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I have a little list
None of them will be missed..

Actually, we all probably have little lists, of people we like, of people we love, of people we're wary about, of people we avoid assiduously.

My lists are rather lopsided.  I have this impossibly long list of people like, and of people I love. Once you make it onto one of those lists, you're there for life.

I have an even longer list of people I'm wary about - quite the longest list by far as it contains a lot of people whose names I don't know and may never know.  Some are people I've glimpsed, and many are people I will probably never meet.  Wary can change. I've had a few people move from "wary" to "like" and even to "love".

And then, I have this troubling little list over here of people I do not like at all.  It really is a little list, especially in comparison to the other lists. Some of the people are undeservedly on this list, which is what makes it troubling.  They're on it because I don't like some one thing about them so much I can't stand to be around them. At all. They aren't bad people. They just grate on me in all the wrong, hair-raising, off-putting ways.

And a few people, very few, are deservedly on this list.

I truly wouldn't miss them.

I don't write my lists down and I try hard not to keep track of who is on what list. But I still have them.

Do you keep mental lists of people you care for and people you don't care for?

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Comment Preferences

  •  Tip Jar (15+ / 0-)

    All knowledge is worth having. Check out OctopodiCon to support steampunk learning and fun. Also, on DKos, check out the Itzl Alert Network.

    by Noddy on Fri Jan 18, 2013 at 09:30:07 PM PST

  •  No. (11+ / 0-)
    Do you keep mental lists of people you care for and people you don't care for?
    As you note, the position of loathe/like/love is very mutable.

    Someone I loathe today I might like tomorrow...and if they are very special, learn to love by next week.

    Life Is Too Short to worry about it.  Whatever happens, happens.

    To make the argument that the media has a left- or right-wing, or a liberal or a conservative bias, is like asking if the problem with Al-Qaeda is do they use too much oil in their hummus. Al Franken

    by Youffraita on Fri Jan 18, 2013 at 09:41:57 PM PST

  •  It's the 'do not like' list that bothers me (7+ / 0-)

    It's particularly troubling when someone on the list is a person you 'should' like - for instance a family member, or a sibling's spouse.  I find that if I have time for preparation, and I don't have to spend too much time with them, I can understand and/or overlook the annoyances. If it's an unexpected visit, or if I'm in close quarters with them for too long, that's when there is trouble.  But if I have time to give myself a pep talk about why they have these annoying and unlikeable traits ( okay, why he has these traits) I can feel fairly kindly for a bit.  Then, when the visit is over, I just forget about them till the next time.

    The past 50 years we: -Ended Jim Crow. -Enacted the Voting Rights Act. -Attained reproductive rights (contraceptive & abortion). -Moved toward pay equity. Republicans want to take our country back. I WON'T GO BACK!

    by petesmom on Fri Jan 18, 2013 at 10:32:10 PM PST

  •  Sure... (8+ / 0-)

    I have a "shit list," "love list" and a "highly respected" list.

    I have similar versions for members here, though they're usually very tentative in nature. I don't necessarily hold grudges, but I certainly remember who conducts themselves in what manner.

    There's nothing wrong with it, as long as you keep from being factionalized as a result. I remember who's been kind, supportive, and wise. I also remember who's acted like a dick. Yet those on either list of people can move from one group to the other, depending. And I certainly don't share that list with anyone.

    I have no doubt I'm on similar lists maintained by others, though I do try my best to avoid being on someone's shit list, it's inevitable.

    Basic human nature....nobody likes to be the victim of a repeat performance. Likewise, many people want to acknowledge someone who's been there for you.

    Somebody has to do something, and it's just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us.
    ~ Jerry Garcia

    by DeadHead on Fri Jan 18, 2013 at 11:21:47 PM PST

  •  'allo all IANers (7+ / 0-)

    "nother day; 'nother dollar as they used to say.  I used to use lists.  I had to have lists to organize myself and make sure I did not leave any task undone.
    Things are different now.  No need for lists; kids mostly bring in groceries and I get bills paid by auto draft these days and the drugstore delivers the same thing every month.  there is a certain rhythm or  monotony to my existence these days.  I really can't say which existence was the most satisfying personally

  •  I do the list thing backwards. I don't feel (7+ / 0-)

    I should put folks on any list,
    but rather,
    I know I'm on the short list
    of many folks I know.

