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OMG! Marco Rubio Drinks Water!

GOPUSA is fighting back.
Here is the mind bending spin that Marco's water lunge might actually have been a good thing.

The introductory paragraph begins.....

A parched Marco Rubio's awkward reach for a drink of Poland Spring water during his Republican rebuttal to the president's State of the Union address Tuesday night became an instant online sensation. Predictably, the video clips, jokes and Twitter hashtags that have become so familiar in such situations took the social Internet by storm.
After the orange bubbling fountain, the GOP finds a positive for Rubio's famous thirst.

In a frame reminiscent of the glass half full or half empty, here's how Rubio's gulp was a good thing.

Using sentiment analysis, a process by which data experts attempt to mine the Internet to determine how users feel about someone or something, we can infer that the sip is proving to be both a positive and a negative for Rubio -- positive in that far more people are talking about him than were before, negative in that much of that conversation is finding fault.
..... And the fault (if you didn't buy the "attention can be positive" spin) lies not in Marco...... but in those that talk about him.
He got more air time because of it. It heightens people's awareness of him and led people to talk about him," Rosner said. "A greater percentage of people were making fun of him, and that caused his sentiment to go down. But, because he can engage in the conversation, here's an opportunity for him to engage in the chatter and change the sentiment. To some extent, this is people being petty. They're not saying anything super-insightful about his policies, or his acumen or his intelligence, they're just making fun of something that he did.
Imagine that you work for GOPUSA and you've  got the assignment to clean up after Marco Rubio's big gulp.  It would be impossible to not write copy for Comedy Central.  
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Comment Preferences

  •  And Bobby Jindal's "Kenneth the Page" imitation (9+ / 0-)

    ... got people talking about him, too! It's all working out for the GOP young guns!

  •  So Larry Craig's toe tap routine (4+ / 0-)

    was a good thing because it got him a one on one with barbara walters, right?

  •  It is a "fault" that he got dry mouth (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    annecros, Rockydog

    while making a speech and needed a drink of water? The whole thing is slightly comical, but IMO in no way diminishes Rubio. I think we should be discussing the substance of the man (or lack thereof) and knock it off with the childish snickering over his supposed lapse. All this incident proved is that he is human, and that some on the left are just as shallow as Sarah Palin or Donald Trump.

  •  Freepers LIVE thread reaction (4+ / 0-)

    to Rico Suave's twitchy, sweaty delivery and water lunge:

    Good grief, what's going on with Marco Rubio? He seems like a nervous wreck... Wiping his mouth many times and frantically grabbing for that water bottle... Yikes. Perhaps he has a cold...
    OMG did you see that water thing? That looked really bad. OMG
    Rubio has some mental problem with his mouth? He lost it when he grabbed that stupid bottle of water.
    You know, they hate liberal lukewarm RINOs more than the hate anyone. The GOP is a crowd of doofuses and this was a dooofus moment.

    They have no footing - including Rubio and definitely including Rubio.

    If the GOP hasn’t figured out tha twith their RINOs they can’t get over a moment like this then why are they in charge of the only opposition?

    It’s their fault all of this is happening.

    Rubio stands for nothing conservative yet he’s the favorite? Who is he? He has no debate skills. He can talk talk talk, so what?

    He taped the SOTU response just before going on. Why did he so it twice, wearing himself out to the point he couldn’t even be properly prepared? What was more important than being prepared for the SOTU rebuttal?

    That he tape it in SPANISH first.

    He is a first class panderer and he is our favorite. Favorite what? Replacement for McCain?

    Is there any way we can get serious?

    lol... not sure if serious:
    Rubio came off looking good as it was evident he was not using a TelePrompter and the strategic placement of the water bottle was purposeful as to draw attention away from the Obama State of the Union address.
  •  the 'Not Ready for Prime-Time Players', featuring. (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    crystal eyes, kitebro, eXtina

    Michelle Bachman, Bobby Jindal, and tonight's special guest:

    ummm,,, was that Rubio or his teenaged son?

    draw a window on the wall to remind you of the silkrain that makes things grow - Yoko Ono

    by quinn on Thu Feb 14, 2013 at 09:57:15 AM PST

  •  OK, Rubio, your policies are stupid and suck (0+ / 0-)

    'The government can't control the weather'? Substance!

    "I'm sculpting now. Landscapes mostly." ~ Yogi Bear

    by eXtina on Thu Feb 14, 2013 at 10:04:16 AM PST

  •  Obama gives great speeches. (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Free Jazz at High Noon

    Hitler gave great speeches (From my SIL)
    So Obama = Hitler.

    Rubio is just being not-Hitler by speaking goofy.

    guns are fun v. hey buddy, watch what you are doing -- which side are you on?

    by 88kathy on Thu Feb 14, 2013 at 10:08:44 AM PST

  •  Candy Coater (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    bleeding blue, crystal eyes

    I don't know why they just don't create a profession with a real descriptor of it for the people who take a paycheck for candy coating shit.

    In a Press conference  a reporter asked :
    GOPUsa is  offering an unusually high number of Candy Coater  jobs as it positions itself for the 2014 election, why is that?  

    Spokesman Clean Anus commented " In the 40 years I've worked in politics on the GOP side, I have  never seen this much backed up shit to clean up. It's an impossible job, so we just decided we are just going to hire Candy Coaters."

    He also commented "We aren't specifically looking for GOP Candy Coaters. We need wordsmiths. Good ones. Real Coaters. We realize we may have to abstain from having them take the usual purity test. There's just too much shit to cover "

    Anus was seen asking people for spare xanax after his press conference.  

  •  They're GLAD It Happened..... (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    crystal eyes, eXtina

    It was a good thing.  They wanted it this way.  They wanted what he said to be overshadowed by his flop sweat, eyeballs afraid to leave the teleprompter & a stilted pack of lies.

    They especially liked the part where he talked about his mother being on Medicare after he voted for Paul Ryan's plan to gut Medicare.

    And....then there was that section about still living in a middle class neighborhood when he is actually trying to sell one of his three homes in Florida for $675,000.00.  Nothing speaks middle class more than that.

    It's all good.  The background, the lighting, the sweat, the water grab, the cheesy smile at the end.  All good.  

  •  if Rubio started a RW blog, would he call it (0+ / 0-)

    DailyCo?

    What we call god is merely a living creature with superior technology & understanding. If their fragile egos demand prayer, they lose that superiority.

    by agnostic on Thu Feb 14, 2013 at 10:29:03 AM PST

  •  ...in a robot voice... (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    crystal eyes

    must

    keep

    eye

    contact

    on

    tele

    prompter

    at

    all

    times.

  •  It's Wierd (0+ / 0-)

    Why was he so nervous?  I've never seen him that nervous delivering big speeches in front of large crowds before.  I wouldn't have expected him to be that nervous in front of television cameras.  He's certainly seen them before.  It seems to me there's some reason that we don't know about.

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