. Think about it--Rush Limbaugh explaining that Nyarlathotep doesn't actually exist at all, he's just a product of the MSM; Sean Hannity bloviating about how America is founded on Christian principles, and Dagon worship is nothing more than a fringe minority that doesn't represent the real America; Sarah Palin complaining about the treehuggers who claim that the logging industry has disturbed Shub-Niggurath, the Black Goat of the Woods With a Thousand Young; Bill O'Reilly doubting the scientific consensus that Azathoth sits in his dark throne at the center of the universe; and of course, at the end of the game, as Cthulhu himself rises from the slumbering depth, you get Karl Rove insisting that it's too early to call the fate of the world just yet, because he has internal polling showing that Cthulhu is weaker in Ohio than most people imagine.

If anyone actually wants to run this thing, go for it and let me know how it turns out!

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Comment Preferences

  •  Ha ha ha ha ha (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    tardis10, irishwitch, Dauphin

    I'm not into gaming, but I did enjoy a good Lovecraft read now & then, back in the day. Your diary is freaking hilarious!

    Handmade holiday gifts from Jan4insight on Zibbet. Get 10%off everytime with coupon code KOSSACK.

    by jan4insight on Tue Nov 20, 2012 at 07:45:15 PM PST

    •  PS: As I recall, Lovecraft always referred to it (6+ / 0-)

      as the Cult of Cthulhu - which makes it even more perfect for the GOP/TP ;)

      Handmade holiday gifts from Jan4insight on Zibbet. Get 10%off everytime with coupon code KOSSACK.

      by jan4insight on Tue Nov 20, 2012 at 07:47:27 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  HPL despised the Republicans (4+ / 0-)
        “As for the Republicans -- how can one regard seriously a frightened, greedy, nostalgic huddle of tradesmen and lucky idlers who shut their eyes to history and science, steel their emotions against decent human sympathy, cling to sordid and provincial ideals exalting sheer acquisitiveness and condoning artificial hardship for the non-materially-shrewd, dwell smugly and sentimentally in a distorted dream-cosmos of outmoded phrases and principles and attitudes based on the bygone agricultural-handicraft world, and revel in (consciously or unconsciously) mendacious assumptions (such as the notion that real liberty is synonymous with the single detail of unrestricted economic license or that a rational planning of resource-distribution would contravene some vague and mystical 'American heritage'...) utterly contrary to fact and without the slightest foundation in human experience? Intellectually, the Republican idea deserves the tolerance and respect one gives to the dead.”
         from a 1936 letter to fellow author C.L. Moore  

        HPL started out as a reactionary, but he changed  over time and became a big supporter of FDR and the New Deal.  

        "Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold...The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity" -W.B. Yeats

        by LucyandByron on Tue Nov 20, 2012 at 10:35:16 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

  •  I can't help but suspect the GOP would (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    deli lama, jan4insight

    run Cthulhu for president--so long as he vowed never to raise taxes.

    The last time we mixed religion and politics people got burned at the stake.

    by irishwitch on Tue Nov 20, 2012 at 08:10:46 PM PST

  •  Vote Cthulhu (8+ / 0-)

    when you're sick of voting for the lesser of two evils.

    Ever get the feeling you've been cheated?

    by ActivistGuy on Tue Nov 20, 2012 at 08:14:33 PM PST

  •  OMG... I love COC and will run this someday... (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    ssgbryan, deli lama, Lilith

    Don't give a Gamemaster ideas!

    I'm trying to calculate the Sanity loss for encountering a Republican nabob... Speaking as a Wisconsin public employee, Scott Walker would be about 1d10 and Paul Ryan about a 1d8... hm, better think about this...

    `Ideology offers human beings the illusion of dignity and morals while making it easier to part with them.'- Vaclav Havel

    by Black Brant on Tue Nov 20, 2012 at 08:16:24 PM PST

    •  it's been a while (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      but i loved that game-
      my gaming friends were more d & d and aftermath-
      but i loved call of cthulu!!
      but i guess i've always been a little..

      politics and economics are concerned with power and wealth, neither of which should be the primary, still less the exclusive, concern of full-grown men. -Arthur C. Clarke

      by deli lama on Tue Nov 20, 2012 at 10:14:33 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  And watching Faux, even for a few seconds is (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      2d10 .

