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cupcakes
Say this for the anti-choicers: They sure are creative. And they never stop looking for new and inventive ways to try to strip women of their basic rights. Half the time, they propose things they know will never pass, just to test the waters. Just to see how extreme they can get without facing too much national outrage that forces them to back down. The point is to keep moving the dialogue about women's health care further and further to the fringiest edges, pushing the boundaries until what was once considered absurd (and unconstitutional) becomes acceptable. Reasonable. Legal.

Like the bill in Oklahoma that would ban "the manufacture or sale of food or products which use aborted human fetuses." You know, to protect the state from the cream of fetus sensation that was sweeping the nation a year ago. Or the the "pro-life" bill to legalize murder in South Dakota, Iowa and Nebraska, giving "pro-lifers" the right to use "reasonable force, including deadly force" if they believed it was "necessary under the circumstances to prevent death or serious injury to oneself or a third party." In other words, to gun down doctors to prevent them from performing abortions. Then there was the bill in Indiana requiring women to have not one but two unnecessary ultrasounds—before and after having a non-surgical abortion. Being oh so reasonable, Republicans removed the second required ultrasound from the bill. Compromise!

So now the Republican-controlled Kansas legislature is once again attempting to move the goal posts with yet another new anti-choice bill. H.B. 2253 is 70 pages long and would, among other things, "tax abortions, establish life beginning at fertilization, require doctors to say that abortion causes breast cancer and prohibit state employees from performing abortions during the workday."

So the bill would impose a tax on one specific kind of medical procedure and require doctors to lie to their patients by telling them, despite all scientific evidence to the contrary, that the safest medical procedure in America may cause cancer.

But one thing the bill will no longer do?

The committee removed a provision that would have banned abortion clinic workers from volunteering in their children's schools. The measure would have banned such activities as chaperoning field trips, serving as PTA officers and baking cupcakes for school activities.

Oh no! How could the Kansas legislature abandon our children and leave them vulnerable and exposed to the possibility of eating cupcakes made by women's health care providers? Don't they know how dangerous abortion food can be? Haven't they followed the news in Oklahoma?

Well, once this bill passes, as it is expected to, and Gov. Sam "He blows a lot" Brownback signs it, as he has promised to with every anti-choice bill that lands on his desk, the legislators will no doubt work on getting the abortion cupcake ban into some new bill. They must. For the children.

Originally posted to Kaili Joy Gray on Fri Mar 08, 2013 at 09:00 AM PST.

Also republished by Daily Kos.

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Comment Preferences

  •  So I can have an Abortion Cupcake (14+ / 0-)

    as long as it's not made of fetuses.

    That's nice.  

    (-6.25, -6.77) Moderate left, moderate libertarian

    by Lonely Liberal in PA on Fri Mar 08, 2013 at 09:07:38 AM PST

  •  Abortion causes cancer? (20+ / 0-)

    This is anti-science mumbo-jumbo at it's worst. And, let me guess, something that actually causes cancer HPV, and has an effective vaccine to prevent it, means the vaccine is probably banned in KS because it's "icky".

    What's the Matter with Kansas? This. This is what's the matter with Kansas.

    You can't assassinate the character of any of modern conservative. You'd have to find where it was buried, dig it up, resurrect it, then kill it. And killing a zombie isn't really assassination, is it?

    by ontheleftcoast on Fri Mar 08, 2013 at 09:09:26 AM PST

    •  HPV Vaccine = Whore (13+ / 0-)

      Or so the argument goes, anyway.  Apparently as soon as you can't get cancer from sex you stop worrying about that and start nailing everything that moves.

      Because women, when they're dating, always have cervical cancer in twenty years (maybe) as their first concern when having sex.

      No mention of penile cancer prevention for men is ever made.

      Don't worry, it doesn't make sense to me either...because it doesn't make sense.  Unless you're simply trying to get women to be subservient to one male to whom they're irrevocably married for life, that is.  Which in and of itself doesn't make sense if that's not what the women in question choose to do.

