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Last night, Stephen Colbert looked at the unhinged right-wing reaction to Obama's gun safety proposals, and explained in this brilliant segment what the Second Amendment really means to these people.  Meanwhile, Jon also blasted the insane right-wing responses to Obama's gun safety proposals.

BILL O'REILLY (12/18/2012): The Founders feared government tyranny and allowed the people to arm themselves against it.

BEN SHAPIRO (1/10/2013): The basis for the Second Amendment is not really about self-defense ... it is about resistance to government tyranny.

SEAN HANNITY (1/15/2013): Our Founders, our Framers, they never mentioned hunting, they never mentioned deer, they never mentioned any of these things.  They talked about freedom and liberty over tyranny.

Damn straight!  Like anybody setting up a new government, the Founders added a clause that said, "If you don't like what we're doing, feel free to shoot us."

It's like... the Second Amendment is like the ultimate veto.  It's almost like a Constitutional pre-nup.  ("To Have And To Holster")  That's why I and my friends at Fox News have always stood with those who arm themselves against government tyranny.  Patriots like Bill Ayres and the Weather Underground.  (Can't Spell "Patriot" Without "Riot")

Now, don't get me wrong.  The Founders didn't want us to engage in armed insurrection at the drop of a hat.  (Unless Government Was Coming For Your Hat)  No.  They knew it should be only if something unimaginable happened.  (Like Electing A Black Guy)

....

When the Second Amendment was written, we didn't have a standing army.  And the most powerful weapon in America's arsenal was the horse-drawn smallpox blanket.  (Hey Apaches!  They're Free!)

But folks, today, America has the world's greatest military, full of brave men and women armed with the most powerful weaponry ever devised.  And it is because I respect our troops so much, that I need a fully automatic assault rifle with a 100-round magazine to kill them when they come for my guns.  (Fuck You For Your Service)  (shocked audience laughter)

....

So, Mr. King President, unless you and the anti-gun brigade will admit that we gun owners are constitutionally guaranteed the right to have any weapon we want, we will use every weapon we can get to keep every weapon we have.  (United We Standoff)

Former Bush press secretary Dana Perino felt Obama's use of executive orders to protect schools was a certain untasty beverage.
DANA PERINO (1/9/2013): The administration looks ready to move very quickly, even if that means circumventing Congress. ... Wouldn't you want to try to get bipartisan legislation?

DANA PERINO (1/16/2013): Signing these 23 executive orders is very weak tea.

Yeah, sure, bypassing Congress, signing them.  Here she is in her previous job.
DANA PERINO (10/19/2007): The President will sign an executive order tomorrow morning.  It will help preserve two of our nation's most popular recreational fish: the striped bass and red drum.
(audience cheering and applause)

No, no, there's a distinction here.  There's a strong distinction.  What she is saying is it is OK to use executive orders, but only if you're protecting these schools.

(wild audience applause)

....

LAWRENCE STONE (1/13/2013): You know, I'm Jewish.  And I think, what would these people... what would the German Jews have done with a whole bunch of AR-15s and stockpiles of weapons?  They wouldn't have been murdered!
Look, I wish.  You can never know with certainty how history might have been different — unless of course you have a DeLorean with a flux capacitor, but I don't think....

I wish armed Jews in the ghetto could stop Hitler.  But my feeling was, France couldn't.  And I'm pretty sure they had guns.  (audience cheering and applause)  Russia had kind of a lot of guns, and they couldn't stop Hitler, until you factored in the wind chill.

It's an awful lot to put on an oppressed minority, when it took the free world 5 to 6 years of all-out total war to stop that motherfucker.  So let's stop arguing these "what ifs".

LARRY WARD (1/11/2013): I think Martin Luther King would agree with me, if he were alive today.
(disgusted audience reaction)

Yeah, how did he die again?  (audience applause)  But go on, go on.  No, it's good.  And remember, Monday's his birthday.  Go ahead.

LARRY WARD (1/11/2013): That if African-Americans had been given the right to keep and bear arms from day one of the country's founding, perhaps slavery might not have been a chapter in our history.
(disgusted audience reaction)

(sings)  They say it's your birthday!

Yes, if only the Africans brought to this country in chains... had been allowed to have guns.  Although obviously, given the climate of the country at that time, would they have gotten whole guns, or three-fifths of a gun?  You never know.

Look, I just want to say, you're not going to get any pushback in this country on your point about not wanting tyranny or not liking tyranny.  The question is a disagreement in just how close we are teetering on the edge of it, and whether or not you're confusing tyranny with the unpleasant burning sensation of losing democratic elections, which we just had.

....

And by the way, if Obama were a tyrant ... forget about utterly tanking your first debate.  Tyrants don't show up for those.  The real debate for tyrants is, how big you wanna go with the sunglasses and epaulettes?

Video and full transcript below the fold.