      You have watched Faux News, now lose 2d10 SAN.

      by Throw The Bums Out on Wed Nov 21, 2012 at 06:34:45 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  If you would like to base your calculations on (0+ / 0-)

      what really goes on in their tiny little minds, I recommend the book When Prophecy Fails: A Social and Psychological Study of a Modern Group That Predicted the Destruction of the World, by Leon Festinger, Henry W. Riecken and Stanley Schachter. It laid out for the first time the phenomenon and the mechanisms of Cognitive Dissonance.

      The essential point is that sanity goes down and fervor goes up whenever the expected, desired, essential future is crushed by the factual present.

      In the case of Dean Chambers, I guess we have to go for Precognitive Dissonance. Can you work that into your game? Oh, and have you seen "At the Mountains of Murkiness", by Arthur C. Clarke?

      (My son runs various games here in Columbus, Indiana. He was explaining the evolving mechanisms around soul shards in one of his games to me yesterday. Your Druid meeting an angry bear in the woods might put it to sleep and walk away. Your Warlock automatically yanks its soul without thinking about it.)

      America—We built that!

      by Mokurai on Wed Nov 21, 2012 at 02:09:58 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  Reminds me of the (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:


    Part of which was captured as epic poem here:

    #ALEC Brand Legislation now with new whitening agents! Dont like the color of your electorate?Just add #VoterID! Now with more suppression! @FAKEALECPR

    by Bandaloop on Tue Nov 20, 2012 at 09:09:07 PM PST

  •  I had actually been considering... (4+ / 0-)

    ...running a Call of Cthulhu session at a Netroots Nation. Didn't have a plot completely thought through, but the title would have been:

    Nightmare on K Street.

    Trouble was, I couldn't see a way to keep it down to a single 4-6 hour session.

    Under SOPA, you could get 5 years for uploading a Michael Jackson song. That's one more year than the doctor who killed him.

    by Charles CurtisStanley on Tue Nov 20, 2012 at 10:09:43 PM PST

    •  CoC, meet WoW (0+ / 0-)

      Or Warhammer 40K, or whatever.

      The kleptocracies, the Death Cults, and their assorted Useless Idiots have been at it for hundreds, nay, thousands of years. Why would you want to limit your game to a single session? The whole point is to devour their souls and maintain them in endless torment. Not that one has to do anything to bring about that outcome. They are willing human sacrifices, having decided long ago that their humanity is of no use to them.

      OK. So why don't we send out a party under the name Lords of Karma, Inc. (LOKI) consisting of

      • a Vulture Capitalist who can suck a corporation to a husk in minutes
      • a Voodoo Economist with the power to cloud men's minds
      • a Spinning Doctor who claims to be healing you while draining your sanity (you read the meter wrong, obviously, and the GM lies)
      • a War-lock private military contractor
      • an already Mad Tea Partier
      • and a Zombie bank (Hey, just because it's dead doesn't mean it's not a person)

      Now play to rack up the short-term score but lose the whole game, just like the real banksters.

      America—We built that!

      by Mokurai on Wed Nov 21, 2012 at 02:31:18 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  Be're trading on this ice here... (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    deli lama, ConfusedSkyes, Lilith

    Remember that every serious CoC player has a story where he or his party actually won.

    If that happens, all the Elder Signs in the world can't save us...

    “Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.” - Hanlon's Razor

    by Mister Black on Tue Nov 20, 2012 at 10:50:10 PM PST

  •  *rolls 3xD20* = 29 and my magic horn of doom (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    blasts all repubs to dust

    the end


    i hope the dungeon master gives me good loot

  •  Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Gipper S'Ynez wgah'nagl fhtagn. (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Throw The Bums Out, Lilith
    •  NukhneH!? (0+ / 0-)
      The Klingon gods are dead. Ancient warriors killed them a millennium ago. They were more trouble than they were worth.
      Worf, ST:DS9, Homefront (unreliable narrator, it turns out. Or unreliable myth, which contradicts another essential myth, in which the first Klingon killed the Gods.)

      America—We built that!

      by Mokurai on Wed Nov 21, 2012 at 02:53:30 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

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