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Deep in the heart of the Alpine region of Europe, as the snow gently falls on the little villages of the Tyrol, loving parents are gearing up to terrify the hell out of all the little children for the holidays. On December 6th, the kindly old St. Nick will be rewarding the good children with presents. The bad little children? Not so much. The evening before, St. Nick will unleash his evil sidekick, Krampus, on these unfortunate nose-pickers. Krampus, usually depicted with horns, cloven hooves and a Gene Simmons tongue, will beset himself on these wicked children with switches and rusty chains before dragging their sinful little asses to the bowels of hell in a handbasket. The childhood memories of this traumatic merriment leaves little wonder that this region of the world gave us Sigmund Freud.
Just where did this tradition begin? From Krampus.com.
The European practice of mummery during the winter solstice season can be traced back tens of thousands of years. Villagers across the continent dress up as animals, wild-men and mythic figures to parade and perform humorous plays. This ancient guising and masking tradition continues to this day as the primary source for our modern Halloween with its costumes, trick-or-treat, and pagan symbolism. Among the most common figures in these folk rituals were Old Man Winter and the horned Goat-Man — archetypes now found in the forms of Saint Nick/Santa Claus, and the Devil (‘Old Nick’), aka Krampus.
Krampus is the dark companion of St. Nicholas, the traditional European winter gift-bringer who rewards good children each year on December 6. The kindly old Saint leaves the task of punishing bad children to a hell-bound counterpart The Horned Devil, also known as Krampus by many names across the continent — Knecht Ruprecht, Certa, Perchten, Black Peter, Schmutzli, Pelznickel, Klaubauf, and Krampus. Usually seen as a classic devil with horns, cloven hooves and monstrous tongue, but can also be spotted as a sinister gentleman dressed in black or a hairy man-beast. Krampus punishes the naughty children, swatting them with switches and rusty chains before dragging them in baskets to a fiery place below.
If you think I'm exaggerating just how alien the modern translation of this is to our own experience with Santa Clause and his jolly elves, I invite you to watch this video. The only adjective that properly describes the tradition to American eyes is surreal.
The above video is pretty tame compared with this one. Here, our Krampuses (Krampi?) are dressed in hairy suits and are weilding some serious branches. The next eight minutes are chock full of these demons wilding the good people of Schlanders, Italy. It's like the running of the bulls set in a winter wonderland with drunk guys dressed like demonic Cousin Its doing the chasing.
If you wonder what a Krampus Carol might sound like, take a listen to this. To get the full and proper effect it is best to take a tab or two of LSD.
Of course, I wrote this diary with my tongue planted firmly in my cheek. The truth is, I find these types of regional traditions fascinating. In this case, the clear lineage of paganism practiced in near isolation for centuries, maintaining roots in a modern Western Christian society sets my imagination on fire. Touching on the origins and modern tradition of the Krampus was fun for me tonight. I hope you enjoyed it too.
Heeeeeeeeere's Tops!
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December 1, 2012
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