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Filibuster: A Play in Two Acts

Avalon Theatre stage, Catalina Island, CA
Opening night!


"Good morning, Mr. Minority Leader! Thanks for coming. I'd like to debate the pros and cons of this Senate bill on the floor and then vote on it."
"Well, how about this other bill?"
"This one?"
"Then maybe we can discuss some judicial nominees on the floor?"
"How about just this one, then?"
"But can't we at least…"
"Not even…"
"So what you're saying is…"
"But why?"

(MINORITY LEADER walks out, slams door)


(SENATE MINORITY LEADER walks into SENATE MAJORITY LEADER'S office four years later)

"Say, I heard all y'alls plannin' to make some minor adjustments to the filibuster process so our side can't abuse it anymore."


Hey, Spielberg: call me. Let's talk screenplay.

Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]

Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Note: Only TWO days left to submit your item descriptions for the the 4th annual Holiday Bazaar online auction.  Proceeds go to help fund Netroots Nation events, including the regional workshops and the convention in San Jose next June.  Just click here and look for the "Donate Item" icon in the lefthand column. If you have questions, email Linda at Exhibits [at]  Auction opens Friday and runs through Tuesday.  And yes, there will be McCarter Family chocolatey goodness.  Careful you don't drool n your keypad.


By the Numbers:
Days 'til Peter Jackson's The Hobbit: 16
Days 'til the Christmas Parade in Dewey, Oklahoma: 10
Percent of voters who chose Mitt Romney, rounded to the nearest percent: 47%
Maine's current jobless rate vs. national average of 7.9%: 7.4%
Number of people employed in North Carolina's renewable and energy-efficiency industry: 15,000
Gross revenue generated so far this year: $3.7 billion
(Source: NC Sustainable Energy Association via McClatchy)
Rank of Facebook, You Tube and Twitter among top social media outlets for following sports: #1, #2, #3
(Source: USA Today)


Mid-week Rapture Index: 185 (including 5 "Debt & Trades" and 1 ad voiced by God).  Soul Protection Factor 12 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.  


Puppy Pic of the Day:  "What's it all about, Daisy?"  "Kibble, Patsy. Kibble."


JEERS to daggers at dawn.  After softening their positions toward U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice last week, Senators John McCain, Lindsay Graham and Joe Lieberman Kelly Ayotte were all bared teeth and mad dog spittle yesterday.  A private meeting between them, Rice and the acting CIA Director proved a mere stunt, an excuse to go back on the inexplicable attack.  Pretty sad.  They're obviously playing out a scheme that has nothing to do with Benghazi, but the public doesn’t give a damn about the story anymore so they just look like petty fools.  Or, as fussy bachelor Graham said:

"I'm more disturbed now than I was before."
Couldn't have said it better myself.

CHEERS and good wishes to Bob Dole.  With the benefit of hindsight, it's oh-so-obvious to me now that the former Kansas Senator was the last Republican to run for president whom I wouldn't have gulped really hard over if he'd won. (I'm glad we re-upped Bubba, though.)  Unlike Bush, Jr., McCain and Romney, Dole seemed to have a dollop of good judgment and common sense.  From the sound of it, he's in pretty tough shape at Walter Reed Hospital.  (Harry Reid used the term "infirm" in a statement.)  We hope he beats whatever's pissin' his immune system off, and that he's up and about soon.  If he stays away from the hospital meatloaf, he's halfway there.

Egyptian president Mohammed Morsi
Mubarek in a Morsi bodysuit?
JEERS to the new pyramid scheme.  I knew the new Egyptian president wasn't going to be a Birkenstock-wearing liberal hellbent on establishing a Jeffersonian democracy in the land of the Pharaohs, but this is just nutty.  In the wake of Hosni Mubarek's war on the 99% (still seeringly fresh in the minds of that country's people), Mohammed Morsi has just taken measures unilaterally elevating himself from tight-fisted ruler to iron-fisted ruler:
•    Morsi's new powers put him above oversight
•    The country's justice minister has been trying to defuse the crisis
•    Morsi's decrees have been deemed dictatorial by opponents
Of course, we know how stories of absolute power end in most instances: demotion to camel poo-fisted ex-ruler.  Oh, go ahead and smirk, Mubarek.  You know you wanna.

