You guys will have to forgive me because the following is a paraphrase of the item, although Abby’s response, I assure you, is word for word. I tried Googling this but came up empty, although I recall reading this when I was in graduate school (1978-81) and laughing my fool head off.
Dear Abby,
I don’t drive. I never have, so I rely on friends to drive me when I need to go somewhere. Mostly this has been my neighbor and her husband, who until recently had a nice big four-door sedan. But a month ago they bought a new two-door car, which means when they give me a ride I have to climb awkwardly over the folded-down front seat into the back. This is very hard on me, since I am not as young as I used to be. I have tried dropping all kinds of hints to these people that their choice of car was not a very good one as far as I am concerned, but everything I say seems to go right over their heads. Now I am so upset I don’t know what to do.
Signed,
Quietly aggravated.
Dear Aggravated,
Then stay home.