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For the second year in a row, there was an ambulance in the cul-de-sac on Christmas Eve.  Nothing serious, just Grandma tripped over the dog at the neighbors. The grandparents had come to see their new grandson.

Last year was worse. We were away, but the neighbors were having a family Christmas Eve when the wife's brother had a heart attack at the age of 52... in front of the Christmas tree and all the kids and cousins. It was the proverbial  "massive heart attack" that hits someone in their 50's like a bolt of lightnin. The paramedics pretty much declared him dead on the spot, in front of the victim's kids and the whole extended family.

I spent a couple Christmas Eves in the ER.  The first time was when my my wife was pregnant and we drove to spend the holidays with the in-laws.......

She'd had some bleeding.  For those of you who are slow on the uptake, when I say "bleeding" I mean from her vagina which is supposed to only happen when you are not pregnant.  So that wasn't good.

We ended up in the ER. On the way in we passed a guy who had about 60 stitches in his face.  My wife said "Hey I went to high school with him...."

A small utrasound unit was used to look for the 6 week old embryo, but it could not be seen.  They felt that the embryo had probably implanted too low in the uterus and the pregnancy was not viable.  We were told to wait for the radiologist the next day, who would check again for the embryo before giving us permssion to go downstairs for an abortion.  An abortion on Christmas day?  Merry fucking Christmas indeed.

The hospital was half empty. I slept in a chair (my wife got the bed).  I dreamed......I dreamed that the radiologist took us down to the big ultrasound machine, that he could see the embryo, and that he told us everything would be OK.  It was about 7:00 AM on Christmas morning when I woke up.  I told my wife my dream and we both cried.  

About 9:00 AM we were taken to Radiology.  The doctor used the big ultrasound machine for about a minute before saying "Yep, there's the embryo.  It's about the size of a bee, and you can just see the heartbeat.  It implanted a bit low, but it shoud be OK.  The bleeding is just from the proliferation of blood vessels in the placenta.  Try to stay in bed for the next week."

It was just like my dream! We cried tears of joy and relief.  And we had our baby that summer. And the next Christmas Eve  we were all back the ER puking our guts out with intestinal flu.  And then we got divorced. But they still kept up the family traditional of Christmas Eve in the ER without me........

A couple years later I was staying at a friends on Christmas day.  We were all outside in the snow helping him hang a porch awning.  His neighbor was in their garage cutting some crown molding with a cut-off saw.

Suddenly his neighbor came running around the corner of the house clutching his hand.  While doing a mitre cut, he'd cut his finger to the bone.  My friends wife told him to get in her car so she could take him to the hospital.  I grabbed a clean towel from the trunk of my car and tossed it to him.   "Keep it!" I said as they drove off.  Later my friend's wfe said "Thanks for the towel! Half way to the hospital he really started squirtng blood!"  Later that day, he stopped by with his finger wraped in gauze.  None of us were were feeling any pain, but he said "Man this morphine is good stuff!"

Anyone else got a Christmas medical emergency story?

Today (Christmas morning), my ex mother-inlaw was found in bed, blue and cold.  Her daughter did CPR.  She is now in the hospital recovering from a heart attack on a ventilator, and was somewhat responsive.

Originally posted to bernardpliers on Mon Dec 24, 2012 at 04:46 PM PST.

Also republished by Community Spotlight.

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