Skip to main content

Last Friday, Bill Maher closed with a New Rule explaining how various right-wing groups get to have their voices heard and their legislation enacted, despite the majority — and in some cases a vast majority — of Americans not in favor of their right-wing views.

And finally, New Rule: If your conservative advocacy group is demanding that Geico pull this ad

because the depiction — as a joke, of course — of a woman on a date with a cartoon pig might encourage bestiality, while you're also demanding that Skittles remove this ad

where a woman kisses a walrus because it may — yes, you guessed it — encourage bestiality, you have to ask yourself this: Aren't you thinking a little too much about bestiality?

I mean, seriously, if I'm the depraved Hollywood liberal, how come when I see these ads, I don't think, "Oh, bestiality, you forbidden fruit, how you tempt me!"  Not even a little.  But, you, wholesome Christian do-gooder, see this and think, "Please, Jesus, give me the strength to not fuck my cat!"  (wild audience applause)

Now, I only bring this up because the Christian pressure group responsible for protesting these ads is called One Million Moms, and they are an example of a much larger problem we need to deal with, a problem I call shit-kicker inflation.  Which is the phenomenon of all things conservative being portrayed as way bigger than they really are.

To wit, I looked up One Million Moms on Twitter, and the number of followers they have is 2,258.  That's how many my Aunt Marjorie has, and she's got one post, and it says, "Is this thing working?"

And Million Moms are not alone in pretending they're not alone.  The Catholic League is another group constantly in the news because they also love to get freaked out about nonsense that would make even Pat Robertson go, "Oh, for Christ's sakes, relax!"  But just as there aren't a million moms in One Million Moms, there is no league in the Catholic League.  It's one guy with a fax machine.

Now, a recent study found that politicians in both parties consistently thought that their constituents were much more conservative than they actually were.  And that's because there's a relatively small group of very shrill people devoted to — and succeeding at — convincing us that this is a much more conservative and religious nation than it is.  (audience applause)

Americans, for example, don't hate socialism.  They just can't define it.  Even though it's kind of right in the name "Social Security".  Kinda right in the name.  Which even Tea Partiers do not want to cut.

Same thing with Obamacare.  As an idea, it's unpopular.  But ask voters about the elements in it, they're all very popular.  It's like saying, "I hate pizza!  I love tomato sauce and melted cheese on dough, but pizza?  I hate that shit."

Same with guns!  We found out this week that gun ownership is actually down in this country.  Way down.  And yet the NRA, with just four million members, has a stranglehold on the gun policies in a nation of 300 million.

This misreading of where the public really is explains why at this moment, a cross-section of Republican politicians are at CPAC delivering a simple message to the right-wingers who keep losing them elections.  And that message is: "Whatever you do, don't change."  Among the featured speakers at CPAC this year include Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan, Rick Santorum, Wayne LaPierre, Donald Trump and Sarah Palin — a virtual Who's Who of What The Fuck.  (audience cheering and applause)

And look, the convention is still going on, so I won't presume to know everything that's going to be said at this open mic from hell, but....  Oh, screw it!  Yes, I do know.  I know exactly what'll be said, because it's exactly what they always say.  They will get up, one after another, and say that they speak for the vast majority of real Americans who hate socialism and own guns and feel their values are under attack.

Except they don't speak for the vast majority of Americans, or a majority at all.  (audience applause)  They're just so loud they haven't noticed that America has moved on without them.  They're like a nasty, old man still bitching about the kids who keep hitting the ball into his yard, even though those kids have grown up and moved away.  And he's still the senior senator from Arizona.  (audience cheering)

Video below the fold.

Originally posted to BruinKid on Sat Mar 23, 2013 at 03:00 PM PDT.

Also republished by Electronic America: Progressives Film, music & Arts Group.

Your Email has been sent.
You must add at least one tag to this diary before publishing it.

Add keywords that describe this diary. Separate multiple keywords with commas.
Tagging tips - Search For Tags - Browse For Tags


More Tagging tips:

A tag is a way to search for this diary. If someone is searching for "Barack Obama," is this a diary they'd be trying to find?

Use a person's full name, without any title. Senator Obama may become President Obama, and Michelle Obama might run for office.

If your diary covers an election or elected official, use election tags, which are generally the state abbreviation followed by the office. CA-01 is the first district House seat. CA-Sen covers both senate races. NY-GOV covers the New York governor's race.

Tags do not compound: that is, "education reform" is a completely different tag from "education". A tag like "reform" alone is probably not meaningful.

Consider if one or more of these tags fits your diary: Civil Rights, Community, Congress, Culture, Economy, Education, Elections, Energy, Environment, Health Care, International, Labor, Law, Media, Meta, National Security, Science, Transportation, or White House. If your diary is specific to a state, consider adding the state (California, Texas, etc). Keep in mind, though, that there are many wonderful and important diaries that don't fit in any of these tags. Don't worry if yours doesn't.

You can add a private note to this diary when hotlisting it:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from your hotlist?
Are you sure you want to remove your recommendation? You can only recommend a diary once, so you will not be able to re-recommend it afterwards.
Rescue this diary, and add a note:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary from Rescue?
Choose where to republish this diary. The diary will be added to the queue for that group. Publish it from the queue to make it appear.

