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A NSFW family Thanksgiving scene from Home for the Holidays.
We're supposed to, well, give thanks on Thanksgiving, and maybe we do. But that doesn't mean the holiday doesn't come with its own set of frustrations.

After all, many of us go and spend this day for giving thanks with people who we wouldn't necessarily choose to spend time with, and certainly not under the stressful circumstances of "this is a holiday and you will enjoy it, dammit" and "let's get five times as many people as usual into this house and then cook a meal much bigger than any of us cook on a regular basis." They might be your family who you love, but for real? When you're dodging each other fighting for the last burner and nearly getting stabbed when someone turns from the counter to the sink too quickly? Tempers will flare a little.

Then you have your election year Thanksgiving. If you're reading Daily Kos, chances are you're feeling pretty good about that, but maybe there's someone across the table who wants to tell you their angry conspiracy theories—or someone you love who's heartbroken by exactly the results that make you so happy.

Or was your Thanksgiving cut short or cancelled by someone you wanted to celebrate with having to work early on Black Friday, or even on Thanksgiving itself? (Assuming that if you yourself are working those hours, you're not reading this post.)

So what are your frustrations tonight?  What, despite your immense gratitude for all the good things in your life, just drove you up a wall today?  Was it your conservative relatives?  The lumpy gravy?  The football on the television while you were trying to have quality family time?

None of these things have to mean that you aren't thankful for all the good things in your life, but having things to be thankful for doesn't obliterate the pressure-cooker irritations of the holidays. Surely there's something—let it fly.

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Comment Preferences

  •  I got a lot of problems with you people! (51+ / 0-)

    Wrong holiday, folks.  Airing of Grievances isn't for another month!

    That said, Our family all love each other, and we're varying degrees of Liberal-ish.

    "Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." --M. L. King "You can't fix stupid" --Ron White -6.00, -5.18

    by zenbassoon on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 07:04:12 PM PST

    •  Likewise: my family are all on the Left (23+ / 0-)

      ranging from pro-Occupy to basic Progressive Democrats. We talked about being grateful for the ceasefire in Israel, and we had a nice dinner -- I cooked most of it, but started last night.

      No complaints here.

      I only have one Republican relative, and one by marriage, so politics are never tense as a conversation topic, more or less.

      And we don't watch sports. So...

    •  I had the best Thanksgiving ever (24+ / 0-)

      Fabulous Democratic friends, a house full of cats, perfect weather, excellent meal,  champagne, and a surplus of liberal gloating, high fiving, and fist bumping.  

      The secret to the perfect Thanksgiving is a select gathering of six -- all friends and spouses of the liberal persuasion.  We call ourselves family of choice and fly in from various places.  We contribute our culinary specialties and plan well so we don't crowd the kitchen.  We all avoid conservative relatives, esp. in an election year like this one.  And then we drink a lot of really good wine and bubbly.  I won't lie -- the ENTIRE conversation over dinner was politics... and we loved every moment of it.

      Here's our list of things we're thankful for on this Thanksgiving:

      1. A re-elected President Obama
      2. Best VP ever
      3. Most women in the Senate ever
      4. The slide of Teabaggers, Rush,  Grover Nordquist, McCain and the neocons into  disrepute
      5 Obamacare, the Lily Ledbetter Act, Dodd-Frank, and all the "right direction" legislation from 2008-2010
      6. Mitt Romney's slide towards 47% in the popular vote
      7. Progressive victories on ballot initiatives across the country
      8. Winning the war on women
      9. SCIENCE and MATH, Nate Silver, Sam Wang,  and all the other nerds and geeks everywhere
      10. Grassroots, Netroots, and all the voters who stayed in line for up to 8 hours to ensure victory on Nov 6.

      We freaking WON. We crushed them.  WHOOOO HOOOO!!

      I vote Democratic because I am a woman with self-respect , who rejects bigotry of all kinds, subscribes to science, believes in universal health care, embraces unions, and endorses smart internationalist foreign policy. Twitter: @HawaiiDelilah

      by Delilah on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 08:24:11 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  Never had a problem. Don't even know what (7+ / 0-)

      some of my family's political leanings are. Politics just never come up - lots more family stuff to talk about.

      We've been getting together for Thanksgiving since I was a wee one reluctantly sitting at the kiddie table.

      It's my father's side of the family. First my aunt or mother did the dinners and now it's been passed on to my cousins and in one case, my cousin's daughter. Generations keeping the tradition.

      Lot's of food, laughs and watching the grandkids grow up. On just got married!

      Now that I live 1500 miles away, I can only join them occasionally, but I try to participate by sending something. This year it was an unbelievable lighter than air hazelnut cake enrobed in cream and chocolate shavings from a wonderful bakery in Philly (Swiss Bakery, in center city, if anyone is interested.)

      This year I went out to dinner with friends. All are on the same political page. One lives in both Canada and the US - is now US citizen). Only once did politics pop up and since we all agreed, there was nothing to really discuss!

      Warm holiday greetings to all in the orange community (a bit late in the day, but still well meant).

      It’s the Supreme Court, stupid! Followed by: It's always the Supreme Court! Progressives will win only when we convince a majority that they, too, are Progressive.

      by auapplemac on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 08:59:26 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  What drove me nuts? Tony Romo (16+ / 0-)

    My opponent is starting him in fantasy football (and I'm on the cusp of elimination from playoff contention). At the end of the first half Romo had a mere 6 pts a deliciously low score. Then the Redskins DEF forgot to play in the second half and Romo ended up with a monstrous 59 pts. Ouch.

    I also want to know why Kid Rock come out dressed as a baked potato at the Detroit halftime show.

    PS I love my friends and family, they rock.

    Teh stoopidTM, it hurts. Buy smart, union-printed, USA-made, signs, stickers, swag for everyone: Get your We are the 99% Yard Sign.

    by DemSign on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 07:04:44 PM PST

  •  Pictionary. (15+ / 0-)

    That was the plan between the main meal and pie, but I really wasn't in the mood.

    On the other hand, I liked everyone there and there were zero (0.00) Republicans to contend with.

    "This is NOT what I thought i'd be when i grew up."

    by itzik shpitzik on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 07:07:20 PM PST

  •  The unplanned drop-in by the neighbors... (30+ / 0-)

    ...with their dog.  The 4 month old puppy.  

    Don't get me wrong, these are good neighbors as far as neighbors go.  They do for us the things we all hope neighbors will do in times of need.  Rides to the car repair place or the airport, dog sitting, mail-gathering, etc.  And -- bonus -- a nearly unlimited supply of homegrown tomatoes.  All good.

    Still, Neighbor Dad is pretty much a FOX News kind of guy, and it was only a few minutes into the visit (but already his second beer) that we got to hear that unions killed Twinkies and HoHos.  The slightly bigoted commentary (who uses "ebonics" as a term anyway?).  For once I thought I would get all the way through Thanksgiving winger-free.  I was wrong.

    Still, those tomatoes are pretty damn good.

    dissent not only welcome... but encouraged

    by newfie53523 on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 07:14:29 PM PST

    •  Wow I have had some neighbors over the years (5+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      emeraldmaiden, JeffW, Delilah, DvCM, Julia Grey

      that were nice, some drove us nuts, but none ever just dropped in. Now with my parents, their neighbors always just dropped in.   But , mostly everyone know , we hae to invite them over.  I have to admit, we are not all that happy with the pop in type of people in this day and age where they can text, email or call first.  But I realize that is probably just my thing as my parents and sister would get pop ins all of the time.

      Follow PA Keystone Liberals on Twitter: @KeystoneLibs

      by wishingwell on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 08:06:27 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  Neighbors dropping in on Thanksgiving (3+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        rainmanjr, DvCM, Julia Grey

        Okay, I've got a weird T-day story about that from 3 years ago.  I'm still a bit miffed about it.

        My family is from the East Coast and I moved to California, and yes, I admit I moved to get some distance between us.  I can handle seeing them once or twice a year, but not constantly, and believe me, if I lived there it would be constant.  These people have zero sense of boundaries.

