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RNC Chairman or robot? You decide.
Just when you thought you've heard it all, RNC Chairman Reince Priebus comes up with this epic distortion of reality in a diary posted on RedState Friday.

More excerpts from a propaganda masterpiece below...

There is one clear, overriding lesson from November: we didn’t have enough voters. So, we have to find more supporters. We have to go places we haven’t been, and we have to invite new people to join us.
You Don't Say?
This is why intellectuals like Priebus are given such important positions with the party. They have an uncanny ability to read between the lines, catching details even those otherwise very sharp RedState constituents fail to detect — all Republicans have to do to solve their problems is hand out some invitations.

I'm sure women, Latinos, African-Americans, the LGBT Community, and everyone else previously spurned by the GOP are more than anxious to join a party led by bigoted white guys more interested in regulating female body parts than guns, suppressing voters and gerrymandering votes, racial profiling and self-deportation, and DOMA. Just remember, it's BYOB at a Grand Old Party.

But the good news is our principles are sound. Yes, some would like us to compromise our principles. But that would make us little more than watered-down Democrats, and it would be wrong for our party and for our country.
If by “sound” you mean the waves that bounce around in an echo chamber, I couln't agree more. So please, Mr. Priebus, do not, under any circumstances, compromise your principles. Democrats thank you for your continued resolve.

So we must stand by our timeless principles—and articulate them in ways that are modern, relevant to our time and relatable to the majority of voters.
Really? How do you plan on remarketing the failure of conservatism to make it more palatable for people? Are the victims of your policies going to miraculously develop Stockholm Syndrome? Because that's what it's going to take for your new propaganda campaign to successfully bullshit the number of people you need to win future elections.

Democrats are the party of big government. (The president’s inaugural address erased any lingering doubts about that.) Give Democrats a problem and they’ve got the same old solution: a federal bureaucracy. That’s not new. That’s not modern.
Big government blah blah blah...until a George W. Bush gets into office. Otherwise, we get typical Republican innovation in five easy steps:

     1) criticize Democrats
     2) wait for applause
     3) exit building before providing alternative ideas
     4) prevent Democrats from fixing Republican fuck-ups
     5) expect landside victories on election day

We live in an age of rapid, bottom-up, organic change. Yet our liberal-inspired government is slow, bloated, and out-of-date.
The same guy running an operation with a technology gap needing millions of dollars to fix is telling people what's “out-of-date,” because...
So we’re the party that offers something new. We’re the party of innovation, and innovation isn’t born from a government office building; it comes from garages and laboratories and dorm rooms. We are the party that says the individual can make better decisions than the bureaucrat.
That might be an easy sell to the dipshits at RedState who continuously vote Republican, but Priebus and his clown posse are in for a rude awakening once they hit the national stage with that little con job.

Growing the party to be more welcoming and more inclusive does not require abandoning our principles. It doesn’t require resorting to the cynical, divisive identity politics of the Democratic Party; it means embracing our common identity as freedom-loving Americans.
Project much? These assholes have alot of fucking nerve calling us divisive after having themselves spent every waking moment trying to partition the country into:

     ● the haves and have-nots
     ● whites and not-whites
     ● manly macho men and subservient women
     ● unassailable unborn fetuses and cast-off kids
     ● gun-slinging patriots and tyrants
     ● God-endorsed breeders and “perverts”
     ● citizens and illegals

In the next election, I don’t know who people will vote for. I don’t even know who will run. But I know this: We must be a Republican Party that people will want to join—a party that inspires again, an optimistic party that says “follow us to a brighter future,” a party of prosperity, success, and freedom.
I know who they'll vote for: Democrats. You're not fooling anybody but your own constituents, Reince.

Why? Because this is what the GOP really offers people:

     ● Support for the 1% only
     ● Bigotry
     ● Disenfranchisement
     ● Freedom from choice
     ● Gun Freedom, not freedom from guns
     ● Self-deportation

Even with positives like that, Reince still concludes...

That’s a party that can win.
See you at the voting booth, clown.


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Comment Preferences

  •  Priebus (6+ / 0-)

    Must be in a coma or something.  The current Republicon Party will never win with what they're presenting and have presented as their platform and beliefs.  They can sugar coat all they want, we know the truth and so do others.  By the way, I don't consider them conservatives but radical jerks.

