Skip to main content

My family moved to northeast Texas from California when I was ten.  That move was at least as far culturally as it was in miles.  We had a pickup truck but it didn't have a gun rack. We had a .22 rifle and I had fired it a few times at targets.  No way could I comprehend shooting at the deer I'd see on the ranch in the early mornings.  They were beautiful. Nor could I shoot at the coyotes who were clearly smart and had families. There wasn't much quite as foreign to me as the way school seemed to be open or closed depending on the dates of various hunting seasons.  Didn't go to church either, didn't hunt and that tended to set me just a little apart from my friends.  "He don't hunt?"

There was one other gun and I won't ever forget it.

I didn't know my grandfather as he had died when I was a baby.  I only knew that he had been a county sheriff in northwest Arkansas.  The gun had been his.  It never came out into view but I knew where it was, in the right side of the top drawer of the dresser in my parents room.  I was a ten year old boy that morning and everyone else was gone somewhere, so I did what a ten year old boy would do.  It was heavy, very heavy, and had bone handles on the grip.  There was a little bag with it and it was full of bullets--they're big and heavy too.  I pointed it at the various targets in the bedroom and figured out how to release the cylinder so I could put bullets in it.

And I loaded it and aimed some more.  That got old so I emptied the cylinder, aimed a little more and decided to try pulling the trigger.  I was lucky that morning because the only thing I killed was the dresser.  The noise was loud.  The smell was strong.  The room was full of smoke.  I put the gun away and never saw it again.  I then made an epic attempt to cover up what I had done, quite successfully in fact, spraying room deodorizer, filling the three holes in the dresser with wax, using shoe polish to match the color, and digging the slug out of the drywall. Wasn't noticed for years.  But I was lucky and it could have so easily gone another way.  And I would have missed a pretty good life.

I don't like guns.  I'll never have one and I'm not comfortable being around them.  I support what President Obama is proposing, despite my personal wish to go much farther.  I wouldn't get in the way of a hunter's right to hunt, but I do not see much value in handguns or their bogus self protection argument.  I hope something gets passed.

There is a postscript to my story too.  When my father died years ago, I was away and the descriptions of why he had died were vague at best.  A small life insurance check arrived a few months later and the death certificate in the envelope was less vague.  He had died from a self inflicted 45 caliber gunshot wound to the head.  I know the gun that he used.

Originally posted to pbearsailor on Thu Jan 17, 2013 at 05:25 PM PST.

Also republished by Shut Down the NRA, Headwaters, and Repeal or Amend the Second Amendment (RASA).

EMAIL TO A FRIEND X
Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags

?

More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

Meteor Blades, Ed in Montana, Sylv, easong, Alma, Marek, dwellscho, Ducktape, hester, murphy, Timaeus, MarkC, Gooserock, TrueBlueMajority, NYmom, Emerson, MouseThatRoared, wu ming, donna in evanston, mlharges, cotterperson, liz, LEP, mslat27, rightiswrong, TX Unmuzzled, Sandy on Signal, devtob, WI Deadhead, goObama, Birdman, Heart of the Rockies, RubDMC, scribe, busternjake, 88kathy, susakinovember, Ian S, Agathena, CalvinV, stevej, mrblifil, PeteZerria, Iberian, aitchdee, wader, Texknight, dejavu, psnyder, TexDem, pat bunny, ranger995, exiledfromTN, JimWilson, HeyMikey, NYFM, Steven Payne, RuralLiberal, annetteboardman, eodell, riverlover, FlyingToaster, JayBat, AllisonInSeattle, Major Kong, zerelda, side pocket, KayCeSF, tomjones, Emmy, radarlady, ichibon, UFOH1, UncleCharlie, gerard w, subtropolis, ZappoDave, basquebob, Tod, Laurence Lewis, reflectionsv37, Beetwasher, most peculiar mama, Yamara, kazoo of the north, The Eyewitness Muse, Tunk, Ginny in CO, kathny, ThatSinger, begone, Mother Mags, BachFan, Patriot Daily News Clearinghouse, tobendaro, SciFiGuy, profundo, tonyahky, Yellow Canary, liberalconservative, Scientician, Loonesta, ccmask, deha, blueoasis, The Hindsight Times, Rosaura, MBNYC, llbear, Turbonerd, onionjim, Mad 60, CA Nana, Clive all hat no horse Rodeo, suspiciousmind, nhox42, postmodernista, Little, Nulwee, BeerNotWar, Aaa T Tudeattack, john07801, peagreen, Loudoun County Dem, camlbacker, bigjacbigjacbigjac, Debs2, gailwax, gloriana, Positronicus, VClib, edsbrooklyn, DvCM, Trial Lawyer Richard, Richard Lyon, Matt Z, mommyof3, Back In Blue, jnhobbs, millwood, hopi13, Wreck Smurfy, uciguy30, vet, TomP, MKinTN, rogerdaddy, JeffW, MikePhoenix, ScottyUrb, mamamedusa, Senor Unoball, shaketheworld, Sharon Wraight, Secular John, lavorare, mikeconwell, monkeybrainpolitics, Calamity Jean, tofumagoo, smartdemmg, petulans, phrogge prince, TexanJane, msdobie, Karl Rover, enufisenuf, statsone, oldliberal, Fiddlegirl, maggiejean, Bule Betawi, Glacial Erratic, greengemini, divineorder, Donkey Hotey, LeftOfYou, Sarge in Seattle, Zotz, shopkeeper, DefendOurConstitution, petral, kevinpdx, sfarkash, astral66, Lefty Ladig, CalGal47, confitesprit, flitedocnm, stegro, SmartRat, Interceptor7, stunzeed, Anima, Lost and Found, gulfgal98, samanthab, pixxer, DiegoUK, Loose Fur, Oh Mary Oh, nosleep4u, dwayne, cany, Jane Lew, PaDemTerry, TAH from SLC, kerflooey, Freelance Escapologist, I love OCD, ozsea1, coquiero, AdamR510, HiKa, deeproots, marleycat, zukesgirl64, badscience, sofa turf, MRA NY, peregrine kate, sound of progress, Andrew F Cockburn, stevie avebury, blue aardvark, Miggles, SoCalSal, rscopes, DRo, Kanscott, Mentatmark, Mathazar, Tailgunner30uk, Eowyn9, tweeternik, anodnhajo, Flying Goat, TheLizardKing, Siri, James Renruojos, S F Hippie, 2thanks, Yonkers Boy, peachcreek, BusyinCA, Canines and Crocodiles, Buckeye54, dfwlibrarian, oldpotsmuggler, arizonablue, Denver11, Glen The Plumber, Robynhood too, Near Miss, Hammerhand, Sue B, allensl, Rosedale, Ray Pensador, bisleybum, Chaddiwicker, GwenM, Alhambra, ggfkate, ReverseThePolarity, Smoh, Hey338Too, JKTownsend, blue91, RadicalParrot, blugrlnrdst, JCP Rio, dannyboy1, Weezerr1

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site