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Church of the Holy Shitters
For the past few years there has been something happening in the bowels of society. Up to now only a very select few have known about it. Up to now only a very select few have been working on it.  It is time for that to change.  It is time for the multitudes to be informed and influenced by this budding interintestinal movement.   It is time to be flushed with pride and proclaim our new way of life.  It is time to proclaim ourselves openly as Holy Shitters.  It is time to tell the world about our Shitty Way of LIfe and the promise it holds for mankind.  It is time to give a Shit!

There is a new religion emerging.   It is not like religions of the past.  It does not require faith.  It does not purport to put man above the animal world.  It does not require the supernatural.  It does not promise life everlasting.  It does not require one to look up but requires one to look down.

This is the religion of the Church of the Holy Shitters.  Our religion is not a passing fad or a form of cynicism or satire.   Our whole belief system is of a consistent pattern that promises an advanced lower reasoning, more human community and a new and liberated individual.  Its ultimate creation will be a new and enduring relationship of each of us to ourselves, to other living creatures and to nature.  Our religion makes sense as a holistic and consistent philosophy.  It is both necessary and desirable.

The Church of the Holy Shitters is a secular environmental religion, scientifically based, with a focus on the psychology of it all. Our ego is the culprit when it comes to dealing with climate change. We cannot save the planet. We can only save ourselves. Our current egotistical self-perception makes that prospect a dubious one at best. Meekness, humility and a realization that our shit does stink, guides us on our path to true sustainable living and climate equilibrium.

The word environment in the Church of the Holy Shitters is important.  Let’s first start with the meaning from the dictionary.


The circumstances or conditions that surround one; surroundings.
The totality of circumstances surrounding an organism or group of organisms, especially:
The combination of external physical conditions that affect and influence the growth, development, and survival of organisms.
The complex of social and cultural conditions affecting the nature of an individual or community.
There is nothing about the definition above that is not a part of the word’s definition in our Church.  The above gives us a basic understanding of what we mean by the term but additional detail is needed to understand its true meaning within our Church.  

First, our definition of environment not only includes the external physical conditions, but the internal physical conditions affecting and influencing the growth, development, and survival of an organism.  In particular, we consume food from which we extract our energy through the process of digestion and we expel what we can’t use in the form of feces and urine.  Our studies in this area have led to a new science called Shitology, the discovery of the Shitloop Cycle and establishment and practice of the Sacrament of Holy Shitting.  

Additionally, there are both internal and external mental aspects we attach to the term. Internally we concern ourselves with the process of assmosis and the subsequent bullshitization of our thoughts as a result.  We are cognizant of the ass-backward and ass-forward ways of thought.  Our studies in the area have led to Shitologists discovering the Thought Constipation Syndrome or (TCS).   Further study has led to the effective treatment of TCS using Thought Mitigating Enema (TME) treatment.  This treatment coupled with ass-forward counseling sessions have dramatically reduced the condition and prevented its reoccurrence.

Externally, we have the environ “mental” ego problems that serve to distort our position in our environment and tend to over inflate our importance in the grand scheme of things.  They cause us to be ashamed and deny our true animal nature.  They keep us from thinking about shit.  They lead us to believe our shit doesn’t stink.   They trick us into thinking we are in control. They lead us into believing and trusting that our technology will always come to the rescue to solve our man-made environmental problems.   They cause a sense of environmental entitlement within us. They lead to the disease we call consumer diarrhea which leads to the condition of super consumerism.  

Finally, there are interpersonal relationship aspects we attach to the term relating to the way we interact with each other in social settings and within our various  institutions.  Thus the Church has concerns and opinions about social environments, work environments and political environments in which we function.  

The practices and beliefs of our religion must be seen against a background of what has gone before.  They must be seen in light of the betrayal and disconnect of other religions in dealing with modern life.  They must be seen in light of the Corporate State and the way in which the State dominates, exploits, and ultimately destroys both nature and humans.  Our Church's sanity and rationality must be measured against the insanity of existing “reason”.  Its beliefs must be seen from the perspective that humans have lost control of the machinery of their society, and only new values, a new way of thinking and a new consciousness and culture can restore control.

