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Wednesday + Haiku = Waikuhednesday!

The stupid party
Must stop being so stupid.
Flap those wings, piggie.

Japanese garden
Wasilla's quiet
Mama grizzly hibernates
Hand notes fade also
Freezing my ass off
Global warming is a hoax
But only 'til June
Open seat in Mass!
Who's your pick, Republicans?
Chirp, says the cricket
Louie Gohmert tries his hand at haiku
Terror babies are invading this country by the millions!

Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]

Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Note: If you can't say anything nice about someone, at least give 'em a dirty look.


By the Numbers:
Days 'til Valentine's Day: 8
Days 'til the next partial lunar eclipse: 78
President Obama's approval rating among Hispanics in August: 58%
President Obama's approval rating among Hispanics now: 70%
(Source: Gallup)
Number of minutes the cold virus lasts on skin: 5
Number of feet a person can stand away from a sick person and still catch a cold or the flu: 6
(Source: Details)
Percent chance that Sarah Palin won’t bother changing out of her sweatpants today: 65%


Mid-week Rapture Index: 185 (including 5 Global Turmoils and 1 pastor who's doomed herself to a greasy spoon in hell).  Soul Protection Factor 32 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.


Puppy Pic of the Day (via Kossack Bill Evans at Mariposa): Saved from an idiot..


Netroots nation San Jose logo
CHEERS to ideas that will change the world.  Just a quick reminder that there's a big Netroots Nation deadline coming up in two days.  If you have an idea for a panel or workshop that you want to propose and coordinate for this year's convention (June 20-23---San Jose), just click here for the guidelines and submission form.  You have 'til midnight Friday.  To avoid the embarrassment of duplication, please note that I've already sent in a proposal for a panel called "How to Avoid the Embarrassment of Duplication."  To avoid the embarrassment of it getting lost, I sent it in twice.

JEERS to the NEW IMPROVED Republican Party.  Yesterday Eric Cantor gave a major speech at the American Enterprise Institute, in which he slapped a fresh coat of whitewash on the GOP.  I will now demonstrate the difference.  First the old:

Obstruct, blame, shout, distort, coddle the rich, berate the poor, lie, cheat, and stand athwart history yelling "STOP!"
And now---ta daaa!!!---the NEW GOP:
Obstruct, blame, shout, distort, coddle the rich, berate the poor, lie, cheat, and stand athwart history yelling "STOP!"  :-D
Please: don’t crash Rience Priebus's servers signing up for your membership cards all at once.

CHEERS to the wisdom of the Baby Blue Cherub.  So the Karl Rove (aka country club) wing of the tattered Republican party is declaring war on the Jim DeMint (aka tea party) wing of the tattered Republican party.  Sure, they're tussling to get their preferred candidates in office so they can unleash their ideological krakens, but Atrios knows what this is really about:

The funny thing about various Republican groups fighting each other is that they're really just fighting over money.

Neither team needs to win elections to get rich.

Political consulting: nice work if you can get it.

Necco Wafers candy
The minutemen whipped these
at the redcoats' heads as they
fled from Concord back to Boston.
Most historians view it as the
birth of guerrilla warfare.
CHEERS to Massachusetts. The "Thank God Mitt's Gone" commonwealth officially became the sixth member of our illustrious union on February 6, 1788.  And I'd like to remind the right-wing knuckledraggers who bash the state for being a den of anything-goes liberalism that a) the Salem witch trials were conducted by ultra-conservatives, b) the freedoms you guys have to speak your evolution-denyin' minds are largely the result of a bunch of Massachusetts types who shed their blood to make it possible, c) the state has the lowest divorce rate in the country, d) it's the home of Romneycare, the genesis of Obamacare, and e) it's also the home of Necco Wafers, making it the cradle of all that is wholesome and civilized.  But we'll concede that Bay Staters---whom I never refer to as "Massholes" to their face unless I'm drunk---do act like fundies in one respect: they drive like they're all late to Second Coming.

P.S. The 2013 World Series-winning Red Sox exhibition games start in 15 days.  Yah huh!

JEERS to putting new lipstick on old hate.  I read an AP article over the weekend about how conservative evangelicals are "softening" their stance on homosexuality and GLBT issues.  It's comical: instead of singling us out for special condemnation, they're now lumping us in with adultery, divorce and pre-marital sex.  Well, golly, don’t that make us feel all warm 'n sinfully fuzzy!  But my favorite part of the article is this:

White piggy bank with red lipstick on its mouth and a tube of red lipstick standing upright next to it
How conservative churches have "evolved."
[Rev. Robert Jeffress of First Baptist Church in Dallas] said he is open to the possibility that sexual orientation has a genetic basis that cannot be cured or prayed away. ... But that hasn't altered his belief the Bible teaches that acting on homosexual desire is sinful, and he feels it is his responsibility to talk about it with his congregation.  "We cannot pick and choose what parts of God's word we are called to share," he said.
Yes!  You do!  Every day!  You pick and choose the parts of "God's word" you want to obey and which ones you want to ignore because, eh, times change.  Every Christian who claims the Bible is the literal word of God breaks one or more of His rules every single day, willfully and with nary a shrug.  And by the way, check out the record of Rev. Jeffress, whom the  AP thought would be a good spokesperson for an evolving church: he's a total dick.  Here endeth the lesson.  Point goes to the obnoxious agnostic blogger with the underwear on his head mingled of linen and woolen fibers bwoo ha haaaaaa!!!  (And, evidently, the jawbone of an ass.)


Five years ago in C&J: February 6, 2008

CHEERS to a day at the races.  Yesterday, Super Tuesday, Democratic voters went to the polls in twenty-something states and cast their votes for: Hillary, Obama, Obama, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Obama, Obama, Hillary, Obama, Hillary, Hillary, Obama, Obama, Hillary, Obama, Obama, Hillary, Obama, Obama, Hillary and Obama.  (One of those might be flipped around---the cat threw up on my Post-It notes.)  Conclusion: I don’t think we're in 2004 anymore, Toto.

CHEERS to the coming tsunami.  Judging by voter turnout from a month's worth of primaries, I think it's safe to say that Democrats are mad as hell and we're not going to take it anymore.  The Republicans, on the other hand, are---to be charitable---going through the motions.  Their side has no vision, no game plan, and no inspiration, just like our party had none four and eight years ago.  And the question will inevitably arise: have we restored our mojo because of Barack...or Hillary?  The answer is: Yes.  (With a strong assist from John Edwards and Howard Dean.)  My point being: with focus and a wee bit of unity, we're going to crush the fuckers in November.  Like a paper cup on the receiving end of a bowling ball.  [2/6/13 Update: Yup.]


And just one more…

CHEERS to the Gipper.  Happy 102nd birthday, Ronald Reagan.  He made some classic movies, including Kings Row, Knute Rockne: All American, The Killers (the 1964 version, in which he plays a mean sumbitch), and Santa Fe Trail.  Oh, and this:

Other than that, I have no recollection of him.

Have a willfully wacky Wednesday.  Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?


Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:

"Bill in Portland Maine will go down in history as a dictatorial, unacceptable American."
---Gloria Steinem


All things culinarily considered, I am…

19%681 votes
41%1457 votes
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