        Now, I usually don't visit for Thanksgiving, but my dad was struggling with lung cancer issues, and this was clearly the last Thanksgiving he'd have.  So I flew out minus the husband and kids, and my sister-in-law and my brother really wanted him to spend the meal at their house.  They said they wouldn't invite the usual 40-60 people if he'd agree to join them.  So he very reluctantly agreed, as he really didn't want people to see how downhill he'd gone, plus, being around more people was likely to get him even sicker.

        So we sit down for our meal around 3:30 or so, and as we're finishing the soup, the doorbell rings.  And it's the neighbors.  With their mom.  And, given everything I've just told you, wouldn't you expect that my brother and SIL would tell them nice to see you, we're eating, we'll come by later?  Noooooooo.  They invite them all in, and now we've all gotten up out of our seats, including my going-to-die-in-two-months-from-cancer dad.  

        And they then proceed to talk to us in the fvcking hallway for 20 minutes.  They're in no hurry to leave, and neither bro nor sis will encourage them to return to their walk.  The dining room is right off the front hallway, so they can see there is food on the table and that we had sat down.  So I'm still trying to figure out who was ruder here, them for not leaving right away when they saw we had started dinner, or bro/sis for not encouraging them out when they had promised my dad a quiet thanksgiving without all those extra people.

        I really think the both of them use friends and neighbors as buffers so they don't have to have any kind of intimate conversations, because every time I've visited there has always been somebody over there, and literally as soon as one leaves, another arrives.  Phone is constantly ringing too.  Given that they've never encouraged any of these people to leave so they can spend some quiet time with visiting family, I assume that's the way they want it, but that time at Thanksgiving?  That was weird.  And rude.

        •  Yes, I know people like that, you cannot visit (2+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          DvCM, madhaus

          them or fly across country to see them without all their neighbors and friends popping in all of the time.

          When my Mom was going through chemo, neighbors would just walk right in and one time, they almost walked in on me undressing as it was just Mom, me and my husband visiting and I was trying on some clothes that Mom could no longer wear.  So we had the hall door and bedroom doors open.  Mom then decided to lock her doors because I told her it was ridiculous her neighbors were just strolling in the house without knocking and walking through her house anytime of the day and night.

          Follow PA Keystone Liberals on Twitter: @KeystoneLibs

          by wishingwell on Fri Nov 23, 2012 at 06:16:31 AM PST

          [ Parent ]

          •  I told Mom since they all had a key to check on (2+ / 0-)
            Recommended by:
            DvCM, madhaus

            her, they could ring the doorbell and if no answer, use their key. But seeing a car in the driveway that was ours and not just hers, they knew she had family there for the holiday. And they just walked in and stayed.

            Follow PA Keystone Liberals on Twitter: @KeystoneLibs

            by wishingwell on Fri Nov 23, 2012 at 06:17:42 AM PST

            [ Parent ]

      •  My dad never went anywhere without calling. (2+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        DvCM, wishingwell

        He considered just popping in rude even in the 70's

        •  Sane with my parents when for about a year, (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:

          I rented an apartment less than 10 miles from them. But they always called me and never popped in at my house or anywhere else for that matter. So that is how I was raised but then my parents though had an open door policy so they got the pop ins but never did it to others.

          Follow PA Keystone Liberals on Twitter: @KeystoneLibs

          by wishingwell on Fri Nov 23, 2012 at 06:14:04 AM PST

          [ Parent ]

        •  We had a friend call. We said, "No." (2+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          DvCM, Julia Grey

          Long story, but the essence is she turned down every scenario from her family to hold Thanksgiving herself, insisting she wanted her 9-months-preggo daughter to do it -- not happening, as you'd expect.

          Guess her plans to have turkey with her fellow condo-dwellers "fell through." If she'd called a couple of days or weeks before, we would have happily accommodated her. You don't invite yourself to Thanksgiving on Thanksgiving Day -- period.

          "If you're going to go down with the ship, make it a submarine." - Wayne Shorter

          by Oliver Tiger on Fri Nov 23, 2012 at 06:18:37 AM PST

          [ Parent ]

  •  we should give thanks every day (18+ / 0-)

    and avoid conflict, and be with people we love, and eat want we want to.  ;-)

    i didn't have my kids this year.  doctor who marathon.  

    and the attack on unions & middle class, evidenced in this black friday insanity, is so wrong.  

    Ted Kennedy: “The work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives, and the dream shall never die…”

    by jlms qkw on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 07:14:38 PM PST

  •  Love, love, love Home for the Holidays! (20+ / 0-)

    So many people don't get that movie. What the hell kind of families do they have?

    What's bugging me now? Not family. We live 6 hours away from everyone we're related to, and it's mostly a good thing.

    I'm just irked that I caught my daughter's cold. But TG was just fine. My house is nice and quiet now. The food was good, and we have a glorious new dog! She's really our daughter's dog, and one day, our daughter will move out and take the dog with her. I've accepted that. But for now, she's a great dog, a beautiful collie, just a year old or so, that I found at the humane association. Such a cuddly, lovey-dovey sweet thing.

    Life is pretty good.

    Confession time: When I'm not ranting about politics, I write romance novels

    by teresahill on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 07:15:09 PM PST

    •  Right? I love that movie. (5+ / 0-)

      I was so glad that clip was on youtube for this post.

      •  Charles Durning has been one of my favorite (4+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        JeffW, MNGlasnant, mofembot, DvCM

        actors ever since I first saw him portray the Texas governor in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas.  He can make me laugh out loud (like in Whorehouse and Home for the Holidays), or cry like a baby (like his guest appearance in that NCIS episode).

        The only thing that really threatened to ruin my Thanksgiving happened a couple hours before the meal when a friend and I took cookies and lemonade to the local Walmart for the picketers.  We were there about a half-hour listening to the picketers' stories, which were all horrifying, depressing or infuriating - or all three.  But the trip turned uplifting to see how grateful these people were for the attention we gave them, the willing ear to hear their stories, and of course the treats.  Bless these workers and fie on the Walton family for being such self-righteous, greedy bastards.  

        "In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican." - H. L. Mencken

        by SueDe on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 08:19:29 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

      •  I love Aunt Gladdy and her lamps. Love (0+ / 0-)

        when Dylan McDermott shows up on the plane with the lamp, and when Robert Downey Jr. dances with his mom and attacks the car the uptight sister is in.

        Confession time: When I'm not ranting about politics, I write romance novels

        by teresahill on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 11:04:43 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

  •  I was alone today (which was fine), but my LDS (34+ / 0-)

    neighbor up the hill had about a zillion people over. AND, as it is wont to do when used heavily, their septic tank is leaking down the street and now I'm pretty pissed (again).

    I started taking dated photos today, and after the first of the year I should have enough of them to send to this family and inform them they get 90 days to fix it before I call the health department and oh, BTW, clean the road below your lot where all the rock and dirt falls onto so I, at 59, don't have to clean up after you.

    And no, they aren't blind or don't know. THEY KNOW. They just don't give a damn about anyone but themselves. GRRRR.

    202-224-3121 to Congress in D.C. USE it! You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage them. "We're not perfect, but they're nuts."--Barney Frank 01/02/2012

    by cany on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 07:17:51 PM PST

  •  It was a really nice occasion (17+ / 0-)

    My son, who used to be a chef, did most of the cooking.  I just set the table and helped tidy up the house.  My future daughter-in-law brought a beautiful flower arrangement that she'd made herself.  Her parents flew down from NY this morning to join us, and my niece the punk rocker/bartender joined us, so we were ten at table.

    It was a lovely meal and the dog behaved himself quite well (for a beagle).  I just wish my nephew had seen fit to join us for Thanksgiving.  He'll be in Ireland, visiting his father, for Christmas.  We missed him tonight.

    "Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich."--Napoleon

    by Diana in NoVa on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 07:18:48 PM PST

    •  You are so fortunate, our son is not into holidays (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      JeffW, Delilah, Diana in NoVa

      or visiting family and he is getting close to his mid 3os so it is no longer a stage. He just wants to be free of all commitments except his job. He just prefers to be with his coworkers socially and has decided against family events.   He just likes a lot of of space and no commitments and no family until he has a family of his own, then that that might change.  

