During an appearance on [Fox Business News’] Lou Dobbs Tonight on Tuesday evening, Fox News psychiatric analyst Keith Ablow suggested that President Obama‘s philosophy of greater government power and more restrictive gun control results from his being “abandoned again and again” as a child.Alright, first things first—being a Fox News psychiatrist is a bit like being that little plastic brake on an old Big Wheel. It's mostly there for show, because that sucker ain't stopping nothing once you've picked up a little momentum. It was only there to let you spin, and it didn't even do that very well.
That aside, I think if your professional psychological opinion is that people looking to pass new laws as a result of the brutal random murder of 20 elementary school children are only doing it because of childhood abandonment issues, you maybe need to yourself see a better psychologist. I would suggest that most non-sociopaths out there can indeed look at yet another mass murder in yet another American school and think, perhaps, that maybe we ought to look for ways to keep that from happening; it seems to me that looking at the same thing and declaring that people looking to prevent it are the ones with psychological issues is the more Damn Effed Up opinion to have.
And that's me being nice, because my not-nice opinion is that Dr. Keith A'blow, here, maybe needs his Talking On Television license suspended until he can figure out why the rest of us have an issue with goddamn mass murderers walking around with assault rifles and a few hundred rounds of ammunition whenever they damn well feel like it.
Ablow told Dobbs that he believes the president “hijacked” the Newtown shootings “in order to advance his desire for gun control,” which would include “disempowering the individual” in favor of stricter government rules. The president’s views, Ablow said, come from a childhood that included being “abandoned” by people.How the hell do you "hijack" a mass murder to talk about ways to prevent mass murders? No, hijacking the conversation would be saying you think the murder of 20 kids means we should look more closely at whether Super Mario Brothers encourages unnecessary turtle-kicking. And how is it "disempowering the individual" to say that maybe certain individuals do not need to have ready access to semiautomatic assault rifles with 30-round clips? Yes, goddamn it, we're "disempowering" crazy people from going on killing sprees, because having one major killing spree every few months, this past year, has finally gotten to be kind of a big deal. So fine, you're damn right—Obama is all about "disempowering the individual" from walking into a random school and shooting children for fun. You've got us. It's all a big goddamn psychological plot, on our part, based on our inherent childhood insecurities about OH MY GOD I THINK YOU ARE THE MOST BATSHIT "PSYCHIATRIST" FOX NEWS COULD POSSIBLY HAVE COME UP WITH. WHAT KIND OF BULLSHIT "PSYCHIATRIST" WANDERS OUT ON TV TO OPINE ON THE CHILDHOOD ABANDONMENT ISSUES INVOLVED IN NOT WANTING PEOPLE SHOT? IF I HEAR THAT YOU THINK "TWILIGHT" IS AN INSIGHTFUL LOOK AT HOW ALL DEPRESSED TEEN GIRLS NEED TO GO OUT AND FIND THEMSELVES A NICE BROODING ASSHOLE, I AM GOING TO PERSONALLY DRIVE TO YOUR HOUSE AND SLAP YOU, YOU INCOMPETENT BOOB.
Where was I? Oh, right. We can't pass any new gun laws because that would "disempower" America's next generation of mass murderers. Good on you, Fox News. I see the departure of Glenn Beck hasn't diminished your crazy moron quota one bit.