      (-6.25, -6.77) Moderate left, moderate libertarian

      by Lonely Liberal in PA on Fri Mar 08, 2013 at 09:18:37 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  On the bright side, it also causes unicorns! n/t (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      ontheleftcoast
    •  Men get breast cancer too. (0+ / 0-)

      Not that facts make any difference.

      There's no sense pretending that these baggers understand the difference in logic or fact. We can just keep repeating "abortions cause breast cancer" and can stone (or do something pitchforky) anyone who gets breast cancer because, obviously, they had an abortion. Or they wouldn't have gotten breast cancer.

      That's my story and I'm sticking to it. It's much easier to be a wing nut. No need to think.

      You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else. -- Sir Winston Churchill

      by bleeding heart on Fri Mar 08, 2013 at 02:45:21 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  And it will all be thrown out by the courts and it (4+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Noddy, hnichols, commonmass, TomFromNJ

    will be chalked up to yet another colossal waste of time and money.  Oh well.  Yawn. Next?

    •  Not yawn (17+ / 0-)

      Getting angry - this is what they are wasting my hard-earned tax dollars on, and I resent it with every molecule of my being.  

      We are paying them to listen to us and represent us, and instead, they think they can control us?  No, they are our elected employees, and I think their PNP is just getting worse and worse.

      All knowledge is worth having. Check out OctopodiCon to support steampunk learning and fun. Also, on DKos, check out the Itzl Alert Network.

      by Noddy on Fri Mar 08, 2013 at 11:10:26 AM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  I disagree - I think this (and the other measures (10+ / 0-)

      like it) are essentially campaigning with taxpayer money.  They pass bills like this so they get lots of publicity and the religious right applauds them loudly on TV, then the lawsuit comes and the state spends tax dollars to once again have the state loudly proclaim this is what the lawmakers and people of the state want and should they lose (this is Kansas, after all), they'll be right back at it decrying judicial overreach and how, if more Republicans were in office, this kind of thing would never be overturned, again, paid for by taxpayer money.  Never mind that the Kansas governorship is firmly painted with an "R" above the chair and the legislature has extreme supermajorities of Republicans for both of them.

      Are they trying to solve budget issues and other things of import to all of Kansas?  No - they're wasting time (which = taxpayer dollars) on measures like this which will waste even more dollars in court, while keeping the Republican brand front and center.  Any Democrat who points out that this is a waste of time and money will be tarred with being the ones to cause the waste of time and money because obviously the people of Kansas want this from their legislature (which may be true).

      •  This is exactly what they're doing (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        ColoTim

        "Dialing for dollars".

        “We are not a nation that says ‘don’t ask, don’t tell.’ We are a nation that says ‘out of many, we are one.’” -Barack Obama

        by skohayes on Fri Mar 08, 2013 at 02:53:45 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

      •  While I agree that these assholes are (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        ColoTim

        essentially campaigning with taxpayer money (certainly wasting it, at least), I just thought I'd point out that Kathleen Sebelius was the KS governor up until '09. That "R" over the Gov's chair isn't permanent.

        And up until every right winger in this country went nuts with the election of Obama, most KS Republicans weren't too bad. But Brownback's been doing his best to purge anyone remotely reasonable from the state house. And helping to send winners like Moran and Huelskamp to Congress.

        •  Kathleen Sebelius was a Dem, but her (0+ / 0-)

          Lt. governors were both Republican before they ran with her as a Democrat.  She went to Obama's administration leaving a former Republican in office, who announced he wouldn't run for re-election.  Running against Brownback would have been very tough in Kansas, but still, she was pretty unique for Kansas.

  •  Holy shit, they have no shame. (4+ / 0-)

    Didn't God say something about the whole lying thing?