      So you are very fortunate, indeed.  Our son used to bring girlfriends here and spend holidays with us when he was in his 20s and those are great memories.

      Follow PA Keystone Liberals on Twitter: @KeystoneLibs

      by wishingwell on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 08:12:47 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  Let's hope that one day he will realize that (0+ / 0-)

        (1) this is the only life we will ever have, and (2)  there is nothing more important than one's family.  To know that there is someone in this world that shares your blood, your memories, your ancestry--that is a supreme gift.

        I love my nuclear family and my extended family, even the Republicans!  They're still my own blood kin and that is very important to me.

        "Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich."--Napoleon

        by Diana in NoVa on Fri Nov 23, 2012 at 06:48:34 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

  •  No real problems except (10+ / 0-)

    just coping with the aftereffects of all that food!

    "No special skill, no standard attitude, no technology, and no organization - no matter how valuable - can safely replace thought itself."

    by xaxnar on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 07:20:22 PM PST

  •  My one frustration: (12+ / 0-)

    No leftovers. (We were at my sister's.)

    Oh, and no one brought green bean casserole -- vegetables were spinach (which I hate) and peas with pearl onions (at least I could avoid the onions when dishing out the peas). I'll have to get some premade GBC at the grocery tomorrow; I already bought some honey ham, and we're going to heat that up tomorrow with spiced apples and cheddar broccoli rice.

    Other than that, pleasant day; one nephew was missing (at his in-laws for the weekend) but my other nephew brought a date, as did my oldest great-niece. It's always good to catch up with family, and while we do have some Republicans they're not really of the wingnut conspiracy theory variety so are relatively sane (or what passes for sanity in my clan).

    "If we ever needed to vote we sure do need to vote now" -- Rev. William Barber, NAACP

    by Cali Scribe on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 07:22:00 PM PST

  •  The sad, sad commercials to get you to buy crap (21+ / 0-)

    Because that is what our culture has been reduced to - the only way to show people that they're meaningful to you is to buy them something hideously expensive. And if you don't gift them with at least a car, a big screen TV, or the latest smartphone, you're a horrible person unworthy of being loved.

    Sorry, Corporate America, I refuse to participate. It's much calmer and simpler here in Fordistan.

    "And the Tea Party shall be maimed forever, becoming a mere spirit of malice that gnaws itself in the shadows, but can never grow or take shape again. And so a great evil of this world will be removed." - Gandalf

    by Fordmandalay on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 07:23:36 PM PST

  •  I don't want to talk about the hours between (13+ / 0-)

    6am - 3pm but the rest of the day has been quiet.  

    I didn't get to spend the day with any of my family or friends but did get to talk with them all.  

    Work pays the bills but sucks the soul.

    "I came for the politics and stayed for the community" - h/t the fabulous earicicle

    by shortgirl on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 07:23:44 PM PST

  •  cassoulet (16+ / 0-)

    I made a cassoulet (more or less from this recipe), including the duck confit, which I started last Sunday. Acorn squash and focaccia to round it out.

    My wife's disabled and can't travel well . . . so while we all live within 400 miles of one another, none of the family got together. Mixed feelings about that.

    In our family, Passover was always the big night of chaos. Thanksgivings always seemed to go well.

    You can never go home again, but I guess you can shop there.

    by Hobbitfoot on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 07:24:28 PM PST

  •  Last year on Christmas my dad went to (13+ / 0-)

    the only store that was open, a local convinience store where you can get things like ice.  He mentioned to the clerk how sucky it was that they had to work on Christmas.  She said she just wished they would give her more hours, she's only gotten 4.

    I'm hoping she was getting Overtime/Holiday pay.  But it sucks that she was derperate enough for money that she was happy to give up that time with her family.

    "If you defeat a thousand opponents, you still have a thousand opponents. If you change a thousand minds, you have a thousand allies"

    by Donkey Hotey on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 07:25:06 PM PST

  •  Since my grandmother and mother... (11+ / 0-)

    ...died in 2005, my side of the family has drifted apart. And with my mother-in-law's strokes last year, and subsequent full-blown dementia, Calamity Jean's family has had to scale back celebrations. We're getting together tomorrow with her brother, sister-in-law, and father.

    Of course, the portions are smaller, and we're getting several meals out of tonight's chicken dinner. And I'm not overeating (drat!).

    Float like a manhole cover, sting like a sash weight! Clean Coal Is A Clinker!

    by JeffW on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 07:25:08 PM PST

    •  Jeff I can relate, same thing happened in our (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      JeffW, royce, mofembot

      family.  My mom came from a big family but once she died, they forgot she ever had children. Thankfully my sister and I are very close but we live far away from each other. So we spend one month per year together in the summer as she is a teacher. We look forward to when she retires in a few years and moves back to PA.

      But the rest of the family had all drifted apart and we get no invitations from aunts, uncles, cousins.  

      It is mostly my sister and I and my husband who are close and someday she will be back here with us for holidays.   As she wants to retire near me as she feels this too with the death of our parents, she says I am all she has family wise.

      Follow PA Keystone Liberals on Twitter: @KeystoneLibs

      by wishingwell on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 08:18:56 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  Oooh, I had green bean casserole2/ fried onions. (9+ / 0-)

    it was pretty good, never had it before, my family goes in for frozen corn and steamed veggies.
    What drove me nuts, a woman in my bujilding, we're in the computer room together just before i left for the soup kitchen, she leaves, later at the dinner, she walks right by me and later stops at my table to talk to someone her boyfriend knows. didn't even acknowledge me or say hi. the women of this building only talk to me when they want something from me. just like my family. thanks for the clip, i love that movie.

    "Let us never forget that doing the impossible is the history of this nation....It's how we are as Americans...It's how this country was built"- Michelle Obama

    by blueoregon on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 07:26:30 PM PST

  •  The BLACKOUT while we were cooking (17+ / 0-)

    all we wanted, as zone A nyers, was a leetle Normalcy..  we tried our best but the never ending drown of ginormous dehumidifiers endless drying out every single structure within 10 miles gets to be a bit much... even so we cooked a quiet small meal but right in the middle of cooking it the generators that are supplying lights and water to our building shut down and ALL the power just went out (again)

    Stoic hubby just continued as if nothing happened, happily basting the bird (in the dark)  but I got a little disheartened...  HAPPY ENDING though... this time the black out only lasted a little over an hour and the turkey was delish.

    ah well, thats Life in the aftermath warzone and we are so much more fortunate then many... who were left with nothing - that I feel petty complaining about a blackout.


    "You've got to be an optimist to be a Democrat, and a humorist to stay one" - Will Rogers

    by KnotIookin on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 07:27:41 PM PST

  •  Nope, no complaints here. (14+ / 0-)

    The relative who posted disparaging remarks about the Hostess strikers a few days ago on facebook kept his political opinions to himself today even when the subject came up, my semi-driving ADHD brother-in-law whose non-stop ranting can drive me up a wall stayed off the second amendment and devoted all his diatribes to the maltreatment of unions and the greed of the oligarchs, there wasn't a good-recipe-gone-bad on the menu, and there wasn't a single dish on the table my cardiologist would have approved of.  It's all good, today.

    We can have democracy in this country, or we can have great wealth concentrated in the hands of a few, but we can't have both. - Justice Louis D. Brandeis

    by dsteffen on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 07:29:00 PM PST

  •  A lot of self-righteous... (14+ / 0-)

    ...pompous pronouncements about genocide, war, rampant capitalism on the Facebook wall, and how wrong it is to celebrate Thanksgiving in light of it.

    I'm very aware of all these things, and I like to think fight for peace and justice every day. I'm THANKFUL that I am aware of these injustices, that I do not turn a blind eye toward them, that I fight to make things better. I'm THANKFUL that so many of my friends, in person and on-line, are also politically passionate and active. And I'm THANKFUL for all the many good things and people in my life that enable me to have the means and the energy and the support to act politically.

    You don't have to deny yourself or anyone else a day to reflect on your gratitude, to reflect on how to go forward with even more dedication, integrity, passion and understanding.

    Life does not stop because injustice exists.

