Jack Lew's first order of business as treasury secretary is to switch to dollar coins so people can't burn their cash for heat.
Oscar nominees are a reminder that you can accomplish anything in life, especially if you're incredibly good looking and talented.
It would be disappointing to find out that Ozzie Smith's 28 career homeruns were because of steroids.
In order to confuse bigots, everyone will now please exchange stereotypes with the ethnicity to your immediate left. Thank you.
Watch out for attractive funny people with great personalities and nice bodies. To yield such power is dangerous.
My vow of friendship is simple: I will never have an exciting business opportunity for you
What's even more tragic is that Eleanor Rigby and Father McKenzie probably would have met on Craigslist by now.
Shoot for the stars, you'll be burned in a fiery ball of gas. Shoot for the moon, you'll asphyxiate in space. Either way you're screwed.