    Some folks I know,
    both here and in my face to face world,
    have me on their short list
    of favorite humans they love to love.

    Others have me on their short list
    of annoying slugs they simply can't stand.

    A few have me on a list of folks
    they tell themselves are okay,
    but they would never want to sit and have a beer with me.

    You may think I'm too wimpy,
    letting others put me on their lists,
    thinking about their lists,
    and not putting anyone
    on any list of my own.

    If that's the way you feel,
    maybe you don't want to have a beer with me.

    But you can still rec my comment,
    and give me a thoughtful reply.

  •  What I don't get (6+ / 0-)

    is why some people are so desperate to be on my good list.  I'm not influential or special in any meaningful way and yet there are those few who just insist that I should like them.  

    One of them continues to send me $$ every Christmas and Easter.  He is a former boss (and pastor) and hasn't been in my life for at least six years, yet he is still trying to buy my approval.  At first, I was uncomfortable with that, but I'm in no position to refuse his largess.  I just take it, thank him, and move on.

    There was also a time when I thought it was important for everyone to like me.  As I grow older, I've moved through the reluctant realization that that can't be to not giving a rat's a$$.  The number of people who like and respect me is so much greater than those who don't, that I just don't have time for the rest.

    Happy weekend everyone!

    -7.62, -7.28 "Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly." -Langston Hughes

    by luckylizard on Sat Jan 19, 2013 at 02:41:08 AM PST

  •  Lists... (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    broths, Noddy, weck, bigjacbigjacbigjac

    I generally don't keep lists, though I have a few mental ones I suppose. I have a difficulty with names, so if you've made it onto one of those mental lists you've really made an impression. There are a few on my "stay away from at all costs" list, including my first husband.  There are a few on my "I don't really trust you but I don't hate you" list. There are a few on my "You can keep my kids if I'm not around list" (which is really the highest list there is if you think about it). Everyone else kind of falls into the middle without being relegated to a 'list'. Those would be people I like, people I'm comfortable with, but don't really know all that well. Sometimes once I get to know them well they are bumped into one or the other list to either side. Only very rarely do they make it onto the "stay away from at all costs" list.

    It's a little warmer then yesterday. Need to get groceries, and repair the window. I'm also stiff and sore from my body being difficult the past few days. Repairing the window may wait until tomorrow.

    "Madness! Total and complete madness! This never would've happened if the humans hadn't started fighting one another!" Londo Mollari

    by FloridaSNMOM on Sat Jan 19, 2013 at 04:55:04 AM PST

  •  Good morning everyone! (4+ / 0-)

    The only people I really don't want to be around are my wing nut brother and SIL. They are so far over the edge that I see them as little as possible. Unfortunately he's my only sibling, but there are no laws that say you have to love your relatives.

    There are other people that I'm wary of. I watch what I say when I'm around them. Not a very comfortable feeling, but it is what it is.

    I love my friends, if I didn't I wouldn't want them in my life.

    Going out to dinner tonight.

    Have a good day.

    I am a work in progress. Still.

    by broths on Sat Jan 19, 2013 at 06:04:34 AM PST

  •  I keep to-do lists, but not people lists. (3+ / 0-)

    I do love the G & S reference!

    If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever. &

    by weck on Sat Jan 19, 2013 at 09:59:46 AM PST

    •  I don't intentionally (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      weck, bigjacbigjacbigjac

      keep people lists, they just sort of happen.  When I'm with someone, somewhere in the back of my mind, I'm going, "This person is mine, and I will do anything to take care of them." or "I like this person they go on my "like" list." or "I am wary of this person." and so on.  And next time I see them, it's "Ah! This person is on my "take care of list"!" or whatever.

      I write down to-do lists and wish-lists, but not people lists.

      All knowledge is worth having. Check out OctopodiCon to support steampunk learning and fun. Also, on DKos, check out the Itzl Alert Network.

      by Noddy on Sat Jan 19, 2013 at 03:40:49 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

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