Skip to main content

Hey, guys.

Pestilence here. The other riders and I are pretty busy lately, but we wanted to take a moment and make something clear. In the days ahead many of you will be deploying some pretty stupid arguments against gun control in this country. The whole "cars are deadly, knives are deadly, Nazis started this, and anyway, what about abortion?" kind of dealie. God, it makes our heads hurt just thinking about it. When you write this stuff you make the internet even more stupid than it already is. Instead of wading into this nonsense we wanted to just address one very specific notion you'll be sharing with your friends on Facebook.

You really think gun ownership protects you from the government taking your rights.

This isn't even an argument at all. It's a poorly-conceived Red Dawn fantasy. You say things like this, because in some ugly part of your brain you want to see yourself fighting the globalist army after the collapse of our country. And you have that particular dream because you're old and white, and you're afraid of the way this country is changing. The guns give you a feeling of control.

Okay, well, first of all... when the balloon really goes up you're certainly going to die very, very quickly. It won't be like the movies, trust us. You will lumber down into your basement to start the generator, and you will trip, cut yourself on a rusty lawn mower part, or maybe just have a massive cardiac, because you're overweight, and the only thing you stand a chance against with that AK-47 is a deer. There's a whole political party devoted to telling people like you - the most soft and privileged and pampered members of this wonderful country - that you're some hardy band of rebels fighting oppression. That little fairy tale will evaporate before Glenn Beck collects his gold chips.

Secondly, there really are people fighting against government tyranny. But they're unarmed. They're reporters, and lawyers, and human rights weenies from Europe. They try to make politicians and bureaucrats accountable for the terrible things they can do. Sometimes they even succeed. Occasionally there's a subcommittee meeting, or a scandal, or a change in the law, or a politician loses his job or even goes to jail. Once upon a time, a couple of commie reporters helped remove a sitting president of the United States. You and your camping buddies playing soldier in the woods have never even come close to that.

Say what you want about guns... just don't act like it's about defending freedom. You're not defending anything. Your stupid game prevents us from ending a threat to public safety, but it is utterly irrelevant to the struggle for liberty in 21st century America. You want to do something real, start researching campaign donations, make FOIA tougher, call up a Congressman and bitch. Right now your biggest enemy is not a fleet of UN helicopters. It's an Olive Garden breadstick basket. Cut down on the carbs and grow the hell up.

Either way, it's not really our problem. Be seeing you.



(NOTE: If this article got to you, please consider joining the Brady Campaign to Prevent Gun Violence. It was founded by that leftist from the Reagan administration. Thanks to PS for this link.)

Tue Dec 18, 2012 at 5:52 AM PT: I'm going to do another funny dark gun post. Here's what I've noticed: When you say guns are irrelevant to the struggle for liberty in 21st century America, pro-gun people want to talk about everything else. And to me, it seems like a central argument. Thanks for the support everyone! Have a joyous whatever.

Originally posted to www.goblinbooks.com on Mon Dec 17, 2012 at 09:28 AM PST.

Also republished by Community Spotlight.

EMAIL TO A FRIEND X
Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags

?

