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Glenn Beck outlines his plans for 'Independence', a combination town and theme park.
I don't even know what to say:
Glenn Beck has a dream. On Thursday, the former Fox News host, gold bug, survival-seed guru, movie star, and bestselling author unveiled plans for a new planned community—inspired by the Ayn Rand novel Atlas Shrugged—to be built at an undisclosed location somewhere in the United States.
All right, here's the deal. Independence will, presuming Glenn Beck can pull "over two billion dollars" out of his ear, be a "city-theme park hybrid." According to Beck's remaining minions, it would have:
Media, live events, small business stores, educational projects, charity, entertainment, news, information, and technology R&D – all of these things would have a home in Independence. With the rest of the country and the world going away from the values of freedom, responsibility and truth, Independence would be a place built on the very foundation of those principles. A retreat from the world where entrepreneurs, artists, and creators could come to put their ideas to work.
Oh, and Glenn Beck would have a television/movie studio there, so that he could produce some sweet, sweet films about how America is going to hell and you really need to buy a lead-lined can of wheat seeds so that you can make your family bread after the apocalypse. And there'd be a Marketplace, a place ...
[...] where craftmen and artisan could open and run real small businesses and stores. The owners and tradesmen could hold apprenticeships and teach young people the skills and entrepreneurial spirit that has been lost in today’s entitlement state.
Yes, that's the whole problem. The darn "entitlement state" is keeping kids today from learning a trade, it has nothing to do with wage stagnation and factory closings and the fact that being a "skilled" worker, in many fields nowadays, gets you pay no better than fast food manager. Oh, for the old America Beck pines for! You know, except without the unions, or fair pay, or decent public schools, or anything else. No, Glenn Beck's vision of America is distinctly pre-industrial. Come, children, let us learn at the feet of the village blacksmith! No, you're not getting paid for this, you little parasites.

And there'd be, well, whatever kind of porn this is:

Across the lake, there would be a church modelled after The Alamo which would act as a multi-denominational mission center. The town will also have a working ranch where visitors can learn how to farm and work the land.
A church modeled after The Alamo? Sweet Jesus H. Crocket, I can't even begin to unpack that. I will say, however, that there's nothing Ayn Rand about a multi-denominational church, and I think even most of Glenn Beck's fanbase would probably wig out at the multi-denominational part. There's nothing particularly Ayn Rand about any of it, for that matter, unless one of the theme park attractions will be lessons on how to collect welfare checks and commit adultery.

That said: I want to see this happen. I might even be willing to contribute to see this happen. The notion of an entire theme park based on Glenn Beck's vision of the world, populated entirely by people who think to themselves, "Why, this Glenn Beck fellow has a point"—Best. Theme Park. Ever. You'd probably need a bulletproof vest to enter, and I predict it would take maybe 18 months before the tradesmen, entrepreneurs, and painters of Ronald Reagan riding a dinosaur on black velvet would all go Lord of the Flies on each other and/or barricade themselves in their Alamo-themed church, but simply as reality show—so, so worth it. Make it happen, Beck. Not for your dwindling fans, but for all of the rest of us.


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