From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
And Now For Something Completely Different
In a break from our usual format, today we're treating you to our traditional C&J hymn---BiPM Opus 4.0. In observance of Thanksgiving, we've added a few new stanzas to the classic holiday piece, We Gather Together. (Click here and watch a dude play it on his magic organ) As the holiday unfolds, may your feast be bountiful, and your couch time plentiful.
One, two, three...
We gather together to count all our blessings;Happy Gobble Gobble, everyone. A few more goodies, including a Molly Ivins Thanksgiving bon mot, below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
The big ones, the small ones, the ones in between.
Today there's no stressing, now please pass the dressing,
For four and twenty hours, I'm an eating machine.
Before we start noshing let's fist-bump Obama!
He beat Mitt (that stiff twit) and won four more years.
The right wing is freaking, of secession they are speaking.
A lovely sight to see: Dave and Chuck Koch in tears.
I'm hoisting this sign to show love for our unions
We praise eight-hour days and the weekends they brung
Sometimes we must picket, tell bosses where to stick it
You're heroes one and all, and too often unsung.
Now quoting Ann Romney here: "I love you WOMEN!!!"
Ms. Heitkamp emerged champ, she's off to the Hill
With Mazie and Tammy and Liz (who beat Scott B)
The Senate's full 'o dames, and kick man-butt they will.
And here is a wish from the LGBTers
Pass ENDA, nix DOMA and let us wed, too!
We just want the same rights, so let's stop these dumb fights
Please trust us when we say: we're as screwed up as you!
And let's take some pity on all the poor ice caps
I'm thinking they're shrinking and that means we'll fry.
Our planet's an oven, it needs big-time lovin'
If we don’t act and fast, we can kiss this orb "Bye!"
And here's an idea: let's help out the jobless.
Stop firing, start hiring and pay decent bucks.
We need roads and bridges, in oodles not smidges,
It's great to work because the alternative sucks.
And how 'bout a scritchy or two for our pooties
They're fuzzy, they're wuzzy, they're wily and sleek
Their claws---ow!---are scratching! Their teeth---gah!---are gnashing!
Okay, no bath today. We can do it next week.
And please pass a drumstick to whiz kid Nate Silver
He crunched and he munched on the polls like fresh scones
Rasmussen's were bullshit, Peg Noonan's gut said "Mitt!!!"
Sir Nate tore them to shreds, leaving nothing but bones.
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, November 22, 2012
Note: An abbreviated (three sentences and a dipthong) west coast-friendly edition of Cheers and Jeers will appear tomorrow. We'll be off Monday due to our time-honored tradition of slacking. We'll return on Tuesday for the final sprint to 2013. Bring comfortable rocket shoes.
By the Numbers:
Days 'til the Lighting of the National Chanukah Menorah with the United States Navy Band and Dreidleman: 17
Days 'til the Lighting of the National Christmas Tree with James Taylor: 14
Date of Lincoln's Thanksgiving proclamation: 10/3/1863
Increase in the cost of a turkey dinner with all the trimmings from last year: 0.6%
Minimum number of presidents who have called the Butterball hotline: 1
(Source: The West Wing)
Number of NFL games today: 3
Population of Turkey, Texas: 494
Your Turkey Day Molly Ivins Moment:
There's music in poor bleeding New Orleans again, Ted Koppel and his hair put in a commendable 25 years, some terrific new films are out, my puppy has not eaten a shoe for an entire month now, and the Mountain West is moving from red to purple.-
So let's all loosen our belts and get right down to the all-American tradition of overeating on Thanksgiving. It's still a great country, even if it is a little strange. I am grateful for all my fellow citizens---how would we know it was America if we didn't hear regularly from the nincompoop faction? Happy turkey to you all.
Puppy Pic of the Day: Hey, it's a holiday---Slow it down.
Things For Which I Am Thankful: 2012 Edition
The first and middle name of our 44th president is Barack Hussein and not Willard MittAnd, as ever, that magic moment at 6am when the Bacardi 151 crosses the blood-brain barrier.