You must be a member of a group to use this feature.

Add a quick update to your diary without changing the diary itself:
Are you sure you want to remove this diary?
(The diary will be removed from the site and returned to your drafts for further editing.)
(The diary will be removed.)
Are you sure you want to save these changes to the published diary?

Comment Preferences

Alumbrados, Angie in WA State, DeminNewJ, northsylvania, grollen, Subterranean, glitterscale, SaveDemocracy, badger, Pandora, mjr, TrueBlueMajority, nicolemm, PeterHug, Emerson, Shockwave, Heimyankel, LynChi, Wintermute, GayHillbilly, eeff, freelunch, Bryce in Seattle, exNYinTX, Creosote, dweb8231, rasbobbo, Gustogirl, bronte17, CoolAqua, missLotus, annrose, CoolOnion, shanikka, farmerhunt, roses, Suvro, retLT, poe, jalbert, Glinda, Iberian, abs0628, aitchdee, wader, Quege, Lilyvt, Getreal1246, psnyder, NYC Sophia, pat bunny, brainwave, yet another liberal, Jujuree, defluxion10, lcrp, Brian82, walkshills, FlyingToaster, zerelda, Curt Matlock, jcrit, TexasLefty, Emmy, vivadissent, Josiah Bartlett, sawgrass727, Gowrie Gal, Ted Hitler, bloomer 101, Tinfoil Hat, ichibon, caul, LarisaW, Freakinout daily, democracy inaction, Superpole, ZappoDave, ChemBob, stitchmd, Kdoug, YucatanMan, Dobber, fixxit, eru, owlbear1, cfk, Ice Blue, sunbro, Carnivorous Plantling, kaliope, Tunk, minidriver, Shotput8, coolbreeze, Pluto, turdraker, peacestpete, mrchips46, Alan Arizona, Paper Cup, xaxnar, Jim P, barbybuddy, Hirodog, gwilson, Captain Sham, Debbie in ME, vigilant meerkat, cybersaur, tonyahky, Yellow Canary, ruleoflaw, blueoasis, MJ via Chicago, The Hindsight Times, Libby Shaw, real world chick, Zwoof, middleagedhousewife, onionjim, CA Nana, Clive all hat no horse Rodeo, blueoregon, NancyWH, bstotts, AllanTBG, jobird, Aaa T Tudeattack, Thinking Fella, seabos84, One Pissed Off Liberal, pgm 01, out of left field, dotsright, peagreen, camlbacker, Debs2, Positronicus, Da Rat Bastid, puakev, yoduuuh do or do not, jds1978, operculum, rantsposition, HCKAD, GMFORD, cyncynical, bobswern, carpunder, madgranny, JML9999, oxon, Empower Ink, chicago minx, JDWolverton, bkamr, mconvente, JeffW, Phil N DeBlanc, GAS, Youffraita, Foundmyvoice, Involuntary Exile, bythesea, skohayes, Calamity Jean, Lujane, tofumagoo, boatjones, MrJayTee, vernonbc, Jeff Y, mofembot, codairem, Troubadour, gas28man, BYw, sagansong, sydneyluv, Celtic Merlin, maggiejean, prettygirlxoxoxo, J M F, Dirtandiron, spacecadet1, ARS, beinemac, greengemini, lostinamerica, radmul, Tara the Antisocial Social Worker, shopkeeper, DefendOurConstitution, geebeebee, oxfdblue, papahaha, Shelley99, IreGyre, stevenwag, sfarkash, astral66, collardgreens, Laurilei, FogCityJohn, Susan Grigsby, Anima, Polly Syllabic, ATFILLINOIS, Eddie L, Puddytat, Betty Pinson, Maverick80229, BlueFranco, ericlewis0, wwjjd, Glass Navel, Onomastic, annieli, Mike08, kerflooey, Bob Duck, bgblcklab1, sostos, msmacgyver, La Gitane, Possiamo, iowacaucus, ontheleftcoast, UtahLibrul, lillyspad, AsianAfricanAmerican, molunkusmol, trumpeter, zukesgirl64, Carolyn in Oregon, IllanoyGal, dle2GA, BarackStarObama, floridablue, IB JOHN, wintergreen8694, whoknu, MinistryOfTruth, Miggles, sheepmama, Cpqemp, Mentatmark, AnnetteK, ridemybike, OldDragon, Heart n Mind, anodnhajo, Eric Nelson, BoomerInOz, rukidingme, Horace Boothroyd III, Mike RinRI, belinda ridgewood, TBug, radical simplicity, Laiane, MartyM, Canines and Crocodiles, Buckeye54, arizonablue, wasatch, surreal times, maf1029, Sue B, Silvia Nightshade, Lily O Lady, Blue Bell Bookworm, Chaddiwicker, nomandates, TheMeansAreTheEnd, countwebb, Eric Twocents, Yo Bubba, Alhambra, Jollie Ollie Orange, doraphasia, Icicle68, nice marmot, jplanner, danjb, Havoth, OldSoldier99, citylights, Paul1a

Subscribe or Donate to support Daily Kos.

Click here for the mobile view of the site