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Comment Preferences

  •  Charles Durning (8+ / 0-)

    brilliant as the crooked cop in The Sting.  RIP

  •  I remember on an anniversary of D-Day (10+ / 0-)

    (the 50th, probably), Charles Durning read a tearful, heartfelt reminiscence of buddies he lost on that beach.

    My wife and I will do absolutely nothing today. Last night at my sister's house was our Christmas. My wife's family is either gone or scattered to the four winds so that "Xmas eve with my family, Xmas day with her family" old tradition is gone. But I welcome it. No more eating, no more drinking.
    Great. I sure can't eat all that sugar anymore!

    I remember in the "old days" my uncles and aunts were the life of the party. Now it's my nephews, or more properly, the sons of my nephews. So many Christmases. So many memories.

    "They come, they come To build a wall between us We know they won't win."--Crowded House, "Don't Dream It's Over."

    by Wildthumb on Tue Dec 25, 2012 at 12:13:35 PM PST

    •  Since my parents are now gone, my sister is in (6+ / 0-)

      Atlanta and mails our gifts and instead spends a month here with us each summer, and our son is not into family stuff or holidays and goes off to a football game or other event instead of celebrating christmas, it is always just us for Christmas Eve and Christmas now. But we have started to really love being able to have meals whenever we want, stay in our bathrobes all day if we want, open gifts when we want and it is very peaceful and quiet and relaxing.

      For the first few years after Mom and Dad were gone, it was tough at Christmas and kinda sad for us to be alone here..but now we have come to appreciate our family being the two of us at Christmas and we love it.

      My mother comes from a very large family but since she died, , her siblings and nieces and nephews forget she ever had children and ignore us on holidays and well most of the year too.

      Follow PA Keystone Liberals on Twitter: @KeystoneLibs

      by wishingwell on Tue Dec 25, 2012 at 12:27:17 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  Hey, a toast this morning (with coffee) to all of (3+ / 0-)

        us!

        WT

        "They come, they come To build a wall between us We know they won't win."--Crowded House, "Don't Dream It's Over."

        by Wildthumb on Tue Dec 25, 2012 at 12:34:44 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

      •  that happens; families drift apart once there are (3+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        JeffW, wintergreen8694, Wildthumb

        a couple of generations and the first one or two generations have died or have largely died, even with large groups.  The other element is that with cousins. it seems we are a very diverse group with little other than genes to share.
        I have one cousin who is a Beck aficionado and another who is my "Confederate" cousin who sends out stuff about MLK and railing against MLK Day; other cousins I would not recognize if I saw them on the street, as the first "wave" of us have experienced a good many deaths and it is the second and third wave of cousins that now plan things

    •  had dinner yesterday with daughter (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Wildthumb, JeffW, Nespolo

      as she is at the in-laws today for dinner; rest of family is fractured but an interesting aside is that my grandfather was an orphan and was never close to his siblings (some of whom were grown when he was orphaned and refused to take him in or else took him in each spring and worked him all summer, only to turn him out each fall when the harvest was over.  To his dying day, he remembered the relative who cheated him out of $10 wages for a summer's work) and his experiences seem to resonate through the generations

  •  More sad news. He used his surf board to save (5+ / 0-)

    people hurricane Sandy.

    A lifeguard widely praised as a hero after Superstorm Sandy for rescuing neighbors endangered by rolling floodwaters and a fire that destroyed several homes in a small community where grief has been a frequent visitor has died in a surfing accident in Puerto Rico...

    People magazine, which named [Dylan] Smith one of its Heroes of the Year, credited Smith and neighbor Michael McDonnell with rescuing six people trapped by the flood and fire by connecting electric cords and twine into a makeshift rope that could be gripped as they walked the surfboard with people on it to safety at the storm’s height. AP

    RIP Dylan Smith, so young, only 23.

    stay together / learn the flowers / go light - Gary Snyder

    by Mother Mags on Tue Dec 25, 2012 at 12:18:29 PM PST

  •  David Sedaris' "The Santaland Diaries" is also a (3+ / 0-)

    classic...my wife and I listen to each year while we're on the road visiting family. Never gets old.