    Never be afraid to voice your opinion and fight for it . Corporations aren't people, they're Republicans (Rev Al Sharpton 10/7/2011)

    by Rosalie907 on Sat Jan 26, 2013 at 12:05:29 AM PST

    •  Conservatives... (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      Youffraita, RUNDOWN

      It's just a term they like to apply to themselves, and as far as I'm concerned associating "conservatives" with "Republicans" is a two-for-the-price-of-one insult to them both.

      Where one goes, the other follows.

      Somebody has to do something, and it's just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us.
      ~ Jerry Garcia

      by DeadHead on Sat Jan 26, 2013 at 12:24:14 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  Oh, they can WIN all right: (7+ / 0-)

    but only by cheating.  Redistricting.  Changing the rules on Electoral College votes.  Programming voting machines to switch votes.  And like that.

    Sure, if they cheat they can win.

    But it won't be b/c the majority of voters agree with them.

    Nine out of ten polls show voters dislike or loathe GOP platforms.*
    *I made that up.

    To make the argument that the media has a left- or right-wing, or a liberal or a conservative bias, is like asking if the problem with Al-Qaeda is do they use too much oil in their hummus. Al Franken

    by Youffraita on Sat Jan 26, 2013 at 12:16:46 AM PST

  •  Some people will say anything, when the (7+ / 0-)

    day is long.

    That's a translation of a German saying. I'm not quite sure of the meaing but it fits. It's not quite as blunt as saying the person is full of hot air.

    The Republican party is offering status, exclusivity, self-importance and imagination as a substitute for reality. Apparently, that's what people, who are content with gilt by association, basking in reflected glory, can be sold. The American dream is an easy sell. That success requires work, not so much. That the accumulation of dollars is a sign of success is a fraud, a reality they are desperately engaged in denying. But then, failure has become their familiar. One man's failure is another's opportunity. That's certainly true when it comes to buying houses. Houses are now being sold for 50% less than six years ago.
    Which highlights something funny about percentages. What looks like 100% going up, is only 50% going down. Monetary wealth is an illusion. Percentages are inherently deceptive. Perhaps people like them because the profits are always more than the losses.

    We organize governments to deliver services and prevent abuse.

    by hannah on Sat Jan 26, 2013 at 12:31:31 AM PST

    •  'What looks like 100% going up, is only 50% going (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      hannah, ridemybike, a2nite


      In case a less 'mathematical' person didn't catch on to your abridged point...

      Increase by $50, then decrease by $50:

      Begin with $50
      Increase it by 100%, by adding $50
      You now have $100.
      The 100% was calculated based on the $50

      You have $100.
      Decrease it by 50%, by subtracting $50.
      You now have $50
      The 50% was calculated based on the $100

      ♥ Repeal the Capital Gains, Carried Interest & Dividends Entitlements bequeathed to 'more special' taxpayers.

      by in on Sat Jan 26, 2013 at 03:05:43 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  Hannah. "Gilt by association." (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      a2nite, DeadHead

      First I thought it was a typo, now I see that it's fucking brilliant!

      I can see Canada from my house. No, really, I can.

      by DuzT on Sat Jan 26, 2013 at 06:08:07 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  You'll be saying WOW every time! (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    DeadHead, skohayes, ridemybike, Naniboujou

  •  Monumental loss? Let's try that again (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    DeadHead, skohayes, DuzT, WSComn

    How is it that losing a winnable election gets you rehired?  I thought the GOP was the bastion of wily business managers.

    There is truth on all sides. The question is how much.

    by slothlax on Sat Jan 26, 2013 at 12:41:40 AM PST

    •  Oh, yes! (4+ / 0-)

      GOP is the bastion of Wily Coyote business managers!

      And all of them are VPs at Acme Company!

      To make the argument that the media has a left- or right-wing, or a liberal or a conservative bias, is like asking if the problem with Al-Qaeda is do they use too much oil in their hummus. Al Franken

      by Youffraita on Sat Jan 26, 2013 at 12:57:34 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  For the life of me... (6+ / 0-)

      This question has had me dumbfounded since the day I learned Priebus was a lock for a second term as chairman.

      Seriously. There has to be more to it. There were other candidates that might've been a bit more qualified for the diversification part of their "outreach" effort, at least.

      Yet Priebus never had any competition for a second run. Steele was ousted even after winning, for fucks sake.


