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Once again, the Wreck List is crowned by a rhapsody of shrillogic, Conspiracy Theory innuendo, and inflamed-adrenal-gland screaming that the process of Republican budget terrorism we've all watched unfold for years never happened and was in fact all orchestrated by the diabolical puppetmaster Barack Obama - who is actually Paul Ryan in blackface.  There's only one minor problem with blaming the President for sequestration, other than all the others: Congress makes the budgets under the US Constitution, and the sequester was only proposed as a way out of GOP threats to default on US debt.  But I'm so glad to know that Daily Kos and the Republican Party can come together in such a bipartisan fashion to tar Barack Obama with Republican-authored calamities, because surely that will benefit progressive causes.  Somehow, in some alternate universe.

Let's just follow the typical train-wreck of Obama Derangement, as it's devolved since he took office:

1.  It's Obama's fault that Republicans took the House of Representatives in 2010, because...he failed to motivate us sufficiently to stop them.  Nothing to do with SCOTUS declaring it free speech to buy elections, or mid-term exhaustion, or highly motivated Republicans - nope, it was him.  All him.  His failures are his fault, and our failures are...his fault.  Because Presidents are Kings, prophets, and Daddies who must take responsibility for us as well as their own jobs.  Constitution shmonstitution, democracy shmocracy.  If only he had proposed legislation progressive enough to not pass, as opposed to the vast litany of accomplishments that did, then we would have won!  His fault!  

2.  It's Obama's fault that Republicans took control of state legislatures, and also his fault that they used that power to gerrymander themselves into a fortress majority in the House contrary to the most basic principles of representative governance.  Don't ask me why or how it's his fault - don't know, don't care.  I'm on a roll.  It just is.  It's his fault Republicans are evil and crooked, and his fault whenever they inflict some fresh hell on us without his having both anticipated it miles in advance and completely defused it without our having to lift a finger.  But don't ever imply "11 dimensional chess" going on when he actually does anticipate and defuse it.  He's wrong even when he's right.  When Republicans are defeated, it was a total coincidence contrary to his diabolical intentions.  When they are not defeated, his nefarious schemes succeeded!  Up is down, slavery is freedom.  Oceania has always been at war with Eastasia.

3.  It's Obama's fault the Republicans have used this ill-gotten power to hold the United States hostage through Congressional budgetary authority.  If he were really on our side, he would put on a golden crown of leaves and proclaim a progressive budget via imperial edict.  You say this not only can't happen, but obviously should not be something we want?  SHUT UP!  Betrayer!  Very Serious People are talking, and we say that Obama would be a dictator if he had a conscience.  Except when the subject is foreign policy, and then he's Dick Cheney.  Doublethink is bliss, isn't it?  It's so much fun to hate Barack O-Goldstein.  Hey, there's another point of bipartisan cooperation with the GOP!  

4.  It's Obama's fault that Republicans threatened to default on US debt, which would have been economically apocalyptic.  He should have called their bluff - because that's what you do with hostage-takers: Call their bluff.  Straight out of the hostage situation police handbook, right?  "Ha!  There's no way you psychotic, murdering, torturing Republicans are twisted enough to go through with a debt default!  I dare ya!  I double-dog-dare ya!  Kiss my ass!  Yeeeeeeee-hawwr!"  Instead he compromised by agreeing to the sequester.  That's right, com-pro-mised.  Compromised!!1!  CCCCCOOOOOMMMMPPPPPRRRRSNARL.  Why the fuck would he do something so crazy as to offer a compromise with the Legislative branch of government that controls the budget process under the Constitution?  How dare he do something so governmental and practical.  Doesn't he have, like, nuclear launch codes or something?  

5.  And, of course, it's Obama's fault that Republicans preferred to go through with sequestration than offer any compromises on their own part.  The fact that the American people overwhelmingly and correctly blame the GOP for the sequester doesn't matter - in fact, it pisses me off!  Don't they realize that it (meaning everything) is Obama's fault??!??!?  Don't they realize that there are precious bodily fluids at stake?!?!?!  The fact that what Republicans were demanding from the administration was far more egregious doesn't mean anything doesn't fit the narrative I've chosen, so shut up.

6.  But, of course, if Obama agreed to Republican budget demands, I'd blame him for that.  And if he didn't agree to their demands or to sequestration and instead we had no budget, I'd blame him for that.  I blame him for all possible actions and all possible outcomes, real or imagined, because I am an inverse teabagger who can doublethink his way into believing any fucking possible thing as long as the upshot is that a courageous, accomplished liberal President who has done more for the American people than any in generations is The Enemy.  

FUCK YOU, everybody who thinks and acts like this, and fuck you everybody who enables them by pretending this cargo-cult psychosis is a real political perspective.  Every bit of heat you draw away from the Republicans responsible for virtually all of America's political problems in order to serve your sick hate-fixation on this President is more evidence of what you truly represent.  Stop projecting your corrupt motives on to the rest of us and the people we elect through your unceasing torrent of CTs and moral doublethink.

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