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U.S. President Barack Obama and Vice President Joe Biden (R) celebrate at their election night victory rally in Chicago, November 6, 2012. REUTERS/Jim Bourg
Somehow, not everyone thought this was awesome.
Remember that crazy column two weeks ago arguing that Sarah Palin should run for president? Remember how we laughed and laughed and laughed? Let me pull out this line from it:
If she were smart, Palin would recruit a member of her impressive gay fanboy base — yes, she has one — to help run her campaign. I nominate Kevin DuJan of the widely read gay conservative blog HillBuzz, a Palin stalwart since 2008.
I've been having fun reading election night threads at various wingnut sites. Nothing brings home just how reality-averse conservatives are than reading their election commentary. And unlike their anti-science efforts, or destructive economic prescriptions, or their denial of climate change—their heads-up-their-asses approach to reality this election bit them hard.

So yeah, we won't get such a satisfying conclusion to the climate change debate, but we can get it via their election coverage. And none I've seen was better than Kevin DuJan's election night liveblog.

I've culled some of the funnier bits below the fold, but really, if you're jonesing for more delicious schadenfreude, I'd read the entire post. It's f'n brilliant! And yes, if Sarah Palin does run for president, this reality-challenged joker would be perfect for her.

8:24 PM PT: If you enjoyed this liveblog thread, his predictions (link thx to wwjd in the comments) might be even better.

400pm CST — MSNBC is reporting that Barack Obama is spending time with Reggie Love right now at the East Bank Club, “playing basketball”.  I swear that’s not a joke.  They’re really talking about him and Reggie spending time together on Election Night as a tradition.  Isn’t that something you have with your wife (or boyfriend)…an intimate tradition like this?  WEIRD.  You’d almost think Obama was gay or something (wink) [...]

Okay, so Chris Matthews is on there and he has that Chuck Todd with him (the one who looks like he’s been eating Spaghetti-Os out of can without a spoon and got sauce all over this mouth).  There’s another guy wearing purple (who for once is not Prince).  They’re talking about turnout, and Chris says that “Democrats always win ground game!”…which is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.  This is something you hear every 4 years, but Mitt Romney has been planing run for President for 8 years.  Do you really believe he didn’t think “Oh, I should get a ground game because the Democrats always have a good ground game”.  The whole point in running Romney is that he is a master organizer, so this is just stupid.

Extra funny, in retrospect.
419pm CST [...] Ohio’s a state that elected George W. Bush twice recently…and it was actually hard for Ohioans to vote for a Texan, with the twang and all.  It will be much easier for these people to vote for Romney because he talks like Ohioans and he seems like a nice man who knows what the heck he’s doing.  There is just no logical reason to believe that suddenly Ohio is a Leftist state and that Ohioans want the Left to control the country.  With the hopeychange fad gone, Ohioans will go to Romney.  There just aren’t that many Leftists in Ohio to give the state to Obama again.

When MSNBC talks about Ohio, it’s like they are describing a BizarroWorld version of my home state that’s totally unrecognizable to me.

That version is called "reality."
440pm CST [...] Reince Preibus the RNC Chair says that he expects the election to be called for Mitt Romney at 1030pm.  I’ve noticed something today:  all the Democrats who come on look like death and the Republicans look calm and confident.  Everyone is trying to earn their pay by saying what they need to say, but when Ed Rendell was talking earlier about Pennsylvania he looked FREAKED OUT.
Nah. If you wanted to see "freaked out," Karl Rove clinging to his Ohio "math" won the night.
513pm CST [...] Al Sharpton says that black are angry and are going to vote more than ever for Obama because they see that Romney is evil!

GEESH…this is all so nuts.

It’s the opposite of reality.

And yet ... African American turnout for Obama was even higher in 2012 than 2008. So, more like the opposite of the opposite of reality.
I love that Romney campaign party is cash bar.  I love that he’s not providing them with alcohol.  I love that.

To have a sober president again will be amazing.  And not just one who gave it up…but one who never even drank.  I love that.

Ironically, the more sober candidate won.
532pm CST [...] All we can do is pray that voters were smart enough to see that America would not exist as we know it if Obama had another four years.

I am visualizing every saint, angel, and soul I’v ever known swooping down from Heaven to make the numbers go up and up and up for a President Romney.

I picture all of our great presidents intervening with energy to direct the election to their chosen successor, Mitt Romney.

Our great presidents cockblocked Romney. That's why they're great!
547pm CST — this is nonscientific, but every Democrat out there speaking tonight looks like they are going to throw up too.  A lot of people are emailing in saying that Bill Richardson looks green. Now, he might have eaten too many curly fries at Arby’s on the way in, but I think he knows what’s up.
Was the stuff about dead president zombie energy scientific?
The prep story for when Obama loses Ohio is that Romney stole it with voter fraud.

Ohio will come down to my home county.

So Clevelanders will decide this.

Clevelanders are actually a lot like me.

Obama won election night ballots 69-30 in Cuyahoga County. The margin will be even bigger once provisionals are counted.
650pm CST —  Romney wins Georgia.  NOTE:  Nate Silver said Obama would win Georgia.
No he didn't.
732pm CST [...]  I know that Mitt Romney wrote no concession speech but Obama did.  I know that Democrats look like they are going to throw up and Republicans are being calm.  Chris Matthews would not be talking about voter suppression every two minutes if he thought Obama would win.

Matthews also would have declared Obama the winner on his show when he was asked to make a prediction and he didn’t.  That should tell you something.

And yet, it didn't.
744pm CST [...] Folks, I know you are stressed out, but my home town of Cleveland has got this for us.

Cleveland will not let you down…it will not give the Democrats the votes they need to win the state and Romney will take Ohio and the presidency.

Believe in the Cleve.

Just think of the clear-headed analytical skillz this guy would bring to a Palin campaign!
821pm CST — Stephanie Cutte in Obama headquarters is talking.  They show the campaign office behind her.  They don’t look excited or happy…they look terrified.

Don’t believe the bluster on tee-vee…look at their faces. No smiles….they are staring at screens and are shaking.

He could see people in a blurry background "shaking." Seriously?
942pm CST — Arizona goes Romney.  Nate Silver said that would be an Obama pickup.
No he didn't.
952pm CST [...] Does America really want four more years of weirdness and suffering?

It’s a bizarre and unthinkable thought.

1014pm CST — Barack Obama has won Ohio, and with it reelection.
This is stunning.  Absolutely stunning.
Also, very satisfying, even three weeks after the election.

Originally posted to kos on Tue Nov 27, 2012 at 02:20 PM PST.

Also republished by Daily Kos.

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