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Aren't we all?

I find it a sinister phrase; amorphous yet charged with fear and negativity. Also, it seems to apply to everyone. A perfect linguistic tool of oppression.

Who is on drugs? Well....

Oxygen is a drug. So every breathing person is on drugs.

Adrenaline is a drug. Every sprinting person is on drugs.

Dopamine is a drug. Every happy person is on drugs.

Melatonin is a drug. Every sleepy person is on drugs.

A cough drop is a drug. Every person getting a "pep-talk in every drop" is on drugs.

A topical analgesic is a drug. Every person using Neosporin Plus is on drugs.

Tryptophan is a drug. Any person who eats Thanksgiving turkey (or, I gather, almost any type of protein-rich food) is on drugs.

Sugar is a drug. Anybody eating pie is on drugs. That goes double for people eating cranberry sauce; because a cranberry is a drug.

Caffeine is a drug. Every person imbibing coffee, tea, or any other substance containing caffeine, is on drugs.

Chocolate is a drug. Every person having cocoa instead is on drugs.

Alcohol is a drug. Every person with a sip of booze on their tongue is on drugs. Not just drunk. On drugs. (hint: there's no f%&@ing difference)

So for the love of God, after Thanksgiving dinner, when everyone is on the porch "filling out the corners" and I'm rolling a joint to fire up and pass after my coffee, stop looking at me like I'm doing something evil.

You just added a two-second pour of brandy to your own mug, and then passed the bottle.

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