CHEERS to great moments in aviation. 90 years ago today, on November 28, 1922, the first skywriting demonstration took place over New York City.  Anyone know what SURRENDER DOROTHY means?

CHEERS to Jon Stewart.  And Happy 50th Birthday to the Emmy-winning "fake journalist" who runs circles around the real ones four nights a week on The Daily Show:

Jon Stewart impersonating Glenn Beck
When he channels Glenn Beck,
time stands still and God smiles.
I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way: I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.
Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.
Stewart: The biggest problem with the [right-wing] denizens of "Bullshit Mountain" is they act like their shit don’t stink.  If they have success, they built it; if they failed the government ruined it for them.  If they get a break, they deserve it; if you get a break it's a "handout" and an "entitlement."  It's a baffling, willfully-blind cognitive dissonance best summed up by their head "coach" in what is perhaps my favorite sound bite of all time:
Clip of actor Craig T. Nelson on Fox News: I've been on food stamps and welfare. Did anybody help me out? No!
We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq.  There's just one problem: it's in North Korea.
"Dick Cheney and Karl Rove, once two of the most powerful men in this country, are now suffering from Ballsheimer's disease.  Ballsheimer's is a terrible illness that attacks the memory and gives its victims the balls to attack others for things they themselves made a career of.  There is no known cure."
And many blessings on his Moments of Zen.

JEERS to cutting off our precious bodily fluids.  On this date in 1942, coffee rationing began in the United States and lasted until Germany and Japan were defeated. Meanwhile, 70 years later the length of the war in Afghanistan has surpassed that of World War II by over 7 years, yet neither We The People nor our corporate overlords have been asked to sacrifice anything.  Not coffee, not gas, nor rubber (HuhHuh—I said rubber) nor tin nor leather nor nothin'.  The only logical conclusion: old man FDR sure was a mean old meanie.


Four years ago in C&J: November 28, 2008

JEERS to sibling rivalry.  Oh, great, I knew this would happen.  We gave birth to the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and now they're playing a game of tit-for-tat---with us in the middle.  We give Iraq a Jonas Brothers lunchbox, so Afghanistan has to get a Jonas Brothers lunchbox.  We give Afghanistan a cookie, so Iraq has to get a cookie.  We agree to give Iraq a timetable for withdrawal, and now Afghanistan wants a timetable for withdrawal.  What really sucks: no grandparents to pass the little brats off to on weekends.

CHEERS to the headline of the year.  It's not "Obama Beats McCain," believe it or not.  No, the headline of the year is this: Ann Coulter's Jaw Wired Shut.  I kinda feel bad about abusing the rules of the Make-A-Wish Foundation this way.  But, damn, they deliver.


And just one more…

CHEERS to the anti-South Park.  It's almost freakishly amateurish given the talent involved, but that's half the charm of A Charlie Brown Christmas, which airs tonight on ABC.  Which brings me to today's "Heh, indeedy" moment:

Still from A Charlie Brown Christmas
"This tree is just the right height!"
It is hard to believe given its popularity today that in the beginning the producers were critical of the show and thought it would be a big flop. … After viewing the final version prior to its initial airing, CBS programmers told the production team, “We will, of course, air it next week, but I’m afraid we won’t be ordering any more.”

Despite the doubt of the producers, the special was a hit from the beginning.  For its inaugural airing on December 9, 1965, nearly 50% of the possible audience (more than 15 million homes) tuned in.  It won two notable awards: an Emmy for outstanding children’s program and a Peabody for excellence in programming.

For our money, the top reason to tune in: one more chance to bask in the coolness of Vince Guaraldi.  Almost makes me want to call a truce in the War on Christmas.  Almost.

Have a great Wednesday.  Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?


Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:

"Since this column was posted it has been discovered that the premise presented about the Electoral College and Cheers and Jeers is in error.  According to the 12th Amendment, a two-thirds quorum is required in Cheers and Jeers, not the Electoral College.”
---World Net Daily


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