    Where is the Republican Party of George Romney?

    by wolverinethad on Fri Mar 08, 2013 at 01:52:32 PM PST

    •  You mean "Thou shalt not bear false witness"? (4+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      ColoTim, commonmass, irishwitch, Penny GC

      Or how about "Judge not lest thou be judged"? The Bible is chock full of commentary on not being an arrogant prick and the price you'll pay if you choose to ignore those lessons. Republicans don't care, though. They just read around those bits and pretend they're not there. So much so they're working on a "new" translation of the Bible into "conservative talking points" which will praise the accumulation of wealth and condemn to torment anyone to the left of Alan Greenspan. :p

      You can't assassinate the character of any of modern conservative. You'd have to find where it was buried, dig it up, resurrect it, then kill it. And killing a zombie isn't really assassination, is it?

      by ontheleftcoast on Fri Mar 08, 2013 at 02:04:12 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  Crud. (7+ / 0-)
    The committee removed a provision that would have banned abortion clinic workers from volunteering in their children's schools. The measure would have banned such activities as chaperoning field trips, serving as PTA officers and baking cupcakes for school activities.
    Gosh, it's nice to know that conservatives are so vigilant in keeping government off our backs.  Freedom!
  •  Kaili, it appears you have two different (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    commonmass, skohayes

    messages in the diary.  When you quote, you say that the bill requires

    doctors to say that abortion causes breast cancer
    but later you say
    may cause cancer
    IANAL, but those are two different legal meanings and forcing the doctors to lie and say that it does cause cancer is forcing them to basically tell the patients if you do this you will get cancer with the implication that they will die from getting the procedure.  Telling them that it "may" cause cancer could be done with the same level of risk taking as any other "may cause cancer" that just living in the day-to-day world and eating food dye or even smoking cigarettes can cause cancer in some people but not others.

    I find the most outrageous to be the promise that they "will contract cancer" and presumably die young and horribly by having this procedure.  

    I wonder if they allow the abortion provider to laugh while saying this with air quotes?

    •  You might remember this (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      ColoTim

      The Kansas House passed a bill in 2011 (it didn't make it all the way to the governor) that said that doctors could lie to their patients about the condition of the fetus, if they thought it might make the woman seek an abortion. And women will not be able to sue them.
      That's in this bill.
      I've been reading it and this thing is 70 pages of horror, starting off with this:

      New Sec. 2. (a) The legislature hereby finds and declares the
      following:
      (1) The life of each human being begins at fertilization;
      (2) unborn children have interests in life, health and well-being that
      should be protected; and
      (3) the parents of unborn children have protectable interests in the
      life, health and well-being of the unborn children of such parents.
      (b) On and after July 1, 2013, the laws of this state shall be interpreted and construed to acknowledge on behalf of the unborn child at every stage of development, all the rights, privileges and immunities
      available to other persons, citizens and residents of this state,
      subject only to the constitution of the United States,
      This state is going to be lawsuit heaven if this bill passes.

      “We are not a nation that says ‘don’t ask, don’t tell.’ We are a nation that says ‘out of many, we are one.’” -Barack Obama

      by skohayes on Fri Mar 08, 2013 at 03:12:13 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

  •  Legislating by throwing something on the wall (4+ / 0-)

    and see what sticks.

    But then I live in Texass and this is how they do it here too.

    I guess it beats living in Oklahoma or Arkansas.

    Psst!!!......Mittens you are more of a poor loser than I thought.

    by wbishop3 on Fri Mar 08, 2013 at 02:11:27 PM PST

  •  They were probably terrified that (5+ / 0-)

    masses of women would sign up to volunteer at clinics just so they didn't get cupcake duty.

    It's the Supreme Court, stupid!

    by Radiowalla on Fri Mar 08, 2013 at 02:12:27 PM PST

  •  This is absolutely disgusting. Unbelieveable. (7+ / 0-)

    Here's where the canard that "both parties do it" breaks down. I challenge anyone who can find a piece of recent Democratic sponsored legislation introduced that would prevent people who are anti-choice from chaperoning field trips, or evangelical pastors from serving on the PTA?

    One party is batshit crazy, and the other is just, well, normal crazy. I don't see how any journalist can report on something like this and make it seem "reasonable". I'd have to find another profession.

    What is truth? -- Pontius Pilate

    by commonmass on Fri Mar 08, 2013 at 02:15:58 PM PST

  •  My state doesn't allow home-baked cupcakes (5+ / 0-)

    or anything else at school; everything has to be store bought.  I wonder how that works into the anti-abortion agenda.

