[although 2013's not lookin' so hot either...]
Mayan forecasts of doom were a bust
Where's a prophecy people can trust?
If the world's gonna end
We will have to depend
On some accurate facts! That's a must!
Kim and Kanye expecting a child?
Those Kardashians should be exiled!
Reproducing at will
Is their primary skill
With celebrities they have beguiled
Poor John Boehner; there's not enough Scotch
To make up for his fiscal cliff botch
As he faces the day
Caucus in disarray
Eric Cantor's on speakership watch
Crazy weather: we freeze or we roast
Superstorms are eroding the coast
Weather Channel folks cheer
"Folks are tuning in here!
Our great ratings are reason to boast"
Football playoffs are finally set
NFL fans can now place their bet
Losing coaches are fired
And the winners admired
And the casualties aren't over yet
Despite ads that bombarded us all
Big retailers are crying "shortfall!"
There are dollars unspent!
Slacking shoppers: repent!
Off your asses, and off to the mall!
Freaked-out Kossacks cry "Obama sux!"
He'd sell out for a couple of bucks!
He's forgotten his vow!
He's a loser, and how!
We're all screwed like some poor sitting ducks!
Will we go off the cliff, as some hope?
Is this all just some more rope-a-dope?
While some here want to leap
Others say "what the [bleep]?!
Don't you realize some folks cannot cope?"
What does 2013 hold in store?
Economic collapse? Far-off war?
Just more gridlock and pain?
Things we just can't explain?
It's for certain: it won't be a bore!
Now it's your turn: please add to this list
Of the reasons this year won't be missed
And your hopes for next year
(And the things that you fear)
And the people who need to be dissed