Church of the Holy Shitters
For the past few years there has been something happening in the bowels of society. Up to now only a very select few have known about it. Up to now only a very select few have been working on it. It is time for that to change. It is time for the multitudes to be informed and influenced by this budding interintestinal movement. It is time to be flushed with pride and proclaim our new way of life. It is time to proclaim ourselves openly as Holy Shitters. It is time to tell the world about our Shitty Way of LIfe and the promise it holds for mankind. It is time to give a Shit!
There is a new religion emerging. It is not like religions of the past. It does not require faith. It does not purport to put man above the animal world. It does not require the supernatural. It does not promise life everlasting. It does not require one to look up but requires one to look down.
This is the religion of the Church of the Holy Shitters. Our religion is not a passing fad or a form of cynicism or satire. Our whole belief system is of a consistent pattern that promises an advanced lower reasoning, more human community and a new and liberated individual. Its ultimate creation will be a new and enduring relationship of each of us to ourselves, to other living creatures and to nature. Our religion makes sense as a holistic and consistent philosophy. It is both necessary and desirable.
The Church of the Holy Shitters is a secular environmental religion, scientifically based, with a focus on the psychology of it all. Our ego is the culprit when it comes to dealing with climate change. We cannot save the planet. We can only save ourselves. Our current egotistical self-perception makes that prospect a dubious one at best. Meekness, humility and a realization that our shit does stink, guides us on our path to true sustainable living and climate equilibrium.
The word environment in the Church of the Holy Shitters is important. Let’s first start with the meaning from the dictionary.
Environment:
The circumstances or conditions that surround one; surroundings.
The totality of circumstances surrounding an organism or group of organisms, especially:
The combination of external physical conditions that affect and influence the growth, development, and survival of organisms.
The complex of social and cultural conditions affecting the nature of an individual or community.
There is nothing about the definition above that is not a part of the word’s definition in our Church. The above gives us a basic understanding of what we mean by the term but additional detail is needed to understand its true meaning within our Church.
First, our definition of environment not only includes the external physical conditions, but the internal physical conditions affecting and influencing the growth, development, and survival of an organism. In particular, we consume food from which we extract our energy through the process of digestion and we expel what we can’t use in the form of feces and urine. Our studies in this area have led to a new science called Shitology, the discovery of the Shitloop Cycle and establishment and practice of the Sacrament of Holy Shitting.
Additionally, there are both internal and external mental aspects we attach to the term. Internally we concern ourselves with the process of assmosis and the subsequent bullshitization of our thoughts as a result. We are cognizant of the ass-backward and ass-forward ways of thought. Our studies in the area have led to Shitologists discovering the Thought Constipation Syndrome or (TCS). Further study has led to the effective treatment of TCS using Thought Mitigating Enema (TME) treatment. This treatment coupled with ass-forward counseling sessions have dramatically reduced the condition and prevented its reoccurrence.
Externally, we have the environ “mental” ego problems that serve to distort our position in our environment and tend to over inflate our importance in the grand scheme of things. They cause us to be ashamed and deny our true animal nature. They keep us from thinking about shit. They lead us to believe our shit doesn’t stink. They trick us into thinking we are in control. They lead us into believing and trusting that our technology will always come to the rescue to solve our man-made environmental problems. They cause a sense of environmental entitlement within us. They lead to the disease we call consumer diarrhea which leads to the condition of super consumerism.
Finally, there are interpersonal relationship aspects we attach to the term relating to the way we interact with each other in social settings and within our various institutions. Thus the Church has concerns and opinions about social environments, work environments and political environments in which we function.
The practices and beliefs of our religion must be seen against a background of what has gone before. They must be seen in light of the betrayal and disconnect of other religions in dealing with modern life. They must be seen in light of the Corporate State and the way in which the State dominates, exploits, and ultimately destroys both nature and humans. Our Church's sanity and rationality must be measured against the insanity of existing “reason”. Its beliefs must be seen from the perspective that humans have lost control of the machinery of their society, and only new values, a new way of thinking and a new consciousness and culture can restore control.
Our religion is a movement to bring our thinking, our society, and our lives in harmony with the revolution of technology and science that has already taken place. It demands of us a new mind—a lower transcendent reason – able to plug our species into its rightful place in nature. It demands that each of us assume a new responsibility for nature and all its living creatures. It promises a life that is more liberated, healthier and more beautiful than anything mankind has known if we only have the courage and the meekness to seize that life.
You will never look at life the same after coming to know our Church and the Shitty way of Life it offers.
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The Church of the Holy Shitters will post articles on our holy S.H.I.T. day ( So Happy It's Thursday)
Today's article 2/7/13: Mission Possible - Positive Climate Change.
Next Thursday 2/14/13: The Reluctance to Change vs the Willingness to Change
Hoping to add some humor, provoke thought, spark debate, deepen understanding, and shed some light on the fecal side.
Remember: "If we really want to straighten out all this crap we really need to think about shit." ( Shitbit by Poop John the First of the Church of the Holy Shitters)