    •  Well... (6+ / 0-)

      The main reason for that is so the proper labeling will be on the cupcake package. You know, so people can see if the cupcakes contain nuts, dairy, wheat or other possible allergens. I think the KS legislature should carry a similar warning, "Warning: This legislation was produced in a legislature run by nuts".

      You can't assassinate the character of any of modern conservative. You'd have to find where it was buried, dig it up, resurrect it, then kill it. And killing a zombie isn't really assassination, is it?

      by ontheleftcoast on Fri Mar 08, 2013 at 02:25:17 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

    •  Fear of litigation also has gone nuts. nt (1+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      ontheleftcoast

      Fiscal conservative: a Republican ready to spend $5 to save a dime--especially if that dime is helping a non-donor.

      by Mayfly on Fri Mar 08, 2013 at 02:25:19 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  The nut jokes just right themselves with Repugs. (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        Mayfly

        BTW, love that sig of yours. So true, they'll burn down the village to save it, waste huge sums of money to correct a tiny problem. They're mostly (if not completely) ideologues who have no sense of scale or balance.

        You can't assassinate the character of any of modern conservative. You'd have to find where it was buried, dig it up, resurrect it, then kill it. And killing a zombie isn't really assassination, is it?

        by ontheleftcoast on Fri Mar 08, 2013 at 02:35:21 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

        •  Thx, ontheleftcoast! Actually I appropriated it (1+ / 0-)
          Recommended by:
          ontheleftcoast

          from JuanitaJean.com.  Her site is the best Texas liberal humor since Molly Ivins left us.  

          Fiscal conservative: a Republican ready to spend $5 to save a dime--especially if that dime is helping a non-donor.

          by Mayfly on Fri Mar 08, 2013 at 04:32:21 PM PST

          [ Parent ]

  •  But... But... (2+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    Mayfly, lcbo

    ... you mean I can't make my infamous Modest Proposal Shepard's Pie & Trifle?

    The upstairs denizens loved it so!

    A Poet is at the same time a force for Solidarity and for Solitude -- Pablo Neruda / Netroots Radio podcasts of The After Show with Wink & Justice can be found on Stitcher

    by justiceputnam on Fri Mar 08, 2013 at 02:21:40 PM PST

  •  The anti-choice crazies are now bold enough to go (3+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    arlene, eataTREE, skohayes

    public with the stuff they screamed outside women's clinics in the '90s only when no police or media were present: i.e., fetal parts are used in manufacture of cosmetics, pro-choice women are evil witches who require human sacrifices to gain power, those who work in pro-choice clinics are possessed by demons, lesbians are required to become pregnant and have an abortion in order to "join the club"--I could go on and on with this disgusting stuff I heard repeatedly when I was a volunteer escort.

    Religious bigots have such dirty minds.

    Fiscal conservative: a Republican ready to spend $5 to save a dime--especially if that dime is helping a non-donor.

    by Mayfly on Fri Mar 08, 2013 at 02:22:54 PM PST

  •  it's like the original argument presented before (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    lcbo

    scotus in favor of roe v wade: it's not about being for abortion or against abortion. it's whether or not the govt has the right to tell a woman when she can & cannot have a child. period.

  •  They confused Festivus cakes with FETUSvus cakes (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    skohayes

    honest mistake, known to happen.

    -1.63/ -1.49 "Speaking truth to power" (with snark of course)!

    by dopper0189 on Fri Mar 08, 2013 at 02:33:24 PM PST

  •  ROTFL!!!! (0+ / 0-)

    I know this is a serious subject, but I gotta admit that I almost spit my afternoon coffee all over my screen when I read this:

    You know, to protect the state from the cream of fetus sensation that was sweeping the nation a year ago.
    Kaili, you're treating the rationales for these bills with the derision they deserve.  I think mockery is an effective weapon.