  •  Two of my favorite actors both died on the same (6+ / 0-)

    day and at Christmas, Klugman and Durning.  ..fabulous actors and good guys too.

    Follow PA Keystone Liberals on Twitter: @KeystoneLibs

    by wishingwell on Tue Dec 25, 2012 at 12:29:07 PM PST

  •  Anyone else here have our situation, I wonder? (4+ / 0-)

    Our son basically stopped communicating with us  about 4 years ago. But he sent us friend request on Facebook. He just does not respond to messages, voice mails,  emails or texts for 4 years. There was no argument, no tension,  no signs of anything wrong at all..in fact the last time we spoke to him was a holiday and there was fun, laughter, and a great time. He said he loved us and then promptly stopped communicating. He is on Facebook and we see he is happy, healthy, has a very good job, tons of friends and so on. He is in his early 30s but mostly just spends his time wtih friends and coworkers and not family.  I doubt it is a stage as it is not like he is in her early to mid 20s but maybe it is.

    And unlike some, we do not have political or religious disagreements or differences. We all seemed to get along very well and we would encourage his honesty and to open up to us and so on. We think something happened in his life where he decided he needed to separate from family and we always gave him a ton of space and freedom and respected his choices..in fact many of our friends think we were too patient with him and we were too understanding and asked nothing of him.
    It is strange because the relationship was close and he so valued being with family at least on christmas as he was not one to visit except Christmas holidays ...he has been fiercely independent since his early teens.

    Follow PA Keystone Liberals on Twitter: @KeystoneLibs

    by wishingwell on Tue Dec 25, 2012 at 12:35:43 PM PST

    •  Our kids are of the canine variety, but we have (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      wishingwell

      nieces & nephews who have traveled or are traveling the same path you describe.  I can't offer much advice, as here I am camping out on dkos on Christmas Day :)  

      •  We have adjusted to it well, I think, because (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        cactusgal

        there is nothing we can do.  We have tried most everything but sometimes love is letting go and moving on and respecting his decision to be silent and have no contact with us. I just wish we knew why or even had a guess as we are lost on that. But we also will not let it ruin our lives or let  the depression take over..we move forward and enjoy time together and with other family and friends.

        Follow PA Keystone Liberals on Twitter: @KeystoneLibs

        by wishingwell on Tue Dec 25, 2012 at 12:57:34 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

        •  I had a sister who was much older than me, and (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          wishingwell

          who never liked me.  No matter how hard I tried, nothing I did ever resulted in any affection between us or any kind of sisterly relationship.  You can let the "why" negatively impact your lives, or you can accept it and be happy in just knowing that your son is alive and also happy in his life, which tells me that you did your job as parents.  And it sounds like that's exactly what you're doing!    

    •  Similar w a Sibling. Fine to Visit But it Breaks (3+ / 0-)

      mom's heart to go years without a word, and visiting is rarely possible because of distance.

      Just today we made contact for a few minutes (mom's become mostly inarticulate) and she was lit up like a tree.

      We are called to speak for the weak, for the voiceless, for victims of our nation and for those it calls enemy.... --ML King "Beyond Vietnam"

      by Gooserock on Tue Dec 25, 2012 at 12:50:03 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  Yes, we even offered the son the chance to speak (3+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        grrr, cactusgal, Nespolo

        freely with us, to yell, scream, curse at us if he is angry with us for some wrong we did that we have no idea about...or for him to just sit down with us and state his wishes and desires. We have even sent him emails over the past 4 years that if he tells us he wants no further contact, we will respect his wishes.

        We have asked him what he would like and we will abide by his decision, no questions asked.

        We would rather he would yell, scream, curse at us or explain what is happening and what he wants but it is the total silence and I mean complete and total silence that hurts the most.

