Skip to main content

Last night, Bill Maher returned from his winter break, with a final New Rule on what the Second Amendment types have been missing in the whole debate over guns: our other civil liberties.

And finally, New Rule: Someone has to tell America's gun nuts to stop wetting their Army surplus pants about losing the Second Amendment.  It's not your Second Amendment rights that are under attack; it's all the other ones.

It used to be that law enforcement couldn't search you without probable cause, but now we're becoming a quasi-police state where one minute you're home quietly reading 50 Shades of Grey, and suddenly there's a SWAT team in your living room waving guns.  And you're going, "No, no, Katt Williams lives next door!"

Now, last month, while no one was taking anyone's guns from anybody, the Senate voted overwhelmingly to reauthorize a program where they can collect data on any American citizen and hold onto it forever.  They can look at your e-mails, your texts, your Skypes, and not a peep out the crowd that's always bitching about what the framers intended.  In fact, the answer from almost everyone seems to be, "Oh what the hell, the airport screeners have already seen my ass anyway."

The Facebook generation, especially, doesn't seem to care that Big Brother knows everything about you — what books you read, what movies you watch, your account, your other account when you're feeling a little freaky and wanna meet the sort of woman your regular account wouldn't approve of.

Call me old school, but I don't want the feds Googling what I'm Googling.  It's bad enough when Netflix pries into my private life.  "You watched The Walking Dead and Zombieland.  You might also like this interview with John McCain."

(audience laughter)

I don't want the government doing that!  "You downloaded this article favoring the legalization of marijuana.  You might also like being incarcerated."

You know, they always say these programs are just to catch terrorists.  The next thing you know, they're using them to shut down the pot dispensaries.  And that place was right on my way home!  Now I gotta go to Valley Village!

Doesn't anyone care that this is the new normal?  I guess not, because gun nuts don't care, and neither do liberals.  When Bush did warrantless wiretapping, oh, he was wiping his ass with the Constitution.  But when Obama does it, oh well, whatever helps Jessica Chastain find bin Laden, we're good with that.

(smattering of audience applause)

Yeah, both parties compete mightily to appear to be the greater champion of our freedoms, but the only thing that still has bipartisan support in Washington is not giving a shit about privacy.

And when you talk to the NRA types, as I like to do down at my local moose lodge, they actually believe that what protects their rights isn't laws, or courts, it's that they have a gun.  They think that's what keeps the government from going too far.  Without guns, Obama would become an emperor and force everyone to gay marry, but he can't because a guy in Kentucky named Skeeter has a .22.

(audience applause)

Except that, you know, while you guys were buying guns to protect your other guns, sittin' up on the porch there, waitin' for Obama's Negro Army to come confiscate your weapons and go all Django Unchained on your ass — that's when we lost all the stuff in the Bill of Rights, about trials and juries and warrants.

You see, the Redcoats — they never wanted your gun.  They wanted your liberty.  And that's why the Founding Fathers said you could have the gun, dumbass!  And now the only right we have left is the guns, and left nothing left to use the guns to protect!  We're like a strip club with a million bouncers and no strippers!

Originally posted to BruinKid on Sat Jan 19, 2013 at 05:00 AM PST.

Also republished by Repeal or Amend the Second Amendment (RASA), Shut Down the NRA, and Electronic America: Progressives Film, music & Arts Group.

Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags


More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

skybluewater, Thumb, Lupin, Alumbrados, Ed in Montana, Doug in SF, Sylv, nota bene, dwellscho, filkertom, Odysseus, dalemac, Subterranean, glitterscale, Liberal Thinking, importer, davidinmaine, tiggers thotful spot, badger, Powered Grace, PeterHug, newjeffct, Shockwave, Fishgrease, simaramis, LynChi, liz, Pompatus, HootieMcBoob, kdub, Gary in NY, WI Deadhead, RFK Lives, Bob Friend, Matilda, hubcap, Creosote, Scott in NAZ, Gustogirl, cfm, bronte17, fugwb, wonkydonkey, because, ask, CalNM, cosmic debris, LickBush, roses, Fe, Iberian, Texknight, annan, TexDem, NYC Sophia, pat bunny, MA Liberal, Boppy, TiaRachel, Jujuree, DSC on the Plateau, RuralLiberal, samoashark, RebeccaG, outragedinSF, Curt Matlock, randallt, Hillbilly Dem, Mosquito Pilot, jcrit, TexasLefty, Emmy, vacantlook, Josiah Bartlett, sawgrass727, Gowrie Gal, historys mysteries, tle, ichibon, UFOH1, offred, Alice Venturi, run around, dewtx, ChemBob, YucatanMan, Dobber, marathon, Burned, ivorybill, Sandino, Cecile, Isara, rb608, Savvy813, wbr, Shotput8, Ginny in CO, Hannibal, peacestpete, littlewren, kkjohnson, Alan Arizona, RainyDay, Jim P, dedwords, third Party please, snazzzybird, BachFan, detroitmechworks, cybersaur, tonyahky, liberalconservative, kestrel9000, Son of a Cat, luckydog, blueoasis, triv33, gpoutney, middleagedhousewife, hlsmlane, onionjim, CA Nana, Clive all hat no horse Rodeo, fiddlingnero, shaharazade, SeekCa, AllanTBG, Aaa T Tudeattack, One Pissed Off Liberal, out of left field, dotsright, jessical, Loudoun County Dem, jhecht, FWIW, Debs2, Dartagnan, puakev, beth meacham, CTDemoFarmer, veinbulge2000, noofsh, FischFry, Unbozo, rantsposition, mbh1023, HCKAD, jayden, letsgetreal, cyncynical, Back In Blue, SeaTurtle, millwood, Bridge Master, jhop7, Rumarhazzit, uciguy30, skod, Puffin, Azubia, Counselor730, gizmo59, JaxDem, OleHippieChick, Sixty Something, Youffraita, dadadata, skohayes, lineatus, Sharon Wraight, tofumagoo, triplepoint, Jeff Y, envwq, temptxan, Horsefeathers, matching mole, sagansong, rhutcheson, lissablack, fayea, 207wickedgood, Old Woman, maggiejean, prettygirlxoxoxo, Bule Betawi, arendt, LinSea, bobatkinson, Michael James, Carol in San Antonio, notrouble, WakeUpNeo, DefendOurConstitution, geebeebee, elziax, Keith Pickering, winkk, CityLightsLover, stevenwag, Lacy LaPlante, 57andFemale, angel d, winsock, AkaEnragedGoddess, collardgreens, eXtina, Anima, ATFILLINOIS, NM Ray, Eddie L, gosoxataboy, ItsSimpleSimon, Hoopgreen, cai, addisnana, DrTerwilliker, ericlewis0, nosleep4u, Glass Navel, Actbriniel, annieli, Maximilien Robespierre, coquiero, spooks51, Bob Duck, implicate order, jardin32, cv lurking gf, asterkitty, mikejay611, Nicci August, lillyspad, SoCaliana, marleycat, zukesgirl64, Jasonhouse, thomask, muddy boots, chira2, Marihilda, Friendlystranger, salamanderempress, RockyMtnLib, ratcityreprobate, Miggles, DRo, Mentatmark, annecros, Southern Lib, jacey, MightyMoe, ahumbleopinion, Joieau, a2nite, Horace Boothroyd III, Forward is D not R, tucanaz, Nztorg, bewareofme, MartyM, Canines and Crocodiles, AverageJoe42, JustinBinFL, Glen The Plumber, Bisbonian, Robynhood too, madcitysailor, Captain Chaos, Lily O Lady, Chaddiwicker, jktcat, argomd, Eric Twocents, MrBigDaddy, Bud Fields, SanFernandoValleyMom, 84thProblem, Alhambra, leeleedee, parsonsbeach, Jollie Ollie Orange, howabout, Icicle68, Smoh, Demeter Rising, chicklet, skepticalcitizen, RUNDOWN, CA wildwoman

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site