Thankfully, folks, our constitution has a built-in mechanism to stop democratically elected tyrants from taking our guns, and that brings us to tonight's Wørd: United We Standoff.  President Obama and his anti-gun stormtroopers say it's OK for me to have a pistol, it's OK for me to have a rifle, it's OK for me to have a shotgun, but it's not OK for me to have military-style weaponry?  Maybe they've forgotten what the Second Amendment is all about.
BILL O'REILLY (12/18/2012): The Founders feared government tyranny and allowed the people to arm themselves against it.

BEN SHAPIRO (1/10/2013): The basis for the Second Amendment is not really about self-defense ... it is about resistance to government tyranny.

SEAN HANNITY (1/15/2013): Our Founders, our Framers, they never mentioned hunting, they never mentioned deer, they never mentioned any of these things.  They talked about freedom and liberty over tyranny.

Damn straight!  Like anybody setting up a new government, the Founders added a clause that said, "If you don't like what we're doing, feel free to shoot us."

It's like... the Second Amendment is like the ultimate veto.  It's almost like a Constitutional pre-nup.  ("To Have And To Holster")  That's why I and my friends at Fox News have always stood with those who arm themselves against government tyranny.  Patriots like Bill Ayres and the Weather Underground.  (Can't Spell "Patriot" Without "Riot")

Now, don't get me wrong.  The Founders didn't want us to engage in armed insurrection at the drop of a hat.  (Unless Government Was Coming For Your Hat)  No.  They knew it should be only if something unimaginable happened.  (Like Electing A Black Guy)

Something like the government of the United States turning on its own citizens.  That's why we need weapons.  And not some weak-ass 10-round magazines either.  As CNN conservative contributor Erick Erickson put it:

ERICK ERICKSON (1/15/2013): You may think a 30-round magazine is too big.  Under the real purpose of the Second Amendment, a 30-round magazine might be too small.
Yes, because remember, we're talking about fighting the United States government.  When the Second Amendment was written, we didn't have a standing army.  And the most powerful weapon in America's arsenal was the horse-drawn smallpox blanket.  (Hey Apaches!  They're Free!)

But folks, today, America has the world's greatest military, full of brave men and women armed with the most powerful weaponry ever devised.  And it is because I respect our troops so much, that I need a fully automatic assault rifle with a 100-round magazine to kill them when they come for my guns.  (Fuck You For Your Service)  (shocked audience laughter)

I mean, realistically, let's think about this.  You think that AR-15 is going to save you when Uncle Sam comes a-knockin' with an Apache helicopter?  (Sorry About The Blankets, Guys...)

Now, if the Second Amendment is truly to defend ourselves against government force, then citizens will never be safe until we can have our own aircraft carriers.  (Parking's A Bitch)  Now, I know what some out there are saying.  Now, might some deranged individual take their constitutionally guaranteed aircraft carrier to a mall, let's say, and rain hellfire missiles down on a Cinnabon for skimping on the frosting?  (Still Better For You Than Eating Cinnabon)

Well, of course.  There's no stopping that.  But, as Jefferson said, "Sometimes the tree of liberty must be watered with the blood of the innocent."  Look it up.  (Don't Look It Up)

So, Mr. King President, unless you and the anti-gun brigade will admit that we gun owners are constitutionally guaranteed the right to have any weapon we want, we will use every weapon we can get to keep every weapon we have.  (United We Standoff)  And that's the Wørd.  We'll be right back.

And here's Jon's take.
I guess folks like Hannity just really want to protect Americans' liberties, and would stand up to any presidential overreach, even if that overreach was being done in the name of saving American lives.  Like if the President, without so much as a search warrant, wanted to listen in to your private conversations.  I can't imagine a guy like Hannity trying to justify that kind of executive overreach in — I don't know — 2006.  Roll tape.
SEAN HANNITY (5/11/2006): The President's Article II power under the Constitution as Commander-in-Chief, he has to ensure the safety of this country and the American people, doesn't he?  Especially during war.
Yeah, looks like a tyrant is anyone sworn to protect the Constitution that you didn't vote for.

Former Bush press secretary Dana Perino felt Obama's use of executive orders to protect schools was a certain untasty beverage.

DANA PERINO (1/9/2013): The administration looks ready to move very quickly, even if that means circumventing Congress. ... Wouldn't you want to try to get bipartisan legislation?

DANA PERINO (1/16/2013): Signing these 23 executive orders is very weak tea.

Yeah, sure, bypassing Congress, signing them.  Here she is in her previous job.
DANA PERINO (10/19/2007): The President will sign an executive order tomorrow morning.  It will help preserve two of our nation's most popular recreational fish: the striped bass and red drum.
(audience cheering and applause)

No, no, there's a distinction here.  There's a strong distinction.  What she is saying is it is OK to use executive orders, but only if you're protecting these schools.

(wild audience applause)

But not only was Obama guilty of executive overreach, yesterday, Obama was guilty of executive overdramatization.