        Follow PA Keystone Liberals on Twitter: @KeystoneLibs

        by wishingwell on Tue Dec 25, 2012 at 12:55:49 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

    •  My aunt did the same thing. But she would not (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Gooserock

      communicate with anyone except her son.  She lived a very hermit like life, happy I guess.  She is in a nursing home now.  Still not talking to any family except her son.

      It is nice of your son to give you the gift of knowing he is fine.  

    •  stuff happens and sometimes we end up creating (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      JeffW, wishingwell

      family groups from nonrelatives.  My brother, who is a minister, only communicates with me when he needs something and jumps at any opportunity to cut my throat

  •  RIP Charles Durning. He was (5+ / 0-)

    great in "Oh, Brother Where Art Thou?"

    Here's a fantastic bit that I can't figure out how to embed.

    “If we, citizens, do not support our artists, then we sacrifice our imagination on the altar of crude reality and we end up believing in nothing and having worthless dreams.” ~ Yann Martel

    by SottoVoce on Tue Dec 25, 2012 at 12:39:42 PM PST

  •  I ingested so much bean dip and beer yesterday (5+ / 0-)

    that everyone is avoiding me today, even the dogs. I think next year I'll go back to bean dip and wine.

  •  Taking it easy today (0+ / 0-)

    Did church last night with spouse and mom-in-law; have to go over and see her later today though because she found something at Macy's on her iPad she wants me to look for tomorrow. (We're going out to finish our shopping tomorrow anyway; not doing gift exchange with his family till Thursday anyway.)

    Been so busy with in-law stuff that we didn't have time to grocery shop, so Christmas dinner will likely be McDonald's or Jack in the Box -- we did go to Coco's last night after early service so I guess that was our Christmas dinner. I plan to do much better for New Year's.

    "If we ever needed to vote we sure do need to vote now" -- Rev. William Barber, NAACP

    by Cali Scribe on Tue Dec 25, 2012 at 12:59:20 PM PST

  •  Some "White Christmas" in Chicago... (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    cactusgal, dinotrac

    ...1/2 to 1 inches. Frakkin' carbon dioxide!

    At least I don't have to shovel it.

    Float like a manhole cover, sting like a sash weight! Clean Coal Is A Clinker!

    by JeffW on Tue Dec 25, 2012 at 01:02:59 PM PST

  •  The first thought through my head when I read of (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    JeffW

    the "too attractive" firing case was that he had handed his former employee a sexual harassment judgement on a silver platter.  The reports I heard was that he had hired her ten years ago and there was a couple of decades between them.
    She had become a bone of contention in his marriage (boner of contention? sorry I could not resist) as it appears she  viewed him as a sort of Robert Young type while he appeared to view her as bed fodder, from his wife's POV.
    Enter their minister who advised him to "cut off his right hand" or fire the object of his lust, instead of manning up and admitting his attraction and his culpability in the non-affair.
    It does illustrate one iron clad rule for spouses of professionals: never, ever become involved in the office politics of where your spouse works, as this guy seems heeded for a large judgement and a divorce

  •  WiiU (0+ / 0-)

    The kids got a WiiU for Christmas.   The games are pretty good, some decent fun.

    Though a heads up: SingParty is not a game in any way, it's a pretty lousy karaoke.  If you buy it, you're buying it because it includes the mic, because the game is really blah.

    Super Mario U though.. pretty fun.

    Gandhi's Seven Sins: Wealth without work; Pleasure without conscience; Knowledge without character; Commerce without morality; Science without humanity; Worship without sacrifice; Politics without principle

    by Chris Reeves on Tue Dec 25, 2012 at 01:38:39 PM PST

  •  Motor/Fish/Deer Heads (0+ / 0-)

    I know Motor Heads, Gear Heads, Sport Heads Hunter Heads are here at KOS.  Do we need a KOSMANCAVE?

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