    "Ça c'est une chanson que j'aurais vraiment aimé ne pas avoir écrite." -- Barbara

    by FogCityJohn on Fri Mar 08, 2013 at 02:40:17 PM PST

  •  This, (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    skohayes

    "Don't they know how dangerous abortion food can be? " Just like that LGBT food. When I was at a previous job I worked with a real buble pussher and we had our Pride Picnic. There was extra food I knew just what to do. Put it in the lunchroom knowing she would be first in line for 'free' waited till she had a great big helping and mouthful, stating loudly for all to hear 'This is all from the Pride Staff, gee aren't they nice to share their food?!" She couldn't spit it out quick enough. So I'm guessing she would be in line for all the free cupcakes until of course it was stated they were baked with abortion provider hands, I am pretty sure they wear gloves AND wash first. But you never know...

    United we the people stand, divided we the people fall.

    by Penny GC on Fri Mar 08, 2013 at 02:50:43 PM PST

  •  Hey, listen. If it gets me out of making cupcakes (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    skohayes

    I might just go get me a job at an abortion clinic!

    The good we secure for ourselves is precarious and uncertain, is floating in mid-air, until it is secured for all of us and incorporated into our common life. Jane Addams

    by Alice Olson on Fri Mar 08, 2013 at 02:51:16 PM PST

  •  A statute requiring doctors to misinform patients (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    skohayes

    Wouldn't that be forced speech, with no compelling governmental interest, therefore violating the 1st Amendment?  My constitutional law is rusty but this stinks to all hell.  If those lawyers/scholars with more expertise in this area could educate me, I'd appreciate it.

    •  I think there are going to be all kinds of (2+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      milton333, UtahLibrul

      lawsuits over this bill. It's a 70 page bill and I'm on page 10 and cannot believe what these legislators are forcing doctors to tell women:

      derally-funded benefits to which she might otherwise be entitled; and
      (5) the abortion will terminate the life of a whole, separate, unique, living human being; and

      (6) by no later than 20 weeks from fertilization, the unborn child has
      the physical structures necessary to experience pain.
      There is evidence
      that by 20 weeks from fertilization unborn children seek to evade certain stimuli in a manner that in an infant or an adult would be interpreted to be a response to pain. Anesthesia is routinely administered to unborn
      children who are 20 weeks from fertilization or older who undergo prenatal surgery

      (D) that less than 5% of all natural pregnancies end in spontaneous miscarriage after detection of cardiac activity, and a fetal
      heartbeat is, therefore, a key medical indicator that an unborn child is likely to achieve the capacity for live birth
      ;
      This bill just gets worse and worse the more I read it.

      “We are not a nation that says ‘don’t ask, don’t tell.’ We are a nation that says ‘out of many, we are one.’” -Barack Obama

      by skohayes on Fri Mar 08, 2013 at 03:22:21 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  That last bit is horseshit (0+ / 0-)

        Heartbeat is detected some time in the 6th week, before lots of women even know they're pregnant.  I've had several miscarriages beyond the 7th week, most women who know they're having a miscarriage are at least 6 weeks pregnant, otherwise it's called a chemical pregnancy.

        Thought is only a flash in the middle of a long night, but the flash that means everything - Henri Poincaré

        by milton333 on Fri Mar 08, 2013 at 06:12:53 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

  •  Pro-life and Pro-kill? (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    skohayes
    Or the the "pro-life" bill to legalize murder in South Dakota, Iowa and Nebraska, giving "pro-lifers" the right to use "reasonable force, including deadly force" if they believed it was "necessary under the circumstances to prevent death or serious injury to oneself or a third party." In other words, to gun down doctors to prevent them from performing abortions.
    If these laws pass they need to be called "Snuff Laws." If they're going to enjoy the conceit of calling themselves "pro-life," then they'll need to explain how to square murdering ob-gyns who perform abortions with the 10 commandments. If it's to prevent "baby killing," then they've exceeded their mandate..."life" and the snuffing thereof, by their own belief system, is something wholly in the divine domain and not (to my knowledge) ever delegated to christianist fanatics. Maybe I missed that verse in the bible.

    Then again, inner contradictions never seem to bother wing nuts or their religious fanatic partners.

    "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." George Santayana

    by GEldridge on Fri Mar 08, 2013 at 02:57:54 PM PST

  •  We can't label our food but people who work (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    milton333

    at "human slaughterhouses" ...um abortion clinics ...wouldn't have been able to participate in bake sales?  That is too funny.  What made them change their minds?  Too few bakers in Kansas?  PTA participation is down? I know it wasn't common sense or a moment of clarity.

