Okay, full disclosure here. I'm not the healthiest of people. Oh my physicals tend to end up all right with no nasty surprises- and for that I'm thankful- but my GP always ends by gently addressing the fact that I'm clinically obese.
Yup. I'm five-foot-eight and two hundred pounds. That puts me past the mere "overweight" category and into the "obese" column. Sigh.
I'm not happy about this. Yes, I know that fat is a feminist issue and that there are a lot of things wrong with the government BMI chart and that since healthy, organic food has been priced out of the budget range of the working poor many of us are at a disadvantage when it comes to fighting obesity. Still, there is nothing really good about being fifty pounds overweight. I'm not at all proud of this. Actually, I'm ashamed of it.
Add to this the fact that John Mackey, chief executive of "Whole Foods," has been a passionate advocated of vegetarianism and veganism and saving Americans from their own fat asses. My shame just deepens. Just listen to what Mackey had for dinner, according to a recent interview in the New York Times:
What did I cook for dinner last night? A salad, with my own walnut-cashew-based dressing, a stir-fry that I made without any oil, because you can do that with just water. It had kale and chard, onions, mushrooms and tomatoes in it, and mashed potatoes without salt or dairy, but I added some almond milk.
(Sob.) The man is twenty years older than me but he's gonna be on this earth long after I die. You want to know what I had for dinner last night? Rice with chicken gravy (oh lord, I'm trying to adhere to vegetarianism but that rice tastes so good when my mom puts her chicken gravy on top), broccoli (something to appease the gods) and three cups of coffee with "Wal-Mart" brand coffee mate. It's not actually "Coffee Mate" (I'm trying to save my pennies) but the "Wal-Mart" generic equivalent. Whatevs. It tastes the same.
Still, I can feel John Mackey shaking his head at me from afar.
In America, we’re addicted to sugar, fat and salt, and restaurants put all three of those in in abundance.
Oh man, do you think he's talking about me?
(Melancholy sigh). Okay. I'm reform. I'll be stricter in my vegetarianism. I'll blow up my budget by 200 percent and shop at organic food stores. Yeah, I know. This is all my fault. I'm a dumb, fat, American who needs to be shown the error of my ways and have the true path pointed out to me. After all, who can doubt that John Mackey has nothing but the health and happiness of all Americans on his min at all times when he advocates a green, veggie, meat-free, dairy-free, salt-free lifestyle? He just wants what's best for all Americans. I mean, look at how the NYT interview ends:
NYT: So did you vote for Romney?
Mackey: I did.
Wait, what?
Okay, here's the deal. Apparently John Mackey has had a beef with the Affordable Care Act for a long time. He called the plan "fascist," then quickly apologized but still offered criticism that was full of factual errors.
"Well, who cares?" you may ask, "The guy might be a conservative but at least his business promotes organic food, green energy, and sustainable fishing, and was listed by Fortune Magazine as one of the best companies by which to be employed.
Well, that's not the whole story. There have been some grumblings about the treatment of workers at "Whole Foods," including one lawsuit where a Muslim man was told by a "Whole Foods" supervisor to "choose between your job or your religion." Plus Mackey himself is quite open about his hatred of unions.
Again you may say "Who cares?" Every large chain store has a few dickish qualities about its leadership. Compared with "Wal-Mart" or the "GAP" whatever sins "Whole Foods" has committed is very small potatoes indeed.
That's also true. However- unlike "Wal-Mart" or "Chik-fil-A" or "Papa Johns," -"Whole Foods'" marketing caters towards a left-leaning crowd. Sample the customers inside of any random "Whole Foods" on any day of the week and you will find a distinctly left-leaning crowd. People who buy goods at "Whole Foods" tend to be Democratic or Green Party shoppers. These are the people who are making Mackey rich and these are the people who Mackey works against when he endorses Romney.
I know that now Mitt Romney's political career is a-mouldering in its grave but I do beg your indulgence if I exhume its corpse just so that I can give it a few more punches. Basically, this was Mitt Romney's environmental policy platform
"I'm not in this race to slow the rise of the oceans or to heal the planet,"
This was (and still is, I hope)
Obama's environmental policy platform:
"We will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment ... when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal."
This (supposedly) is the
pro-environment mission statement of "Whole Foods:"
Wise moms everywhere remind us that actions speak louder than words. We can all talk about saving our planet but making those smart and sometimes challenging choices every day is what's going to get the job done. We've been trying to make green choices since we opened our first store. We understand that companies can have a large impact on our environment.
And guess who the Chief Executive of "Whole Foods," this gentle green giant, voted for?
NYT: So did you vote for Romney?
Mackey: I did.
As diarist newusername reports,
"Whole Foods" has also been caught lying about using GMO crops. This sheds a whole new light on Mackey's decision to vote for Romney! Like Romney, Mackey is also a lying dick!
I'm not kidding about the dick part! Listen to this part of the NYT interview:
NYT: Considering your health consciousness, would you prefer Whole Foods not hire overweight people or smokers?
Mackey: In some cases we don’t hire smokers, but it’s hard not to hire people in America who are overweight, because 69 percent of adults are.
Oh man, I think he's talking about me again. Well, me and also the American working class in general where
obesity is endemic because we frankly don't have the time nor the money to buy his food.
Mackey: We’re not discriminating against workers, but we are incentivizing them.
Translation: "'Incentivizing,' by the way, is what we're calling 'discriminating' nowadays."
Mackey:We give our sickest team members an option to go through what we call the Total Health Immersion, where we take them off for a week, and we do intensive diet-and-lifestyle education.
Translation: "We punish fat employees by cutting back their hours, making them go to humiliating 'education' sessions and telling them to cut some weight if they want to keep their jobs."
Mackey: Our regional president in the Southwest, Mark Dixon, was overweight. I got Mark to go. One year later he’s lost 95 pounds, and he’s biking over 180 miles a week.
NYT: How did you get him to go?
Mackey: I nagged him. He didn’t have to go.
Translation: "Mwahahahaha! Not even administration-level employees are spared from my playful torture! You should have seen how Mark Dixon whined like a little bitch as he sweated his fat ass off! He won't mind me mentioning his name in the national media like this, by the way. He knows how to keep his job."
I mean, seriously! Is it really a stretch to imagine John Mackey strapping a dog to the roof of his car as well while laughing at fat folks? No wonder the dude likes Romney! I mean, Dan Cathy (President of "Chick-fil-A") and John Schnatter (CEO of "Papa John's") are at least HONEST about being dicks! Plus they have no qualms about hiring fat employees or being honest to progressive customers about how crappy their food is. Basically, "Chick-fil-A" and "Papa John's" aren't liars and they have affordable food and non-elitist attitudes towards the working class. John Mackey, on the other hand, likes to take liberal and progressive money while sneakily working against progressive causes.
And that, my friends, is why I'm switching my business to local groceries, farmers' markets, "Fresh Market," "Publix," and "McDonalds," and, yes, in a bind, occasionally "Chick-fil-A" and "Papa John's."
Because seriously folks, one of the greatest reasons why we are liberals nowadays is our belief that honesty is the best policy.