Skip to main content


I just do not like you.

It's hard to admit. Part of me is still trying to deny it. But it's true. Honestly, I can think about any single other person on this planet, and I only want to run around their ankles yipping at them happily and then nibble their hands with my cute little needle-sharp teeth. But somehow you are just not doing it for me.

Do you understand how bad this is? I am the most popular type of dog in the United States, because I'm never supposed to find a single thing wrong with people. Tens of thousands of years of evolution are working inside my adorable head trying to make me overlook your awfulness, so you can scratch my ear and give me a snausage. And then I just... I just look at that stupid, mean smirk on your face, and I want to take you down like prey, Discovery Channel-style. Really. Watching you open your yap on Fox News makes me feel like a failure.

Is it because of those hideous things you've said about Muslims? Or the way you made fun of those 9/11 widows? Or... God, I don't want to do the list. Everyone already knows the list. Here's the latest. You wrote it in a paint-by-numbers piece against gun control:

Expect to hear a lot about Republicans preferring "the gun lobby" to "children." (Which is evidently not at all like preferring the teachers lobby to children.)

I think socked feet are creatures that burrow inside shoes, but your words break my brain. Let's be clear: The teachers' lobby isn't trying to make it easier to shoot kids, right? You see the difference? Never mind. Of course you don't. Because you've spent more than a decade proving that you don't care how mindlessly sadistic you sound to everyone around you. People in the GOP are doing some soul-searching about how they can stop being "the stupid party." Tuning you out would be a good place to begin.

Okay, I'm going to go hide under the dresser and chew something to calm down. Normally I'm the least judgmental thing alive. But lady, you are garbage.

(Photo of Tara by NorwegianMarcus. Used under Creative Commons license; information here.)

NOTE: Please read more of my stuff, like how I'm a bizarre minor character in Tina Fey's book, or The Clarifications Of Pat Robertson - A Celebration. Or you can pay 99 cents and buy my bizarre love story about life in a fashion magazine, which is kinda sorta the true story of how I married my wife (Kindle/Nook).

Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags


More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site