    "The people have only as much liberty as they have the intelligence to want & the courage to take." - Emma Goldman

    by DebtorsPrison on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 07:29:42 PM PST

    •  here's an excellent article (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      DebtorsPrison, newfie53523 touched my heart...yes...this citizen celebrated the day like most others, as well, gorging on some great food...but this particular article also helped give me a more rounded feeling about Thanksgiving, including the objective reality of its historical origins and the current scars left by those historic origins that are present in the hearts of many of my fellow Americans this day, as well:

  •  Well here I am in Middle Georgia (14+ / 0-)

    Where my Prius amongst all the pickup trucks, SUVs and other assorted Climate Change denying vehicles has  proud OBAMA BIDEN sticker. Of course the God is on our side relatives start in on the self righteousness.
    The best was 93 year old Aunt Looney Tunes who said "more white folks will get more dogs and the NIGRAS will have more babies under Obama so they can take over."

    God to make it all worse my father in law plays Fox News 24/7 and all I can do is drink heavily. I live in TN and think ts crazy... And it is ... But these folks down here hate our President and really hate the " NIGRAS "

    Neil Young is right. Ain't nothing gonna change down here. God. The South is so fucked up.

    All I want is the truth. Just gimmie some truth John Lennon

    by gimmie truth on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 07:31:54 PM PST

    •  Oh my, sounds rough , I give you credit, maybe (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      because I am getting older and then I had to disclose my parents are deceased and many relatives I was close to, also gone..but I simply no longer lack the patience to put up with the racists, bigots, family or not and I let them know my limits and boundaries.

      Follow PA Keystone Liberals on Twitter: @KeystoneLibs

      by wishingwell on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 08:25:34 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  what part of my GA as my sister lives in a very (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      diverse, very blue part of suburban Atlanta....of course, this is the Atlanta region vs some other regions of GA too but her students at her school adore the President as do most of the teachers and parents.

      Follow PA Keystone Liberals on Twitter: @KeystoneLibs

      by wishingwell on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 08:27:12 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  losing interest in the thanksgiving menu (9+ / 0-)

    it's a lotta work to make a lotta food when it's something you don't really like.

    now we have turkey for a week ....

    i did get a nap today, that was good, & some nice time w/ the kids.

    An ambulance can only go so fast - Neil Young

    by mightymouse on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 07:33:29 PM PST

  •  I was in the supermarket yesterday-the wealth of (17+ / 0-)

    the earth was there: tropical fruits, meats of all kinds, anything one could desire.  

    And you know--it was scary.  

    I, even with my moderate income, can have most anything I want to eat.  That would be great if it were true for all others on the planet.

    Often I feel that I am living in something very similar to
    "The Last Days of Pompeii"

    Save the Home Planet

    by Mayfly on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 07:34:44 PM PST

  •  The woman sitting across the table (13+ / 0-)

    from me at a friend's home ranted and raved about the horrors of Obama care at our last Thanksgiving encounter 2 years ago.  She and my husband argued for quite a while.  But this year, she talked about everything else but politics, so my trepidation turned out to be a false alarm.  I guess the difference was that the election is behind us.  And maybe her husband told her to STFU, just as I told mine the same thing before leaving to go to dinner.

    We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?

    by Bendra on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 07:38:49 PM PST

  •  Well....we had foot and ankle issues (10+ / 0-)

    We're hosting our second thanksgiving ever and a couple weeks beforehand I get a repetitive stress injury in my ankle, causing me to hobble around with a cane.

    Then the weekend before, my wife falls off a stool and breaks her foot in a way that caused all the doctors and techs looking at the x-rays to shake their heads in wonder, then schedule surgery to put in a plate and screws.

    So we're hosting thanksgiving with my wife required to have her foot elevated 45 minutes out of every 60, and me hobbling around in low grade pain trying to cover for both of us.  To make things worse, I overdid it wed, and had stabbing pains in my ankle that I hadn't felt since I started treating it.

    So we were a little annoyed at fate.

    But then people stepped up.  One allowed me to work the short week by handling all of my wife's appointments (driving, being there with her) plus getting wheelchair rentals and such.  My boss and co-workers were very supportive of me working from home to help my wife on Wed.  One of our guests volunteered to pretty much be a kitchen slave for us, and it turned out we worked very well together in the kitchen (each of us was good at stuff the other didn't like doing).

    So...all the stuff came out at the right time, and even though some of the recipes were experimental, they all came out extremely well.

    Even their kid was well behaved and seemed to be having a good time with all the adults.

    So I'm facing a monstrous cleanup task, and my ankle is throbbing, my wife is crashed out in her bed after being social from the couch with her foot up for hours (she's got fibro in addition to the injury so she was having a very good day to manage that at all)

    But I feel pretty good after all.  Even knowing how much work I still have to do to recover from hosting Thanksgiving.   It all worked out anyway, we got to pay another small installment from 40+ years of  not having to do anything at thanksgiving but show up and we have a fridge full of really tasty leftovers even after our best attempts to foist things on the guests as they left.

    Sheesh, after this one, any future Thanksgiving should be a piece of cake.

    And on another note about fate...the way my wife fell, it could easily have been her head smashed instead of her foot.  Or a back injury.  So...we can be annoyed the accident happened at all, but we're pretty thankful that she got off with only a broken foot (at a time where we have the good health insurance for the surgery and rehab)

    And we have good friends, who really came through when we needed them.

  •  GOTG (14+ / 0-)

    Get Out The Gloat

    I'm in rural Illinois for the holiday and pleasantly surprised how blue-minded the people are around me. And not much resentment.

    I'll say one thing, The Obama voters left their yard signs up, but the Ryan-Romney folks put theirs out with the trash.

    skipping over damaged area

    by Says Who on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 07:39:59 PM PST

  •  Fucking Thank You, (6+ / 0-)

    There is a lot I am not thankful for right now. I am seeking my righteous rage.

    You can trust me to be objective, I've been attacked by both sides.

    by Marcellus Shale on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 07:40:52 PM PST

  •  Not safe for work (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    nellgwen, wishingwell, D minor

    but safe for my family.  We decided today we need to start a swear jar for every time we say certain words in front of the baby - it will go to her college fund!

  •  Only thing to complain about was having to leave (5+ / 0-)

    too soon! I have to work the next three day shifts, so had to leave Des Moines mid-afternoon. Had a great family reunion; 56 people there, even though only one of my 3 kids got there, with her husband. Lots of Republicans there, but well-behaved. No real wing-nuts; they tend to be moderate Republicans who are in denial that their party has gone stark raving mad around them. We get along great. There was a wedding shower too, Wednesday night, & my late-bloomer nephew's late-bloomer wife is a cute round 34 weeks pregnant at age 37, after three miscarriages. It was a great time!

    -7.25, -6.26

    We are men of action; lies do not become us.

    by ER Doc on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 07:46:18 PM PST

  •  for once i have no complaints :-D (13+ / 0-)

    i was alone today, by choice.  slept late.  played on the computer.  watched all three football games.  had a wonderful turkey dinner.  talked to friends and relatives on the phone. am ready to go to bed early.  have tomorrow off.   feeling very content and grateful for simple blessings!

    "Politics is like driving. To go backward put it in R. To go forward put it in D."
    Four More Years! How sweet it is!!!

    by TrueBlueMajority on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 07:47:02 PM PST

    •  I found a very addicting computer game. (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      You won't rest until you finish all three levels.
      I've only managed to finish the easy and normal levels. The expert level still alludes me.
      It's called The Amazing Fix The Veteran's House.

      "Is that your vegetarian leather jacket?" George Harrison

      by nellgwen on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 08:25:10 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  Full disclosure: I had a good afternoon. (12+ / 0-)

    Some of your usual stresses getting the food made on a deadline to leave for where we were eating, but a lovely meal with lots of good company.

  •  Being sick (14+ / 0-)

    Had my second surgery in two months to address the same condition because the first one didn't do anything.  This one was significantly more invasive, and even though it was done last Friday, I'm still feeling dreadfully sick.  My family has put off having our T-dinner until Sunday in hope that I will have begun feeling better by then.  That may or may not be true of the effects of the surgery itself.  More worrisome is that my eyesightm the cause of the surgeries, not only seems to have continued to decliine but to have accelerated.  It's hard to be positive and upbeat when there's a very real chance one is losing something as basic as one's eyesight, and that the diagnosis that a veritable team of doctors have been proceeding on for a year might be entirely wrong.  If they are right, then this last surgery was also the last round they have in the chamber for treating the condition.  To say there's a shadow over my Thanksgiving is true in both the figurative and literal senses.