  •  One shudders to think what they will move (0+ / 0-)

    onto next once they have successfully banned abortions.

    "Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed." General Buck Turgidson

    by muledriver on Fri Mar 08, 2013 at 03:09:18 PM PST

    •  No need to guess (3+ / 0-)
      Recommended by:
      KateCrashes, muledriver, milton333

      They're already targeting contraception. The Republican Presidential nominee said Griswold vs. Connecticut was wrongly decided.

      Freedom isn't free. Patriots pay taxes.

      by Dogs are fuzzy on Fri Mar 08, 2013 at 03:20:15 PM PST

      [ Parent ]

      •  It's in this bill (1+ / 0-)
        Recommended by:
        muledriver
        "Abortion" means the use or prescription of any instrument, medicine, drug or any other substance or device to terminate the pregnancy of a woman known to be pregnant with an intention other than to increase the probability of a live birth, to preserve the life or health of
        the child after live birth, or to remove a dead unborn child who died as the result of natural causes in utero, accidental trauma or a criminal assault on the pregnant woman or her unborn child, and which causes the premature termination of the pregnancy
        This is the first step to ban contraceptives.

        “We are not a nation that says ‘don’t ask, don’t tell.’ We are a nation that says ‘out of many, we are one.’” -Barack Obama

        by skohayes on Fri Mar 08, 2013 at 03:25:39 PM PST

        [ Parent ]

  •  You know, I laughed when I read (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    KateCrashes

    your diary, but I clicked on the link to the bill and this really is a horror. I've quoted some parts in other comments above, but I'm not laughing anymore.
    They added this onto a huge tax bill, from what I've read so far.
    Probably the tax bill that is going to put the state in a $700 million hole by the end of 2014.
    It's going to get a lot worse around here, sadly, before it gets better.

    “We are not a nation that says ‘don’t ask, don’t tell.’ We are a nation that says ‘out of many, we are one.’” -Barack Obama

    by skohayes on Fri Mar 08, 2013 at 03:34:11 PM PST

  •  Here is what amazes me (0+ / 0-)

    that pro- lifers do not advocate for single mother issues and young child support. It would seem that if they truly wanted to end abortion they would make it easier, and more culturally acceptable, to have a baby out of wed lock at a young age; because the vast majority of women having abortions are young single women, without financial or emotional resource . Of course this would be a huge commitment, because temporary support does not provide for a growing child. I am talking about firmly placed policy that would provide not only for their health and welfare, but their education too. So I guess it comes down to choice, on the part of both parties. Isn't that what Roe v Wade is all about? choice? So pro lifers, you want to change the world ?, change your opinions on policy concerning support for unwed young women raising children. Actually, seems the choice is really yours.

  •  The Oklahoma bill re. products with fetuses (1+ / 0-)
    Recommended by:
    milton333

    could actually be a valid attack for them - it could ban all stem cell research as well as any medications or treatments derived from it.  

    Republican threats amount to destroying the present if we don't allow them to destroy the future too. -MinistryOfTruth, 1/1/2013

    by sleipner on Fri Mar 08, 2013 at 05:12:37 PM PST

  •  I'd like to recommend use of the term "No-Choice" (0+ / 0-)

    rather than "Anti-Choice". It rolls of the tongue more easily, it echoes and underlines our own "Pro-Choice" brand, and it steers clear of the false dichotomy of "Pro-Choice vs Pro-life".

    Let's force their side to explain why they're not the party of "No-Choice" instead of our side trying to explain that  "we're Pro-Life too!"

    Have you noticed?
    Politicians who promise LESS government
    only deliver BAD government.

    by jjohnjj on Fri Mar 08, 2013 at 05:45:27 PM PST

  •  "Aborted Human Fetuses": New snack food! (0+ / 0-)

    Sold exclusively in Kansas.  And, because it's an American snack food, it would certainly not actually be made of what it's called.  That should make the Kansas Legislature's collective head explode.

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