Skip to main content

I'm staking my claim before David Letterman inevitably does this bit.  I give you the top 10 reasons why Pope Benedict the whatevereth (aka, Joe Ratzinger) is resigning the papacy.  

10.  Tried to bet the Vatican in Monte Carlo.

9.  Richard Dawkins double-dog-dared him.

8.  Converting to Scientology.

7.  Flowers dying in his presence upset the staff.

6.  The fifth dead hooker was the last straw for his Cardinals.

5.  Plays Emperor Palpatine in flashback scenes of the new Star Wars movie.

4.  White robes and vivisection don't mix.

3.  Came out as Nosferatu.

2.  Dick Cheney is calling in the debt on his soul.

And the number 1 reason why Pope Benedict the Whatevereth is resigning the Papacy...

1.  Penn State had an opening in the administration.

12:39 PM PT: More reasons...

11.  Forming a barbershop quartet with R. Kelly, Roman Polanski, and Silvio Berlusconi.

12.  Launching a line of turbo-charged paper shredders.

13.  Hired a guy named Moe Lester to head the Church's response to abuse scandals.

12:52 PM PT: 14.  To keep his illegitimate children away from priests.

1:34 PM PT: 15.  Giggity.

Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags


More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site