    Ever get the feeling you've been cheated?

    by ActivistGuy on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 07:48:16 PM PST

  •  We made it through OK... but my sister-in-law (8+ / 0-)

    Her late husband's brother dropped a couple hundred pounds on his foot, rupturing an artery. Fortunately they're going to be able to save the foot, but s-i-l is spending the day in the hospital with her husband's brother's wife.

    About the worst that happened to us was the meal was 45 minutes late. That's pretty good for us, usually it's a couple of hours. And nobody talked politics and no fist fights.

    The thought that life could be better is woven indelibly into our hearts and our brains. – Paul Simon, "Train In The Distance."

    by Omir the Storyteller on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 07:50:33 PM PST

  •  Bang Howdy partner (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    cany, nellgwen, tinfoilhat

    Slow thinkers - keep right

    by Dave the Wave on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 07:55:00 PM PST

  •  My sister very nearly knifed me, (9+ / 0-)

    unintentionally.  I asked her for a chopping knife, and she thrust it at me point first.  She wasn't angry, just careless.

    -5.13,-5.64; If you gave [Jerry Falwell] an enema, you could bury him in a matchbox. -- Christopher Hitchens

    by gizmo59 on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 07:57:27 PM PST

  •  Not a thing. We all love each other, and told (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    parsonsbeach, JeffW

    each other so while giving thanks together today.

    Most gracious God, by whose knowledge the depths are broken up and the clouds drop down the dew: We yield thee hearty thanks and praise for the return of seed time and harvest, for the increase of the ground and the gathering in of its fruits, and for all other blessings of thy merciful providence bestowed upon this nation and people. And, we beseech thee give us a just sense of these great mercies, such as may appear in our lives by a humble, holy, and obedient walking before thee all our days; through Jesus Christ our Lord, to whom with thee and the Holy Ghost be all glory and honor, world without end.


    Intolerance betrays want of faith in one's cause. - Gandhi

    by SpamNunn on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 07:59:01 PM PST

  •  Very Peaceful, quiet, nice Thanksgiving this year (7+ / 0-)

    as it was just husband and me.  I made pies yesterday and we went out to dinner and came home and had dessert and coffee.  Then  we decorated the tree.  Granted, we have an artificial tree but still it was so much fun.

    We used to travel to friends and when my parents were alive, to their house. Now we stay home and invite a few friends but if they cannot make it, it is just us. And this was one of our most relaxing holidays and best ones, actually.

    It is amazing how great a holiday can be when it is quiet, peaceful, relaxing.

    Follow PA Keystone Liberals on Twitter: @KeystoneLibs

    by wishingwell on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 08:01:40 PM PST

  •  I'm just glad it's over. (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    burlydee, parsonsbeach

    When the going gets rough, the average go conservative. --Henry Rollins

    by Beelzebud on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 08:01:50 PM PST

  •  When you're kind of the black sheep or oddball (13+ / 0-)

    in the family (for whatever reason that may be) the holidays can be really stressful.  Not to mention I never really got the chance to fall in love with the holidays b/c of some not so happy memories from my child and teen years.  It always seems like forced fun for people who consciously chose to rarely speak to one another.  Oh well... pass the stuffing.  

  •  More driven to sadness than nuts (8+ / 0-)

    Because Mom got lost on the way to my brother's house, where she's driven many times before, but there's been road construction and her memory's not so good at 82. She's more like a 2 year old sometimes, I would have happily picked her up and driven her to the dinner but "I'll do it by myself!" as our daughter used to proclaim. Only this time Mom couldn't do it and we had to go rescue her, sitting forlornly in a parking lot, confused. And she has 27 excuses for why it's not a problem, so she shut out attempts to tell her we worry about her. Aside from that, Thanksgiving was great, really.

  •  Thank goodness the NFL instituted the rule if you (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    throw the challenge flag at the wrong time. Meaning when they  had to review the call anyway and the coach threw the challenge. That way instead of say a delay of game penalty they get 15 yards and THE PLAY IS NOT REVIEWED!!!
       Yeah, we really were crying out for THAT rule. Myself, after every game I would just cry myself to sleep knowing that there were coaches out there who were going to THROW that challenge flag unnecessarily!!!And they were going to get away with it. But thank goodeness for the NFL. I really needed that to get the sour taste of the replacement refs out of my mouth. Now I can lay down and sleep the sleep of the pious knowing that that coach will be punished for his inattentiveness. I mean the coach of Detroit lost his team the ball game when he rightfully thought that the Houstoin player was down at the start of that fantastic but completely illegal run but stupidly forgot that theynhad to review the play anyway.
         Buh HWAAAH HAH HAH HAH HAH. I haven't felt this wonderful about how good it must feel to be arboitrarily powerful in a while. If a quarterback is making a pump ffake and pulls the ball in while being tackled and the ball pops out of course that was an incomplete pass. Haven't you knuckleheads ever played footaball like the owners of these teams?

    Slow thinkers - keep right

    by Dave the Wave on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 08:09:21 PM PST

    •  That is a terrible rule in the NFL (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Dave the Wave

      Even the TV announcers for the Houston - Detroit football game said the rule was terrible as did the retired NFL referee that now works for Fox sports.  They said yes, give the team a 15 yard penalty for throwing a flag unnecessarily but still REVIEW the play!  There was no reason for them NOT  to review that play.  The Texan player was clearly down.  To give them the touchdown is to reward people who cheat at games!  This rule cost Detroit the game.  That is way more serious than a 15 yard penalty!

  •  Having my 87 year old, wingnut mother here (6+ / 0-)

    is a challenge, but we don't talk politics. She tries to, but I won't allow it. She can watch FOX in her room but she knows that it's not allowed in the rest of our progressive household. We got through it, but she doesn't make it easy.


    "Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. Matthew 5:11

    by parsonsbeach on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 08:18:41 PM PST

  •  A very quiet stress-free day with my (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    parents. And quite a lot of everything left I took home a fairly big doggie bag seeing as I'm going to spend the next two days cleaning my apartment and not going anywhere.
      My mom always makes a big apple pie but this year it wasn't even touched. We'll have it for Sunday.
      No good movies  on TV, my only complaint, silly though.

    "Is that your vegetarian leather jacket?" George Harrison

    by nellgwen on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 08:18:47 PM PST

  •  Not so bad actually... (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    JeffW, helpImdrowning, Julia Grey

    Spent the day with my chosen family (my older adopted daughter, who was 13 when placed with me), her two adorable boys, and my new foster child.  Attended an interfaith service sponsored by Unitarian Universalists (my new chosen faith), two Jewish temples, a Catholic church, a mosque, and some protestant churches in town.  Counted my blessings that I was no longer with the angry ex, now born again tea partyer.  

  •  alone (6+ / 0-)

    I don't have family or friends to spend holidays with. Haven't for a long time. Before it was always me doing all the work.

    I know I am not the only person on this planet alone. Why do people ignore people who are alone?

    •  Sorry, buddy. Hey, here's to you from my wife and (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Prairie Gal

      I. She just said "here's a piece of pumpkin pie for (him, her).

      My wife and I were together today without family and it was just fine for the both of us. I threw together a quick dinner w/wine.

      A salute!

      "There's a lot to be said for making people laugh. Did you know that that's all some people have? It isn't much, but it's better than nothing in this cockeyed caravan." --Joel McCrea as "Sully," in "Sullivan's Travels."

      by Wildthumb on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 08:39:54 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  Come eat with us next year--we would love (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Prairie Gal, mofembot

      to have you. Although I should warn you my husband is right out there in Benghazi-gate with the other Republicans. By next Thanksgiving things will have either died down, or Obama will have done more good things for the nation and my husband will still be upset about it.