      Somebody has to do something, and it's just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us.
      ~ Jerry Garcia

      by DeadHead on Sat Jan 26, 2013 at 12:59:44 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  Because the alternative challenger was even (8+ / 0-)

      less attractive to a majority of angry internal factions, than the current RNC Chairman Reince Priebus.  The GOP won't exactly declare he's the least disliked (amongst GOP 'deciderers')  of those who dared run for Chairman of the RNC.  But that's what they're willing to build upon.

      GOP just has to find more supporters in order not to fall apart as a credible party.  That plus take away supports who would otherwise vote for Democractic candidates, or concentrate their votes in ways to dilute their collective power.

      The supporters they want to suck into the 'big tent' GOP sure didn't like GOP platforms in the last go rounds.

      The biggest not so secret part of thte GOP plan is to not mention the platform items that were so repulsive to those they believe ought to be falling for their propoganda.  Expect 'micro' ads specifically targeting varoius subgroups, trying to shape Republican platform features, leaving out the ugly and emphasizing the not so ugly, so they can build some appeal to specific market segments.  Wnen so many segments share common social media, I suspect we'll have fun grabbing these and turning them on their heads.

      Even if we prevail over this apparently lame but perhaps very well funded attempt to rise from the ashes, that lingering feeling of being a Twilight Zone episode will persist for years and is pretty hard to shake.  We just can't let our great organized Democratic boots on the ground fade into the background as 2014 approaches.  He have to take people further forward and encourage thinking bid and doing the job of clearing the Geriatric Obstructionist Party from power.  As for the strange feeling they have that Obama intends on bliterating them...oh, come on, it's just to out-flank and neuter them politically as a good goal.

      When life gives you wingnuts, make wingnut butter!

      by antirove on Sat Jan 26, 2013 at 01:08:46 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  Like the "other" thankless GOP leadership job (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      this year - he ran unopposed.

      We can guess the reasons why.

      If not us ... who? If not here ... where? If not now ... when?

      by RUNDOWN on Sat Jan 26, 2013 at 07:47:56 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  Party of innovation? (12+ / 0-)

    Pure, unadulterated bullshit.  Especially this:

    We’re the party of innovation, and innovation isn’t born from a government office building; it comes from garages and laboratories and dorm rooms.
    You know what drives science, the arts, innovation?  Government funding. Always has, right from both the kings and democratic councils of Syracuse supporting Pythagoras through the Italian Renaissance through government funding for the Age of Exploration (Magellan, Sir Francis Drake, Captain Cook - all funded by governments), through the Crown subsidy of the Voyage of the Beagle, through the Manhattan Project, through the National Science Foundation.  Facebook and Microsoft may have started in garages or dorm rooms, but the science that made them possible nearly always started because of government support - public support, public funding, and a spirit of free inquiry that seems anathema to Republicans.

    I am sick to death of them talking about innovation when they stifle it at every turn.  They remind me of the Islamists - glad to have Twitter and technology to promulgate faith-based idiocy, while denying the freedom of inquiry and reality-based world of science.  What Preibus considers innovation is technology, and that's built on science - of which the GOP knows next to nothing.

    “If the misery of the poor be caused not by the laws of nature, but by our institutions, great is our sin.” Charles Darwin

    by ivorybill on Sat Jan 26, 2013 at 01:03:55 AM PST

  •  oh no it's John mcCain! (5+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    DeadHead, mwm341, skohayes, a2nite, RUNDOWN

    Our Principles are Sound!  What does that mean, they just need to stuff ballot boxes and steal elections?  You keep working on that, maybe Wyle E. Coyote can catch the roadrunner for you!

    "Kossacks are held to a higher standard. Like Hebrew National hot dogs." - blueaardvark

    by louisev on Sat Jan 26, 2013 at 01:06:23 AM PST

  •  Said no one ever (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
  •  this stunning lack of self-awareness has been (6+ / 0-)

    on display, since shortly after karl rove went bat shit crazy the night of nov. 6. the GOP has convinced itself that, "it's not the message, it's the delivery." um, no guys, it's definitely the message. but hey, that's ok, y'all keep thinking that way. in 2014 & 2016, as your party continues its shrinkage, the dozen or so of you left can get together at the nearest domino's pizza parlor, and plan your newest "delivery" scheme.

    •  It's the principles (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      a2nite, ItsSimpleSimon

      of the Party that message, delivery and every other form of deception flow from.