Our religion is a movement to bring our thinking, our society, and our lives in harmony with the revolution of technology and science that has already taken place. It demands of us a new mind—a lower transcendent reason – able to plug our species into its rightful place in nature. It demands that each of us assume a new responsibility for nature and all its living creatures. It promises a life that is more liberated, healthier and more beautiful than anything mankind has known if we only have the courage and the meekness to seize that life.

You will never look at life the same after coming to know our Church and the Shitty way of Life it offers.

The Church of the Holy Shitters will post articles on our holy S.H.I.T. day ( So Happy It's Thursday)  

Today's article 2/7/13:  Mission Possible - Positive Climate Change.  

Next Thursday 2/14/13:  The Reluctance to Change vs the Willingness to Change

Hoping to add some humor, provoke thought, spark debate,  deepen understanding, and shed some light on the fecal side.  
Remember:  "If we really want to straighten out all this crap we really need to think about shit." ( Shitbit by Poop John the First of the Church of the Holy Shitters)

Originally posted to Holy $h*tters on Thu Feb 07, 2013 at 05:28 AM PST.

Also republished by DK GreenRoots and Climate Hawks.

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Comment Preferences

  •  Tip Jar (6+ / 0-)

    If we really want to straighten out all this crap we really need to think about shit - Holy Shit.

    by John Crapper on Thu Feb 07, 2013 at 05:28:56 AM PST

  •  No (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    ROGNM, WakeUpNeo, Bronx59

    This one doesn't work for me.  

    Political compass: -8.75 / -4.72

    by Mark Mywurtz on Thu Feb 07, 2013 at 05:57:17 AM PST

  •  * (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Lost and Found

    Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? . . . and respect the dignity of every human being.

    by Wee Mama on Thu Feb 07, 2013 at 06:14:27 AM PST

    •  The greatest respect we can give each other (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      is to respect and care for the home we all share and depend on.  

      If we really want to straighten out all this crap we really need to think about shit - Holy Shit.

      by John Crapper on Thu Feb 07, 2013 at 06:52:16 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  You have chosen one of the highest goals for (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        John Crapper

        your focus, but the name and frame you chose to get the word out almost guarantee you will have little impact. If you seriously want to make a difference perhaps more thought will suggest a more effective one to you.

        Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? . . . and respect the dignity of every human being.

        by Wee Mama on Thu Feb 07, 2013 at 08:14:32 AM PST

        [ Parent ]

        •  There has been much thought put into this (0+ / 0-)

          approach.  With over 100 already written blog posts and a book in process it's well thought out.  I know my message is edgy.  I'm attempting to capture the passions people have in connection with their spiritual religions and encourage them to apply those same passions to our environmental problems.  These are the affirmations of our Church.  

          I affirm that the Church of the Holy Shitters is strictly a physical religion concerned with the physical relationships of humans to their environment.

          I affirm that a spiritual religion is a very personal and private relationship between an individual and their god. I will respect that relationship and refrain from any attempt to convert others to my god or spiritual religion.


          If we really want to straighten out all this crap we really need to think about shit - Holy Shit.

          by John Crapper on Thu Feb 07, 2013 at 10:58:46 AM PST

          [ Parent ]

  •  Religion and faith are probably not good emblems (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    John Crapper

    for the Climate War Effort. If we had more faith in Science and less in the supernatural, we probably wouldn't be in this mess.

    The Class, Terror and Climate Wars are indivisible and the short-term outcome will affect the planet for centuries. -WiA "When you triangulate everything, you can't even roll downhill..." - PhilJD

    by Words In Action on Thu Feb 07, 2013 at 07:41:16 AM PST

    •  I've put a lot of thought into this whole (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:

      idea having already written over 100 blog entries and in the editing stage on a book.  This religion is a totally natural one, scientifically based and looking at things from the bottom up, fecal end.  It does not require faith except in that of the human spirit to rise to the occasion and do what is necessary to survive.

      I have a problem with religion in so much as it tends to cause an overinflation of a person's ego and allows them to think they are in control of nature.

      I have a problem with science as it allows us to think that our technology and research will always allow us to find a way to continue to live in our present way.  

      I know my approach is edgy and unique and may not appeal to some.  But crap, nothing else is working.  