      Having said that, though, we're both hospitable and both have that sardonic sense of humor--not the sarcastic one at people's expense--and we have a mean Thanksgiving dinner here. Our three boys and no pets will be friendly and show you a great time. They'll be 9, 6 and 2 by then so you'll get the full-on family experience. Bring a bottle of family-friendly Martinelli's. ;) Seriously, we'd love to have you.

      I'm amazed by people's courage and kindness in the face of everything and life.

      by LaraJones on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 09:11:27 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  Just my wife and I, and we just finished our (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    pumpkin pie and coffee. Boy, was it blissful without my
    noisy extended family. Sorry, guys, I didn't miss you at all this year!

    If my wife and I did this every year, I wouldn't mind a bit.

    "There's a lot to be said for making people laugh. Did you know that that's all some people have? It isn't much, but it's better than nothing in this cockeyed caravan." --Joel McCrea as "Sully," in "Sullivan's Travels."

    by Wildthumb on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 08:31:49 PM PST

    •  Me too WildThumb, hubby and I admitted this (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      JeffW, Wildthumb

      today. We went to a very affordable buffet a restaurant in a rural region of our county.  Then we came home and had pie and coffee and then later this evening, we made up a cheese and veggie platter with a queso dip. It was wonderful and quiet and relaxing.

      We would be Ok doing this every year. But we do have best friends who live a few hours away and take turns doing Thanksgiving. But this year, our work schedules exhausted us all , we decided to take a year off. And I admit, we liked it a lot. !!  

      Follow PA Keystone Liberals on Twitter: @KeystoneLibs

      by wishingwell on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 08:35:57 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  I cannot complain. (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    JeffW, helpImdrowning, Sarbec

    I got to spend the day cooking with my lovely husband, his sweet brother, and my cousin I haven't known very well (but is starting to feel like maybe the best version of a sister). We did 25+ appetizers and dishes for us, my parents in law and 2 dear friends. Only 2 failed- the dressing and the apple cake. So we said to hell with it and threw the dressing away, and ate the apple cake with our fingers.

    Nobody got hurt, burned, pissed off, or argumentative. The weather was beautiful and the cat didn't jump on the table. They told me it was the best spinach dip I'd ever made, and we pulled off turkey, beer-can chicken, ham and mussels with all the accoutrements like people who'd been cooking together for years. All the things that might have happened to make it better just don't matter, and I might even decide to like the holiday season.

    Yes, tonight I am little miss mary sunshine, insufferably happy. I'll take it.

    Happy Thanksgiving to you all!

    Anyone who scoffs at happiness needs to take their soul back to the factory and demand a better one. -driftglass

    by postmodernista on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 08:36:10 PM PST

  •  My mom got sick before dinner (0+ / 0-)

    First of all she has sensitive stomach and can't eat rich food or she gets sick.

    Over the last 20 years I have warned her when we go out to eat or if she eats too much pie but does me no good, only getting sick stops her.

    She is 85 now and been stubborn all her life.

    I have bugged her many times to tell doctor.  when she got sick after one drink of hot water with a little brandy in it, we hadn't even eaten yet I talked to her.

    We ended up in an argument born of frustration she won't tell doctor and ruined meal. My husband and I ate alone.

    She is fine now, hasn't ate anything yet and we are happily watching Xmas movies but I feel yucky about dinner and our fight.

  •  irritation (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Lorikeet, helpImdrowning, Prairie Gal

    So I finished work at 8 pm tonight, after an almost 13 hour day at the hospital.  Am working tomorrow too, so as home is 2 hours away, I'm staying the night in a Holiday Inn in town.
    Two restaurants open--Applebee's and Perkins...found after first calling all over, then getting back in the car and driving around.  So  now I'm eating mushy deep fried chicken tenders and mozzarella sticks cause that was the fastest thing.  All gotten while I stood and watched the insane lines forming outside Ross, Dress for Less.  Walmart, Target, Kmart and Sears were already open---starting at 8 pm.
    I'm grumpy cause I'm eating fried foods, am not home with family and the damn holiday was usurped anyway by Black Friday.  ??????

  •  Had a great day (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    My sons were home, brought the girlfriends, all the republican family members had to work. The food came out great, the parents behaved, even the weather was nice. Least stressful thanksgiving ever! It was a perfect day.

    "And while it was regarded as pretty good evidence of criminality to be living in a slum, for some reason owning a whole street of them merely got you invited to the very best social occasions."

    by Shippo1776 on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 09:12:32 PM PST

  •  I'm sick as a dog and I have to work tomorrow (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    helpImdrowning, Prairie Gal

    from 9AM to 7PM.

    Just want to die right now.

    As long as we have love, we will always triumph over hate, for love is the most powerful force in the universe. There is nothing greater.

    by Crazy Moderate on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 09:12:47 PM PST

    •  Sorry to hear your sick, hope you feel better (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Prairie Gal, Crazy Moderate

      by the morning.  Even sorrier you have to work tomorrow.  Best wishes.

      "Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." - John F. Kennedy -7.8., -6.6

      by helpImdrowning on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 09:17:07 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  Thanks, I appreciate it. (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:

        I don't want much for the next few weeks. Just to be able to get through work without feeling completely miserable and ill the whole time.

        The busy holiday season is not a good time for me to fall ill, but unfortunately such things rarely ever work based on what is convenient. In my current line of work, I can't really call out during this kind of season (and I can't really afford to anyway as it's hourly).

        As long as we have love, we will always triumph over hate, for love is the most powerful force in the universe. There is nothing greater.

        by Crazy Moderate on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 09:36:37 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

        •  Well the only thing you can do is try to take (0+ / 0-)

          care of yourself as best you can.  Try to eat healthy, drink plenty of water, take at least a multivitamin, and get plenty of rest.  I don't know what kind of illness you have but I do know if you have some type of cold virus, zinc supplements have been proven to ease the symptoms and lessen the duration of the illness.  Green tea is also good as it is full of antioxidants and warm beverages just seem to make you feel a little better.  Sending healing thoughts your way.

          "Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought." - John F. Kennedy -7.8., -6.6

          by helpImdrowning on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 11:30:54 PM PST

          [ Parent ]

  •  It was a horrible Thanksgiving. I'm sick and (11+ / 0-)

    tired of living smack dab in the middle of rural Steve King country. In nearly nine years I've only found three people I feel happy about being with--and they're all older women who don't know how to howl at the moon, if you catch my drift. Tea parties are lovely, but I like to Get Down, too.:-D

      And, none of them remembered that my husband, daughter and I are--once more--all alone for Thanksgiving. We couldn't invite them; they all have huge families to spend the day with...If you didn't grow up here, have a bazillion relatives, and  act like a repressed Lutheran from "Lake Woebegone" then you're an Outsider till  you die. I'm so lonely. I have lots of good friends, liberal, laughing, lively friends, all over the country....but none here. We have to live here because of my husband's job, and as I result I'm dying inside from loneliness.

        My older daughter was stuck in Philadelphia--we can't afford to fly her home for Thanksgiving AND Christmas--and because she works retail couldn't even carve out the time to go spend Thanksgiving with her lovely boyfriend's family, in Baltimore. So, she was all alone, too.

      And I just couldn't take all the excited, gushing updates about HOW MANY PEOPLE were coming for Thanksgiving dinner, how many fantastic friends were sitting at the table, how much food they were cooking, blah blah blah and all the extended family photos, on Facebook, either, so I deactivated my account.

        My parents were wonderful, amazing people but since they've died, my siblings have turned cold and distant--I wonder now if they've ever really cared about our family, or merely tolerated me because our parents lived nearby. I've driven thousands of miles to visit each of them, many times, in the past 8 years (and I was invited ;-) but not one of them has bothered  come out to boring, rural Iowa in the 8 years since the last funeral, to visit ME at my home.  We can't afford to drive to Texas or Philadelphia or Atlanta for a family dinner, anyway...

      Last year, the three of us tried to put up a good show, cooking all the food and sitting down and trying to ignore the Gorilla in the room, but we almost always eat home cooked meals together, anyway, so it just felt like a lot of work for a pretend "Holiday."  This year, when it became evident that--once again--we'd be all alone again for Thanksgiving, while our neighbor's driveways filled up with cars and their yards with laughing children, we just said "Fuck It" and tried to ignore the whole thing.  It didn't work.