MEGYN KELLY (1/15/2013): Using children just raises the emotional hackles.

WILL CAIN (1/17/2013): I find it despicable ... just deal with this on a rational, intellectual level, and let's see if the debate merits itself out.

First of all, yes.  That was some manipulative, political bullshit right there.  That was some stagecraft, no question, which, you know, I think you can argue about and begrudge.  And especially when the right's been trying so hard to maintain a rational and logical dialogue about guns.  Remember?
LARS LARSON (1/9/2013): If he does executive orders, he's becoming more like Hugo Chavez.

MAN ON FOX NEWS (1/12/2013): Like Hitler, like Stalin, like Mao.

ALEX JONES (1/13/2013): Fidel Castro took the guns!

1/11/2013:

LAWRENCE STONE: It happened to the Germans, it happened in China, it happened in Uganda....

SEAN HANNITY: Germany, French, Italy, Spain, Japan....

REP. STEVE STOCKMAN, R-TX (1/15/2013): He's even using children.  Reminds me of Saddam Hussein, when he used kids.
Wow!  It's like a game of $25,000 Pyramid, where the categories are either dictators, or unflattering mustaches.

Maybe we're not ready to have a specific conversation about what government can do about gun violence until we have a clearer understanding of how we all regard our relationship to the government.

GUN APPRECIATION DAY CHAIRMAN LARRY WARD (1/14/2013): If the United States wanted to ban assault weapons, well, the government should go first and turn in all of their assault weapons that they engage the American people in.
(shocked audience laughter)

See, now we're having a rational, logical conversation.... (mumbles off)

So in your mind, you believe gun control is an arms treaty negotiation with our U.S. military, as the Founders intended.  Here's what concerns me about this: the whiff of self-fulfilling prophecy.  If you're girding yourself for a massive battle with a despotic black copter uber-government, stocking up on guns, ammo, and Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup, and it doesn't happen, then you just look like an asshole with a soup fetish.  Although, obviously, no one's going to tell you that to your face.

But, the only way your life would end up being truly meaningful is if the tyranny talk comes true, which puts you in the difficult position of having to argue tyranny hypotheticals.

LAWRENCE STONE (1/13/2013): You know, I'm Jewish.  And I think, what would these people... what would the German Jews have done with a whole bunch of AR-15s and stockpiles of weapons?  They wouldn't have been murdered!
Look, I wish.  You can never know with certainty how history might have been different — unless of course you have a DeLorean with a flux capacitor, but I don't think....

I wish armed Jews in the ghetto could stop Hitler.  But my feeling was, France couldn't.  And I'm pretty sure they had guns.  (audience cheering and applause)  Russia had kind of a lot of guns, and they couldn't stop Hitler, until you factored in the wind chill.

It's an awful lot to put on an oppressed minority, when it took the free world 5 to 6 years of all-out total war to stop that motherfucker.  So let's stop arguing these "what ifs".

LARRY WARD (1/11/2013): I think Martin Luther King would agree with me, if he were alive today.
(disgusted audience reaction)

Yeah, how did he die again?  (audience applause)  But go on, go on.  No, it's good.  And remember, Monday's his birthday.  Go ahead.

LARRY WARD (1/11/2013): That if African-Americans had been given the right to keep and bear arms from day one of the country's founding, perhaps slavery might not have been a chapter in our history.
(disgusted audience reaction)

(sings)  They say it's your birthday!

Yes, if only the Africans brought to this country in chains... had been allowed to have guns.  Although obviously, given the climate of the country at that time, would they have gotten whole guns, or three-fifths of a gun?  You never know.

Look, I just want to say, you're not going to get any pushback in this country on your point about not wanting tyranny or not liking tyranny.  The question is a disagreement in just how close we are teetering on the edge of it, and whether or not you're confusing tyranny with the unpleasant burning sensation of losing democratic elections, which we just had.

And by the way, if Obama were a tyrant, you think these are the numbers he puts up?

Tyrants don't have to fight that fucking hard for Ohio!  (audience cheering and applause)

And generally, forget about utterly tanking your first debate.  Tyrants don't show up for those.  The real debate for tyrants is, how big you wanna go with the sunglasses and epaulettes?

You know, I guess it could be best summed up by the old homily:

First they came for the guns,
And I said nothing.
Because they really didn't.

We'll be right back.

After showing a shocking story about how Subway's has actually been only giving us 11 inches in their footlongs, Stephen then looked at the porn lawsuit here in Los Angeles, and on some of Fox News's personalities' porn names.
Jon then looked at the White House petition website with some of the more, ah, interesting, petitions.
Stephen talked with Constitutional law professor Akhil Reed Amar, and Jon talked with actress Lena Dunham.

Originally posted to BruinKid on Fri Jan 18, 2013 at 05:00 AM PST.

Also republished by Shut Down the NRA, Electronic America: Progressives Film, music & Arts Group, and Repeal or Amend the Second Amendment (RASA).

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