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Executive Producer of Imus in the Morning, Bernard McGuirk, appeared on the O'Reilly Factor yesterday along with Fox News' own favorite love-to-hate-on agnostic atheist Greg Gutfeld. The topic was The War on Christmas. The conclusion was that the war is being waged on behalf of two entities, the bloodthirsty abortionists and the filthy homos.

I have transcribed the money quotes below:

Bernard McGuirk: The war on Christmas is very very real, and if you ask me, in addition to some grouchy, you know, misanthropic heathen atheists, it has to do with, at the root of it, it has to do with two things. Abortion and the Gay Rights agenda. Because Christianity is against those things. It's subtle but that's why it's so pronounced in recent years, in my opinion.

Bill O'Reilly: I 100% agree. I absolutely agree 100%, that the diminishment of Christianity is the target and Christmas is the vehicle. Because the secularists know their opposition to their agenda, legalize drugs is another one, comes primarily from the Judeo-Christian traditionalists people. It's no so much a church, it's a mindset. Do you agree with this Doug Gutfeld, or is this way over your head?

I am completely destroyed that they found us out and I think it may be due to my own carelessness. You see, yesterday I drove my best girl friend and professional slut, Cinnamon Geespot, over to Planned Parenthood for her monthly abortion. We always stop off at my favorite leather bar, BeeJay's, for a celebratory post-abortion drink. En route, I hadn't noticed we were being followed by a Fox News truck until after I had driven over the live nativity scene in front of the Ebenezer Apostolic Church of the Holy Divine Madness. By then it was too late. We had been discovered.

I would like to apologize to all radical abortionist feminazi's and my fellow satanic homoseshuls if I have ruined any covert Christmas operations by outing our mission to destroy this Christian yearly travesty once and for all. Whatever set-back we may have as a result should be temporary though. I understand the Supreme Court may be taking up our argument to make celebrating Christmas punishable by life in prison. Hope remains.

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