      We couldn't go do good deeds and help out at a charity site. My husband is on call today and can't go more than 20 minutes from work in that tiny town of 4000. We live in an even smaller town of only 1000. We were going to take the dog and try to find some "nature"for a walk,  in this land of endless  Monsanto fields, but the wind howled at nearly 40mph all day...AND tomorrow is my 57th birthday, to pile stress upon stress. We'd planned to drive (2.5 hours just to get to an interesting place!) down to Omaha and visit the museum and go out to dinner and see either "Lincoln" or "Anna Karenina" (since, of course, I don't expect a birthday bash with all my friends in attendance...they're hundreds of miles from this wasteland). But I just checked the bank account and we don't have enough money to buy the gas to get there, or pay for the restaurant.

      And, yes, this is a monumental whine. Forced isolation in a tiny town, on the open prairie, in November,  in a Red part of a state evenly split down the middle (western Iowa: boring and Republican; eastern Iowa: liberal and full of interesting people and things to do) with no extended family and real, true friends, can do that to a person.  

       I'm sorry. But I had to vent and you posted this thread and, hey!  You'll all feel so much better about your day, after reading this... :-D


    •  I know exactly how you feel. (4+ / 0-)

      While I am really sick, I am also just really sad. One of my brothers died in January and this is the first thanksgiving without him. And while no one in our family is very old yet compared to some, we are still spread out across the country. I don't have any family near me to spend it with, and if I did, it wouldn't be much fun considering I am sick.

      But even if I wasn't, I couldn't see it being very fun, the first of any holiday's after a loved one you are really close to dies, are very difficult.

      My whole family was really close, in a way our siblings were much closer than some. Our whole family was homeschooled (and most of us still turned out liberal, go figure), but for that reason, and going to a traditional Catholic Church, we didn't know too many people. And there were six of us. So we were each others best friends, super close. His loss was devastating.

      Right now things are tight financially, I don't know when I am going to go back to college, and I am living paycheck to paycheck nowhere near my family. So I don't really feel that I have much to be thankful for. I know I have more than some, I currently have food (thanks to government assistance!), and a roof over my head, and a (for now) working car (that isn't very good). But I don't feel very optimistic.

      I tried to be optimistic for so long, and I did so well, but I am starting to wear down. It's hard sometimes. It really is. I know there must be some hope out there, I'm not ready to despair, someday things will be better. It's just that it seems so far off, and that there is going to be so much struggle until then. It's really disheartening. Oh well.

      As long as we have love, we will always triumph over hate, for love is the most powerful force in the universe. There is nothing greater.

      by Crazy Moderate on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 09:35:06 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  Hugs to you, PG. (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Julia Grey

      Thanksgiving isn't a holiday here in Germany, but with Mr Mo and Youngest both here on doctor-ordered bed rest… for me, it added up to a slightly more stressful regular workday than usual. I managed to find a small turkey and we had kind of an abbreviated T-day among just us. Would have invited some neighbors if (a) they'd been available (unlikely, given their crazy work hours), and (b) youngest wasn't infectious.

      Oldest daughter in SF was invited to relatives and we got to skype with her. But middle daughter was traveling to NJ and thence to VT with her almost-fiancé and we didn't hear from her at all. Nor will we get to see either Stateside daughter at Christmas this year. (Hoping for a family get-together someplace during the late spring/early summer.)

      Ah well. Here's hoping next year will be a more socially satisfying experience for us both.

  •  Nothing (0+ / 0-)

    I got nothing.   I just got engaged for round 2. My family is all together, with my kids, dogs and everyone is thriving.  Doesn't happen every day so I'm loving it

    Hay hombres que luchan un dia, y son buenos Hay otros que luchan un año, y son mejores Hay quienes luchan muchos años, y son muy buenos. Pero hay los que luchan toda la vida. Esos son los imprescendibles.

    by Mindful Nature on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 09:41:00 PM PST

  •  Quiet day (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    greengemini, mofembot, Julia Grey

    Our kids live too far away for a short holiday visit but my husband and I really enjoyed a quiet holiday. We had a mini-style traditional dinner with enough food that dessert had to be postponed until later. The weather was beautiful and we had a couple of good walks under blue skies and the still colorful trees. The only sad thought--other than thinking about all the people who have really tough lives--was that today is the anniversary of Kennedy's assassination. We were college students when that happened and we remember it clearly.

    •  Given that T-day is not a holiday here (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      (in Germany), I ended up being more aware of the JFK anniversary for much of the day — up until certain parties started clamoring for some kind of "real" dinner. I expect the 50th anniversary next year will generate far more awareness, and of course it will not fall on Thanksgiving Day.

  •  I had a great Thanksgiving except for football (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    All of my kids and their significant others came over for dinner and they are all liberals who worked for the Obama campaign!  So we had a lot to be thankful for.  Unfortunately here in Wisconsin Walker is still governor!

    We all enjoyed watching the History channels series on the industrial revolution.  If you can, everyone should watch it as many of the issues they talk about are very relevant today such as how wealthy individuals buy elections.  My cable provider allows for views on demand and so I and my kids could watch the whole series together.

    The only thing that spoiled the day was that stupid NFL rule that allowed the Texan team to score a touchdown when the player was clearly down.  The refs didn't blow the whistle so he got up and ran 80 yards for a touchdown that should have been reviewed and disallowed.

  •  Mostly what I got was grousing (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    mofembot, Julia Grey

    Most of my family members are "unhappy" with the results of the election. They are comparing notes on home security including what and how many pistols and rifles they are using in the defense of their houses and more muttering about what other guns they will buy "when the economy goes down any further".

    I wanted to drag my older sister out of the house and talk some sense into her after her current "boyfriend" (she's 61) was suggesting an audiobook of Atlas Shrugged to listen to. I will make sure she listens to the Any Rand interview so hopefully she'll understand what a giant festering boil of a human being Ayn Rand truly was.

    The Golden Rule isn't so golden if you don't polish it with every soul you meet. (-6.5,-4.1)

    by minidriver on Thu Nov 22, 2012 at 10:23:16 PM PST

  •  Not a complaint at all. (0+ / 0-)

    Love my family dearly, but this year I opted to send the kid north to Portland, and I stayed behind in SF to get reading and schoolwork done, the PhD application that's due in a couple of weeks, and just to catch up on stuff like laundry. A classmate who's similarly buried under school stuff came up for the week, too. Today we had a pretty simple meal of a few things from Whole Paycheck, then went to see a movie

    I managed to back my car into my garage door on Monday and now have to deal with that (with a very kind landlord, thankfully) - annoying, but my own damn fault.

    Today, though? I have no complaints at all. Maybe not the best thanksgiving ever, but pretty darned nice, definitely.

    "I like to go into Marshall Field's in Chicago just to see all the things there are in the world that I do not want." M. Madeleva, C.S.C.

    by paxpdx on Fri Nov 23, 2012 at 12:27:56 AM PST

  •  Thanksgiving dinner as women's work (5+ / 0-)

    We had a small group this year at my parents' house, just 6 of us. I was tired, having just got back from a conference, but mostly I was resentful that being a woman meant I had to stay on my feet and keep cooking and washing dishes when there were other things I'd rather do.

    My mother is in her 70s and wants to recreate the meals my grandmother and her sisters put on the table back in the day. Well, there were five adult women contributing to the cause back then and if the guys sat on their asses all day, no worries. The ladies had it. Now there are two of us and I find myself disliking the whole holiday and everyone involved in it.

    It's also my birthday celebration. Yay.

    What I was thankful for was that my brother and his family weren't here. Because none of them lift a finger. They don't bring food. They don't wash dishes. The rudeness is incredible. I don't understand how you can sit down for a meal in someone's house without making a single contribution to the effort yourself, even if it's bringing a 2 liter bottle of Coke.  I hope they stay away Christmas too.

    My mother won't accept changes well. I've tried to suggest doing a giant potluck with my daughter's in laws and we tried it once but somehow that idea got shelved this time. If I don't show up, my mother will just do the whole thing herself.