      They're swimming upstream when they have to go out of their way to conceal their true intentions with something superficially more palatable to prospective voters.

      Somebody has to do something, and it's just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us.
      ~ Jerry Garcia

      by DeadHead on Sat Jan 26, 2013 at 02:23:44 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  They could make a start by simply, actually, (6+ / 0-)

    following their own stated 'timeless principles'.

    Deficit hawkery, for instance, that actually EMBRACED policy that reduced debt, even when such policy comes from the other party.

    'Loving the troops' so much you actually work to keep them out of harm's way, whenever possible, and treat them like human beings.

    'Not putting bureaucrats between people and their doctors' by actually keeping the $%^$& out of making medical decisions, and leaving those to doctors and nurses and patients.

    'Family values' that didn't include 'diapering', dominatrix clubs, and rampant misogyny and sexual assaults.

    There are plenty of ways they could hold tightly to their professed values and still gain votes and voters, if they weren't hypocrites all the freaking time.

  •  Listen gang, (7+ / 0-)

    just because they don't appeal to the masses like they used to and are like a dinosaur stumbling around on 5th Avenue, don't write them off yet.
    We said the same things  in 2006 and 2008, then they came roaring back in 2010, not only retaking the House, but a couple of dozen governorships and state legislatures, and we all know how that worked out for us.
    Now the Republicans have 30 governor's seats. We're hearing rumblings about changing how electoral votes will be counted in blue states. We've seen that state legislatures passing Tea Party/ALEC bills can have a far more devastating and immediate effect on our lives than the few bills that manage to get to the President's desk. We need to pay attention to local and state races this time around, more than ever.
    Let's not get complacent.

    “We are not a nation that says ‘don’t ask, don’t tell.’ We are a nation that says ‘out of many, we are one.’” -Barack Obama

    by skohayes on Sat Jan 26, 2013 at 04:35:14 AM PST

  •  Really? (0+ / 0-)

    The GOP is the party of radical, racists, right-wing, and redneck goofy fucks.  Being the party of tough guys, as they seem to believe, it is odd that they chose such and uncharismatic person as their campaign leader.  Hell the DEMs don't respect Priebus so how would the goofy GOPers respect him?

  •  Priebus always sounds better in the (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    a2nite, RUNDOWN, DeadHead

    original German. Loses something in the translation. Keep that in mind, people, as you try to parse something useful out of his latest rant-o-matic.

    Figures don't lie, but liars do figure-Mark Twain

    by OregonOak on Sat Jan 26, 2013 at 05:46:04 AM PST

  •  I nearly choked on my morning tea laughing at (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    ridemybike, a2nite, RUNDOWN, DeadHead

    the clear delusion.....

  •  excellent bullets. (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    RUNDOWN, DeadHead

    these will be helpful the next time
    i hear "the democrats are the problem"

    Project much? These assholes have alot of fucking nerve calling us divisive after having themselves spent every waking moment trying to partition the country into:
         ● the haves and have-nots
         ● whites and not-whites
         ● manly macho men and subservient women
         ● unassailable unborn fetuses and cast-off kids
         ● gun-slinging patriots and tyrants
         ● God-endorsed breeders and “perverts”
         ● citizens and illegals
    tend to get pretty flustered when a winger gets me started.
    so thanks.

    (and... these are the only kind of excellent bullets)

    every adult is responsible for every child

    by ridemybike on Sat Jan 26, 2013 at 05:53:56 AM PST

  •  Inconceivable (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    LordMike, RUNDOWN, DeadHead

    "New" and "innovation" - those words do not mean what they seem to think they mean.

    Perhaps the same thing goes for "principles" and "like" and maybe even "popular."


    by chloris creator on Sat Jan 26, 2013 at 06:09:35 AM PST

  •  We are the party of innovation!!! (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    RUNDOWN, DeadHead

    And the RNC will invest in new, innovative technology and techniques to increase our vote share...

    Why, take a look at our newest project... the Votamatic 2000:

    This handy dandy device is able to detect which voters will vote Democrat and automatically purge them from the voter rolls without informing them.  While we've had such technology for a long time, the Votamatic 2000 is an advanced step forward--it can identify unaffiliated voters that are most likely to vote Democrat and purge them as well.  This is exciting new technology, and part of our extensive new voter outreach efforts... we will reach out to prevent people we don't like from voting!  


    by LordMike on Sat Jan 26, 2013 at 06:26:49 AM PST

  •  I'm not sure if it was him or someone (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    WSComn, RUNDOWN, Minnesota Deb, DeadHead

    else speaking at the same gathering but it was said that and I paraphrase, it's not our principles that was rejected in the last election, the Democrats won because they are better at getting out to the voters using technology.  What he didn't say was this was in spite of the fact that almost every republican run state did what ever they could to keep Democrats from being able to vote.