More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

Thumb, JekyllnHyde, Alumbrados, nota bene, filkertom, murphy, BrooklynJohnny, ogre, mwm341, mjr, NYmom, DjW, MouseThatRoared, Debby, Heimyankel, Charles CurtisStanley, eeff, frsbdg, polecat, azale, Do Something, frisco, Bob Friend, emelyn, bookbear, hubcap, redtravelmaster, dnamj, concernedamerican, CanadaGoose, teresahill, ask, Pithy Cherub, stevej, mrblifil, vmibran, ivote2004, skwimmer, PeteZerria, Bill Roberts, splashy, revsue, Lilyvt, Redfire, asterlil, ninothemindboggler, tidalwave1, psnyder, nancelot, Kentucky DeanDemocrat, crankypatriot, jaywillie, kj in missouri, yet another liberal, Jujuree, Steven Payne, lcrp, bwintx, Donna in Rome, econlibVA, AllisonInSeattle, zerelda, ybruti, auron renouille, jcrit, llellet, azrefugee, sawgrass727, ExStr8, maybeeso in michigan, historys mysteries, 3goldens, IamtheReason, ichibon, LakeSuperior, subtropolis, Tonedevil, PBen, Nancy Meyer, Omir the Storyteller, YucatanMan, Dobber, FutureNow, howardfromUSA, owlbear1, Beetwasher, dansk47, majcmb1, SaraBeth, machka, markdd, kaliope, brentut5, SBandini, Ammo Hauler, coolbreeze, Lisa Lockwood, Clember, Ekaterin, fhcec, noweasels, occams hatchet, poco, Ranchita, myboo, 417els, tobendaro, profundo, seefleur, Matthias, blueoasis, NBBooks, global citizen, StrayCat, old possum, middleagedhousewife, MBNYC, onionjim, bumbi, Clive all hat no horse Rodeo, lynneinfla, shaharazade, Mr Horrible, postmodernista, ms badger, BeerNotWar, Unrepentant Liberal, pale cold, FlamingoGrrl, fisheye, Polacolor, Cat Whisperer, Mr K, ColoTim, gloriana, jds1978, DvCM, noofsh, Matt Z, Dave in Northridge, bnasley, mbh1023, US Blues, Singing Lizard, crose, cyncynical, mdcalifornia, Bridge Master, jhop7, July4rocks, sable, Assaf, gizmo59, tejanablue, adrianrf, gundyj, flowerfarmer, jesmith2, Phil N DeBlanc, MikePhoenix, spacejam, ScottyUrb, OleHippieChick, Youffraita, Tchrldy, Involuntary Exile, elwior, brooklynbadboy, filby, lineatus, beanbagfrog, tofumagoo, Nica24, briefer, sydneyluv, 207wickedgood, maggiejean, Bule Betawi, artmartin, OHeyeO, Glacial Erratic, lostinamerica, Methinks They Lie, Partisan Progressive, Zotz, mkor7, CamillesDad1, DefendOurConstitution, leavingthezoo, papahaha, Keith Pickering, histOries Marko, IDrankWhat, astral66, boatwright, Nannyberry, Larsstephens, vtgal, ruscle, BlueOak, NJpeach, gramofsam1, manyamile, samanthab, ericlewis0, cocinero, Oh Mary Oh, Onomastic, Maximilien Robespierre, kerflooey, I love OCD, Linda in Ohio, coquiero, bgblcklab1, KCthinking, La Gitane, OldGrammy, iowacaucus, bootsykronos, CoExistNow, Chicago Lawyer, boomerchick, marleycat, Hohenzollern, thomask, jk2003, createpeace, whoknu, ilovecheese, chira2, sound of progress, hobie1616, Miggles, SoCalSal, jvmwordsmith, GrannyGeek, Metalman68, sheepmama, DRo, Cpqemp, Mentatmark, Apost8, PrometheusUnbound, I C Mainer, Laurel in CA, longtalldrink, Take a Hard Left, sparkysmom, i saw an old tree today, stormicats, OldDragon, Heart n Mind, sow hat, Siri, nellgwen, surelyujest, a2nite, 2thanks, Syoho, radical simplicity, sankaty, Arahahex, doroma, BlackNGreen, cassandracarolina, arizonablue, PowWowPollock, monkeybox, fromchicago, Glen The Plumber, Marjmar, mumtaznepal, Robynhood too, Hammerhand, Greatwyrm, TheLawnRanger, Blue Dream, MishaBrewer, DamselleFly, doesnotworkorplaywellwithothers, leftreborn, Lurker in the Dark, Eric Twocents, VeloDramatic, LeftArmed, Matf, aresea, Constantly Amazed, Icicle68, curlyharley, GrannyRedBird, Rachel Colyer, k9kiki, bontemps2012, TBone Apollo, Leeloo, RUNDOWN, richardvjohnson, Kaos

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site