    Oh, yeah, no wine allowed. (Why is it that those who drive you to drink are the ones with objections to you actually drinking? I did bring wine one year having mistakenly believed that stand might be softening. Big mistake.)

    I hate to sound so whiny. I'm thankful my family includes no wingnuts.

    But our holidays usually suck anyway.

    I'm open to ideas.

    •  When I was little (0+ / 0-)

      Thanksgiving at my Grandmas in rural Kansas was like that. My sister and I were raised to be feminists, and it used to make us crazy at Thanksgiving. All the women, and us girls, were expected to not only provide the food, but also to clean up the mess afterwards. The guys (including my big brother) hung out. Mom took a "when in Rome" attitude about it, and we followed her example. But it was kind of shocking to our sensibilities to see all the guys lounging around, completely oblivious. It would never cross their minds to even offer to help.

      "YOPP!" --Horton Hears a Who

      by Reepicheep on Fri Nov 23, 2012 at 10:41:50 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

    • poor thing. (0+ / 0-)

      And then you can't even soften the irritation with a glass of wine! IMO, the first thing you can do is not blame yourself for not enjoying this event, and on your birthday to boot.

      Could you consider occasionally giving yourself a Thanksgiving of your own choosing, whatever that may be?  Since it's your birthday as well, it seems fair to yourself, and if the family doesn't like it, they'll get over it.

      I have a friend with all kinds of friends and family, but thanksgiving is her day for, as she says "peace and quiet" in her own home.  She makes whatever she feels like for dinner, watches the movies she's been meaning to catch up on, reads her book, whatever.  She's a very busy woman and always feels thankful and refreshed for this one day out from all obligations.

      It just seems there's a point where we're all entitled to a Thanksgiving we look forward it instead of dread.

      "A typical vice of American politics is the avoidance of saying anything real on real issues." Theodore Roosevelt.

      by StellaRay on Fri Nov 23, 2012 at 11:09:47 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  I really like this idea (0+ / 0-)

        I may just designate another day for my personal Thanksgiving and try to adjust my attitude on the official day so I'm not eternally pissed off on the holidays.

        Years ago I did what I called "Christmas Corrections" to decrease stress. These now need to be expanded to include Turkey Day, it seems.

        Thanks for listening. It means a lot.

  •  First Thanksgiving alone after 20 years (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Julia Grey, StellaRay

    The kids went with their dad to their grandma's for Thanksgiving.  Since my soon to be ex is a vegetarian, I decided this year I'd try to cook a turkey... for the first time in my life.

    I have a bit more to learn about how to cook turkey.  I used the meat probe that came with the oven (for the first time!) and despite it reading 185, the danged bird wasn't ready.  I know the meat shouldn't be all pink like that.  So I cut it up, put it in the roasting pan, covered it with aluminum foil, and stuck it back in the oven another 45 minutes.

    It actually came out pretty good that way.

    At least the giblet gravy I made came out right.

    Soon-to-be-ex brought the kids back around 10 pm and when he saw the turkey in the kitchen stormed out real quick.  When he acts like that I'm glad this stage of my life is over, but some of this is taking some getting used to.

    •  I do two things re: turkey: (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      First, I put the bird in the pan upside-down (breasts on the bottom). This makes it all self-basting and the white meat is never dry.

      Second, I cook the turkey long enough that it falls apart. I am more than willing to sacrifice a Norman Rockwell-style presentation for juicy and tender meat.

    •  Good on you, (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      for trying something new and challenging yourself.  Sounds like like it worked out ok.  For all the down sides of splitting up a marriage, it's good to know there are some up sides---like doing what you feel like when you feel like it without having to apologize or argue with anyone about it.

      "A typical vice of American politics is the avoidance of saying anything real on real issues." Theodore Roosevelt.

      by StellaRay on Fri Nov 23, 2012 at 10:49:54 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  What drove me nuts....and what didn't (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Julia Grey

    What drove me nuts was the constant, constant, constant  "Are you doing anything for the holidays" the day before from my co-workers and rampaging "we're-all-just-one-big-happy-family" (trust me, we're NOT) lunatic of a boss.  

    What didn't drive me nuts was waking up when I felt like it the next day.  Having a great big breakfast with my husband.  Being lazy for awhile.  The weather's been unseasonably beautiful this year, and we went for a long-overdue hike in a nearby park area. Cubicle dwelling rots my soul if I'm not careful, and walking the trail was unbelievably restorative.  

    We worked up quite an appetite, and a big dish of black beans & rice & sausage really hit the spot.

    Working on my book when I wasn't exhausted and stressed out was wonderful.

    Hanging out with my husband was even wonderfuller.  I'm so lucky to be married to somebody who accepts me just the way I am.  I wouldn't want him to be anybody but the self he really is, either, so I guess we're both lucky!  

  •  I had to leave my dog behind. (0+ / 0-)

    M-I-L asked that we not bring our girl with us this year ("holidays are for people, you know") so we drove in separate cars. The downside was no dog but I could listen to any music I liked so it was a 3 hr drive playing my faves.

    A nice meal with no conflict this time around but the best part was taking our nephew for driving lessons in my VW van. He wanted to learn to use a stick so we spent a couple hours lurching around his school parking lot. I suspect he was hoping friends might see him.

    Then a fast drive home to pick up the wonder hound from our wonderful neighbor, a long walk for dog and me, then settled in with the Dvr to watch the Patriots pluck the Jets' feathers.

    Sometime today the Mrs will come home and everything will be right in my world.

    ...religion is the smile on a dog...

    by lbl1162 on Fri Nov 23, 2012 at 05:04:28 AM PST

  •  Thanks giving (0+ / 0-)

    I spent Thanksgiving with 3 of my sisters, some of their friends, one of my daughters, and a niece and nephew in NYC.  The sister who hosted Thanksgiving dinner lives with her wife in Greenwich Village, and she had a gathering of about 25 people.  
    My host had been without power for 5 days following Sandy, but managed well.  Another sister had been evacuated from her apartment building just below the World Trade Center area, and her building was flooded. We were thankful that she was finally allowed to move back home early this week.  Her son missed a week or more of school, and she roamed from one friend or relative to another for three weeks.  The third sister who was at Thanksgiving works for the Housing Authority.  She is in charge of operations at housing projects including those in Rockaway.  She had been working 3 weeks strait, 14 hour days, and the Holiday was her first break.  She lost power in her Queens home, and has a tree down in her yard, but really was never home to take care of it.  I've never seen her so exhausted. She is thankful that, although it took up to 2 weeks to get the power fully back on in the projects, none of her tenants died in the storm.  
    We were all democrats there, so the only political talk was to rag on Romney, to admire Hillary for her part in the mideast cease fire and to have various attendees claim that they were the one who got the gifts Romney complained about, i.e. female student, single mom, low income recipient of health care.  
    It is true that it is amazingly hard to prepare and serve a dinner for 20 in a NYC apartment.  Really.  I mean really.  I mean, who in NYC has wine glasses for 25?  But my sister cooked the turkey, and everyone else brought something that only had to be reheated.  The meal was fabulous.  My only real regret was that my other daughters couldn't come to NY for the holiday, but we did Skype with them.  
    Sometimes it is a good idea to stop, look around, and think about what you are thankful for.

  •  My "liberal" brother in law (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Julia Grey

    Claims cell phones for poor people are bankrupting the country.

  •  Had dinner with the liberal side of my family (0+ / 0-)

    It was great. We didn't even talk about politics, but there was no tension like there is when we have dinner with the Conservative wing. It was a great Thanksgiving made better by the Texans win over Detroit.

  •  I have learned from a decade of hosting experience (0+ / 0-)

    I ordered a thanksgiving meal from a local store. My liberal-er kids, nieces/nephews/in-laws came over Wednesday night and we had a bash-Romney/hail Obama fest and got it out of our systems. So Thursday was cooking-stress free and politics-free day of family enjoyment.
    Who doesn't get excited by a generations battle of beer pong? And we all pity/despise the Jets, so it was all good.

    The road to excess leads to the palace of Wisdom, I must not have excessed enough

    by JenS on Fri Nov 23, 2012 at 09:10:59 AM PST

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