    They just don't accept that their ideas are repugnant to most of the people.  

    The religious fanatics didn't buy the republican party because it was virtuous, they bought it because it was for sale

    by nupstateny on Sat Jan 26, 2013 at 06:28:54 AM PST

  •  Best laugh of the day. Thank you! nt (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
  •  "Democrats are the party of big government" (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    RUNDOWN, DeadHead

    Yes, we are. This is because we have a BIG country and as a result BIG problems. It takes a BIG effort to work these problems through without sacrificing a single citizen. Even fellow citizens choosing to call themselves Republicans.

    Someone has to deal with the world at large and the country as a whole.  At least the Democrats have more than a few grownups in the mix and are willing to take on the problems that face us (regardless who created them). All our Republican neighbors are willing to do is obstruct until they can somehow get a throwback like a Nixon or a (shudder) GWB past the electorate and once again drive the country more than a few giant steps backward.

    "Please don't dominate the rap Jack, if you got nothing new to say." - Robert Hunter

    by WSComn on Sat Jan 26, 2013 at 06:40:14 AM PST

  •  Completely delusional. (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    RUNDOWN, Minnesota Deb, DeadHead

    Excellent job poking holes in this nonsensical garbage. The policies ARE the problem. And the GOP stubbornly, willfully refuses to admit it. Ever. The GOP factions are in a tug-of-war, each insisting their way is the ONLY way.

     But one thing I've noticed since embracing the Left: We are ALL on the same page. We really DO have "a big tent." We are black, white, brown, Asian, Native American, or all of the above. We are men and women, gay, straight, bi, or transgendered. We are married, single, "it's complicated," rich, middle-class, and poor. We practice many religions, or none at all. Doesn't matter. We support the SAME principles. And that is what the GOP cannot, will not, understand. Or accomplish within its own party.

  •  PT Barnum's 2010 Repub strategy worked well (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    a2nite, RUNDOWN, BadKitties, DeadHead

    There WAS a sucker born every minute. Most of the problems we're dealing with today are caused by the Great Red Wave of Insanity that idiot voters were somehow convinced to vote against their interests, and put hordes of maniacs into office and into control of their lives. Look at what's going on in Michigan right now - and just last year the people of Wisconsin were fooled again, and voted to keep Scotty Walker and his cabal in power.

    Never underestimate the power of blind hatred, and the willingness of people to be fooled, and to fool themselves by appealing to that hate, greed, and bigotry.

    "Teach a man to fish, he can feed himself for a life. Don’t feed fish." - Future President Paul Ryan

    by Fordmandalay on Sat Jan 26, 2013 at 07:01:44 AM PST

  •  Innovation? (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    RUNDOWN, Minnesota Deb, DeadHead

    If you count figuring out new ways to cheat on election day, yeah, they're very innovative.

    There is one clear, overriding lesson from November: we didn’t have enough voters.
    Incredible. They pay this guy how much to make these insightful pronouncements?
    Democrats are the party of big government.
    Funny how government (and borrowing and spending) always seem to expand under Republicans.

    I hope they keep Reince for a long time. He's doing a fine job.

    "A lie is not the other side of a story; it's just a lie."

    by happy camper on Sat Jan 26, 2013 at 07:02:20 AM PST

  •  Conservatism hasn't failed (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    a2nite, DeadHead

    The GOP have not represented Conservatism since 1981.

  •  New ideas: post-modern (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    racism, 3/5th of a vote and violence against women come to mind.

  •  We are the Party of innovation" (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:

    ..struck my funny-bone. Maybe in Teddy Roosevelt's day, but come on.

    Word-salad is one thing, but that phrase belongs in opposite-land. The very definition of the word "conservative" belies the statement.

    They re-elected this bozo?

    Why is it that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't want to #&@$ in the first place? - George Carlin

    by Anthony Page aka SecondComing on Sat Jan 26, 2013 at 10:12:28 AM PST

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