A is for Apple; their prices are fixed
For frugal grandparents, kids gift lists are nixed
B is for Best Buy; go shop 'til you drop
It simply won't matter; their e-mails won't stop
C, Citibank, go and rack up some debt
Your card credit limit has not yet been met
D is for Disney; if you can't go there
Their merchandise shows that you do truly care
E is for E-Bay and with any luck
You'll find something cool and perhaps save a buck
F is for FedEx; they'll ship all your loot
'Til late in December; with tracking to boot
G for Goodwill; you can find some neat stuff
And help out the folks for whom winter is rough
H is for Heifer where animals rule
Sustainable gifts that are useful and cool
I for Ikea; that vast Swedish store
You'll wander for days 'til your feet become sore
J is for Jared, the jewelry place
A big diamond ring! That would light up her face!
K is for KMart; no longer tres chic
You'd better head elsewhere if you're a tech geek
L is for Lexus; that ultimate gift
At this time of year, it's a real heavy lift
M is for Macy's, the Donald's still there
So keep up the boycott; he'll tear out his hair
N is for Nordstroms for fashions and such
But you can shop elsewhere and not pay that much
O is for Oprah who loves many things
On her TV program, their praises she sings
P for Pandora, those bracelets with charms
Be glad your beloved has only two arms
Q, QVC where on late night TV
You can shop from your sofa while sipping hot tea
R for the Radio Shack down the street
For wires and gizmos, they just can't be beat
S, ShelterBox as our TexMex reports
Gives storm-ravaged people great things of all sorts
T is for Target (and Thanksgiving, too)
Those holidays shifts make the workers feel blue
U, USPS, your Post Office friends
They schlep cards and gifts each American sends
V for Victoria's Secret and such
For wee bits of cloth cost you so, so, so much
W is for Walmart where workers are stiffed
They're living on food stamps - their holiday gift
X is for Xanax; those crowds can be rough
They'll pepper spray people to grab discount stuff
Y for yard sales where you'll make a few bucks
Selling gifts that evoked a sincere "wow! this sucks!"
Z for the zzzzs that you're trying to snag
This "shop 'til you drop" schtick is really a drag
So now it's your turn; add your own to this list
Of places to skip (or that should not be missed)
I'll hang out with you on my day-long car ride
From Texas to Georgia, iPad by my side