I mean who is this guy and who does he think he's kidding with his milquetoast threats of mobs of armed intruders, government tyranny and civil war?
What a naive, unskilled chump. He needs guns for those threats???
Any real man will tell you all you need is a pen knife to fight off any armed intruders. Ninja skills, Bob. Ninja skills.
And the government? Puhleeze. What are they gonna do? Beauracretize me to death? And besides, I have NO FEAR of the government, everyone knows as soon as they even TRY to take away MY guns, all the cops and Federal Agents and Armed forces will rise up against Obama on my behalf. Those guys are my brothers in arms!! Aren't they YOURS??
And civil war? Against the Lie-beral pansies??? You need a GUN for that???? Yeesh. Wimp. You should join THEM! I will personally snap the neck of every lilly livered, limp wristed pansy liberal with my bare hands while eating venison jerky with my feet.
No. We all know what the real threat is.....I will make you wait for the details....Is the suspense killing you yet! Ha! That's another weapon I have!!! Suspense!!! I shall slay you all without a gun!!! But don't you DARE take my guns, because i DO NEED THEM For.....
THE LOOMING ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!!!!
You see, at this very moment, perched on the surface of a giant asteroid, travelling at INSANE velocities, is a civiliziation of zombies from ages past that was trapped in suspended animation for a million years. I have confirmed this from unnamed sources within the Homeland Secruity Apparatus (tm).
When the asteroid hits, we will get the double whammy!!! Collapse of civilization from the impact and THEN........ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Zombies don't care about your rights and freedoms and liberties. They just want your brains. And you can't kill them with your ninja skills, or suspense. No. No no no. You need to blow their heads off, and you need multiple guns ready and lots of ammo.
But that's not enough!! We must not only kill the AWB DEAD, we must PUSH for an EXPANSION of our gawd given zombie fighting liberty's!!!!
You chumps all concerned about your precious assault weapons don't know jack shit. Yeah, in a pinch assault weaposn are ok, but what we REALLY need is the GOOD stuff!! How the hell can I protect myself from zombies without my own tank? How about acid bombs and claymoors??? Those are good too!
But what we REALLY need is some tactical nukes. This looming zombie apocolypse threat is FINALLY the thing we need to get the government moving in the right direction in RESTORING our gawd given liberty's to bear arms, any arms necessary for me to protect myself and my family.
And by GAWD, if there's 6 billion zombies knokcing on MY door, you're damn straight I'm utilizing my tactical nuke!! And so should you!!
So don't let these liberal pussies deny you your god given liberty to a tactical nuke!!!
Just think of the zombie apocolypse!!! For Gawds sake people!!! ZOMBIE APOCOLYPSE!!!!!!!