In it's ongoing effort to prevent needless acts of planned parenthood, use of contraception or addictive hormonal drugs, cries for equality and equal pay, and other acts of violence by women against the proud, conservative citizens of North Carolina...they courageously acted. No more NIPPLES flaunted in the faces of (leering, drooling, trans-vaginal wanding) conservative North Carolinians!
Yessireebob, unfazed by the knowledge that if they ban nipples, only criminals will have them, the new GOP majority House and Republican Governor appear to be on track to dramatically reduce nipple violence in North Carolina. The new Goobernor say's if the Senate also passes this legislation, he'll gladly sign it AND authorize special funding to buy barco-loungers to be placed in the frozen foods section of the Harris Teeter so tea-party volunteers and off-duty legislators can watch for concealed carry Nipples!
There's more...believe it or not.....
Some say...and you know who THEY are...this legislation is unconstitutional because it appears to be directed at female nipples only. Well, I'm sure that can be corrected by the NC GOP controlled Senate before passage. Courageous NC Republicans have already amended the Constitution to ensure dangerous gay people (prob'ly have Nipples also) don't have any civil rights. Nipples are dangerous, whether male, female, fully automatic, semi-automatic or single-shot. (Double-barreled nipples are very popular here...gasp!)
Please feel free to comment below with your own stories about perverted or violent nipple incidents in support of this badly needed legislation. You can read more at: http://abclocal.go.com/...
In related news, NC's GOP is also planning to dramatically reduce the amount and term of unemployment benefit payments...thereby making sure NC loses federal unemployment funding and that NC Conservatives reach their goal of screwing everyone as hard and often as they can...even if their nipples don't show.
OTOH, the weather here is generally pretty temperate and the BBQ is OK, and we have highly paid college basketball coaches who make sure their players get good grades even if they can't read. And, compared to Texas, we have mountains and farting is not yet at the collegiate competition level.