Joe Biden is our vice president and Paul Ryan is not
Michelle Obama---four more years!
Our soldiers over here and over there, including the ones who can finally be their openly-gay selves without getting kicked out
The Occupy movement, for continuing to fight income equality as they lead the way on Superstorm Sandy relief
Bill McKibben and the Keystone XL Pipeline protesters
Bill and Hillary You-Know-Who
That Elizabeth Warren is now U.S. Senator-elect…and a Kossack
The rest of the freshman Senate class: Tim Kaine (VA), Tammy Baldwin (WI), Martin Heinrich (NM), Mazie Horono (HI), Joe Donnelly (IN), Heidi Heitkamp (ND), Chris Murphy (CT).
Relected Senators Sherrod Brown (OH), Bernie Sanders (VT), Kirsten Gillibrand (NY), Bob Casey (PA), Dianne Feinstein (CA), Amy Klobuchar (MN), Tom Carper (DE), Maria Cantwell (WA), Ben Cardin (MD), Claire Mccaskill (MO), Jon Tester (MT), Debbie Stabenow (MI), Sheldon Whitehouse (RI), Bob Menendez (NJ), Bill Nelson (FL), and….oh, god, if I must…Joe Manchin (WV).
Olympia Snowe's smart, progressive replacement, Angus King (I-ME)
The Congressional Progressive Caucus
That Blue Dog Democrats are a rapidly-vanishing breed
Alan Grayson's victory…Allen West's loss
Barney Frank's amazing tenure in the House…and his promise to stay in the spotlight after January
Marriage equality in Washington, Maine and Maryland
New pro-pot laws in Colorado, Washington and Massachusetts
Voters who stand in line for however long it takes
Judges who strike down Republican voter suppression efforts
Republicans who hand elections to Democrats by saying what they really think
Campaign volunteers and polling place workers
That delicious moment on November 6th when the Republicans' fantasy world collided with the real one
James Carter IV and David Corn, who released the Romney "47 percent" tape
Maddow, Schultz, O'Donnell, Rev. Al, Stewart, Colbert, Maher
Chris Hayes, Ezra Klein, Melissa Harris-Perry, Soledad O'Brien
Olbermann's twitter account
E.J. Dionne, Eugene Robinson, Frank Rich, Bob Herbert, Paul Begala
Naomi Klein, Glenn Greenwald, Robert Greenwald, Eleanor Clift
Atrios, Digby, Americablog, Pam Spaulding, John Cole, Dan Savage
Think Progress, Media Matters
The ghosts of Molly Ivins and Ted Kennedy
Krugman! Krugman! Krugman!
Dean! Dean! Dean!
White House photographer Pete Souza
New York photographer and Kossack Eddie C
David Plouffe, David Axelrod, Jim Messina, Stephanie Cutter, and the rest of Team Obama
The Republican comedy show: cheesy grits, empty chairs, 47 percent moocher tape, "Big gifts," binders full of women, Big Bird, teaching the crowd how to chant "Romney-Ryan," washing clean dishes, poll unskewing, Peggy Noonan's gut feelings, Fehrnstrom "Etch-A-Sketch" moment, Rush "slut" moment, Mourdock "God's will" moment, Todd Akin "legitimate rape" moment, disaster in Britain, Jack Welch tweets, etc. etc. (But not thankful about the part where they made me pee my pants from laughing.)
The rest of the world, for kinda sorta liking us again
That the mole people under the house have a live and let live attitude
Extraterrestrials. Unless they plan to eat us.
My partner, Michael, for growing old with me
All of my bosses at Daily Kos
The front-pagers and diarists here, for explaining stuff I don't know boo about
The rest of the progressive blogosphere, for having the wisdom to follow all the orders issued by Kingmaker Markos
Netroots Nation and its organizers
Netroots for the Troops
Dirty Fucking Hippies
Righty blogs, an endless source of unintentional humor (bless their hearts)
Cereal that gives me 800% of my daily fiber needs in one bowl
High-speed rail…and high speed rail trains
Peace. (Yeah, it's a real word. I looked it up.)
How 'bout you?