      If we really want to straighten out all this crap we really need to think about shit - Holy Shit.

      by John Crapper on Thu Feb 07, 2013 at 11:07:59 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  For breaking wind energy story, (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    citisven, John Crapper

    I guess this is the place.

  •  congrats on the launch, John (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    John Crapper, A Siegel, WarrenS

    reading this here, I do have to say in all honesty — and I know you appreciate honesty — your shit is going to be a tough sell on Daily Kos. It's hard enough to have so much shit flung at you, but it's even harder to have it put in a religious context, where one has to imagine oneself being a devoted follower of something rather unpleasant. I know it's meant as a more abstract concept, but your delivery is so literal that it's hard to not feel shitty reading it.

    The thing is, all the things you're talking about are really powerful and meaningful, and my feeling is you're going to lose a lot of potential readers who simply can't make it past the fecal symbolism. Even I, who can usually stomach a lot of archetypes and metaphors, have to hold my nose to slog through the shit parts. It feels like a chore, and I only do it because I've taken the time to understand where you're coming from and I know I'll eventually get to the tasty treats you so generously provide in your musings.

    So here's what I hope will come across as constructive criticism: Why not go easy on the fecal matter when writing over here, instead focusing on the parts that are a little easier to digest, with a little summary of your theology and a link to your website at some point in your diary, perhaps at the end. That way you give people the opportunity to learn about the message you're trying to convey first before making them decide whether they want to subscribe to a more difficult concept that takes a while to make friends with.

    What I'm saying is give me the "love thy neighbor" stuff first, so that I can then decide whether I want to come to Jesus. Of course, it's all up to you, but if your goal is to reach a lot of people, this might be a strategy worth considering.

    Can't make it to Washington D.C. on 2/17? Check for a Forward on Climate Solidarity Rally near you!

    by citisven on Thu Feb 07, 2013 at 11:05:39 AM PST

    •  Great advice. I've actually struggled with this (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      citisven, A Siegel, WarrenS

      initial launch approach for quite a while.  Your comments are well grounded and thoughtful.  I appreciate all you said.

      After much deliberation I decided on really putting out the idea really hard in the beginning and let it hit the fan so to speak.   Then backfill with softer really substantive and incremental posts explaining my perspective.  
      I'm just not a stealth kind of guy!

      I'm actually pleased to hear you had an unsettled feeling reading this.  I had an unsettled feeling posting it believe me.  

      My message is different, edgy, provocative and unsettling.  There is no way around it.  

      I'll be giving what you said a lot of thought.  I value your judgement and opinion.  I'll send a PM if you don't mind.  

      If we really want to straighten out all this crap we really need to think about shit - Holy Shit.

      by John Crapper on Thu Feb 07, 2013 at 11:34:10 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  I believe it was... (0+ / 0-)

    ...the science-fiction writer Brian Aldiss who defined civilization as "the distance man puts between himself and his waste."

    In an age of global heating and the discovery that there is no "away" where we can throw our trash, Aldiss' apothegm suggests that we need a new definition of civilization in which humanity transforms its relationship to its waste — which is, it seems, a big part of what you're discussing here.

    Freedom isn't "on the march." Freedom dances.

    by WarrenS on Thu Feb 07, 2013 at 10:06:49 PM PST

  •  You, Mr Crapper, are a genius! (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    John Crapper

    Your approach is holistic, inclusive, and funny. Yes, people are offended by shit - even their own shit! So effing what?

    Vonnegut once wrote something to the effect that he stopped swearing, not because it was bad, but because it gave some people an excuse to ignore what was said. I think it was Kilgore Trout in Breakfast of Champions( hmmm, or was it?) I love Kurt, but have always felt that if someone stopped listening to me because I swore, they probably wouldn't have accepted anything as radical as what I was proposing.

    Of course, you are preaching to the choir with me. I have never understood why humans try to deny their animal nature. We are animals. To deny this fact, is to deny our nature. Yet, deny it we do. Frankly, the more I know animals, the less I like humans. But even humans are mammals, and deserve the same respect we would give to any other mammal. In particular, we deserve to be told, in bold and graphic terms, the error of our shitty ways. We can do some much more good with all the shit we have.

    Thanks for trying to open our eyes to what is right under our noses.

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