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Words fail me. My soul is crushed today. I do not, quite frankly, wish to engage any discussions about firearms regulations at this moment. I know it is a necessary, and absolutely determinative discussion to have. I believe that discussion is being, or will be held.

To be honest, there is nothing further from my mind, and my heart right now. I had a startling reality placed before me today. As if it were even possible, the event brought into even more specific focus the reality of the situation in Connecticut, and America.

I hope you will follow me just below the squggledoodlethingey fold, and consider the reality now before us all.

When the news of today's tragedy came across my television screen, I stopped what I was doing. I instinctively picked up the phone and called my friend. She had left earlier today to retrieve her young Grandson for a couple of days at her home.  The plans included she and her husband building his first Tricycle today. I wasn't thinking as I should have been.

I asked her if she was aware of what was going on. She said she was not. I told her to tune in, and call me back. I needed to touch her; she is my friend. It was a selfish act on my part, but an entirely human one.

Who is Adam Lanza? Who is Ryan Lanza? I don't know. At the moment, I couldn't possibly care less. Nancy Lanza? A teacher at the school who did not make it to work today, because her offspring murdered her. Her, I do care about right now. But, what does one say at a time like this?

I was glad my friend's grandson was with her today. I can pretty much guarantee you that child is getting hugged--a lot. I really do not know what to say. There's not much that will seem sincere, or even legitimate. Governor Malloy really said it best, I think. He said that "Evil visited this community today".  I happen to agree with him. YMMV.

There are so many aspects for me that are entangled in this situation that I dare not attempt to pull even so much as one from the spaghetti of this disaster, from the mighty suffering being felt, again, by so very many of my fellow citizens. I so badly wish this had not happened.

This is very quickly becoming an international news story. I tend to scream for privacy right now. No microphones. No sound bites. Shortly, three communities will gather together to examine the white lightening terror of learning, even at this hour, that some children will not be returning home tonight. Patience and control are absent quantities in Newtown, Connecticut at this time.  While every child has been accounted for, the accounting is, for more than 20 parents, a gruesome telling.

All I can bring to these folks is my tears, my consolation, and my determination that we will all, somehow, survive this. I, and we are supposed to be the "good guys", people a child could trust. Yet, those not more than children themselves made choices today that changed so much, for so many, for so long.

The wailing, the heart-break, and the grief will surely pass. But not today. I cannot bring to these families, or these communities the one gift they truly wish to have more than any other. No one can. Evil visited upon this community today.

Somehow, good sufficient to overcome will visit this community, too. It will begin in a few moments. Let's, as a true community, help bring good back, through the tears, through the sadness, and through the insurmountable grief just beginning.

That is the only gift I can possibly bring. Let it be enough, for now.

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Comment Preferences

  •  Who will receive the gifts? (5+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Hey338Too, KelleyRN2, Ebby, blue91, WakeUpNeo

    I am believing that there are many families taking down their holiday decorations at this hour. Presents, gifts and family plans are being altered--perhaps forever.

    I am currently engaged in the daily creation of a Christmas "Adventure". Today, it changed.

    From the relative safety and innocence of an Elementary School, terror was born for children, teachers, parents, cops, firemen, doctors, nurses, hospitals and morticians. The physicality of the pain is more than any person should have to bear, but to expand that to a  family. an extended family, a community...a nation?

    If you wish, you can discuss that here. Let's send our thoughts and prayers to, and for those who will have great difficulty in finding the Spirit of Christmas this year.

    Nurse Kelley says my writing is brilliant and my soul is shiny - who am I to argue?
    Left/Right: -7.75
    Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -4.51

    by Bud Fields on Fri Dec 14, 2012 at 02:54:48 PM PST

  •  Me too. Thank you for this diary, Bud. (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Bud Fields
    I do not, quite frankly, wish to engage any discussions about firearms regulations at this moment.

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