Recently, my mom ran across a book of memories that my paternal grandma filled out for me when I was much younger. The book was stuffed inside a box in a closet and probably hadn't seen the light of day for years. I received the book when I was a small child, when it didn't really mean much to me, so when I was reminded of its existence, I excitedly had my mom mail it to me. Ever since, I have been slowly leafing through it, taking in all of the stories and pictures my grandma, who passed away five years ago, felt should be shared with me. I've wiped away more than one tear and emitted more than one hearty laugh at some of the content--my grandma was a very funny lady, in a Lucille Ball-esque kind of way. I can still hear her voice telling these stories, as they're stories she has shared countless times with me on her lap.
I think my favorite part of the memory book is the story of how she and my grandpa met, fell in love, and got married. My grandpa died in 1997, when I was only eight years old. I don't remember much about him. But I enjoyed hearing stories about him well into my teens. And I remember always being in awe of the story of how my grandma met and fell in love with my grandpa. Even at my young age, I knew they had something special.
I don't have a picture of my grandma and grandpa together, so here are two pictures--one of my grandma playing with me and one of me sleeping in my grandpa's lap, toward the end of his life:
And now, I'll share the story, in my grandma's own words, that has both made me laugh and warmed my heart during this important week for love and marriage.
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My grandparents met in the year 1930, at the beginning of the Great Depression. The Depression hit northwestern Pennsylvania as hard as it had other rural areas, and my grandma had to drop out of high school at age 16 to work as a waitress at the Pittsfield Inn, a local hotel and restaurant, to support her family. It was then that she met my grandpa, Sid, through a mutual friend. This is how in love they were:
I worked at the Pittsfield Inn for 1.00 a day. Sometimes--very rarely I'd get 1.25. Sid would walk from Youngsville to Pittsfield to see me after work--I don't think he was working, but after I'd get done at the hotel--and then walk back the 3 or more miles to Youngsville.
They were together about two years before they started considering marriage. My grandma didn't remember my grandpa proposing, but they somehow got engaged. They only waited a few months after that to get married. And here is the story of that marriage:
Sidney had bought an old car from his brother for $10.00--this was during the Great Depression in 1932--he sold the car license and all for 15.00. That was all the money we had. I had bought a cheap dress, and a few things I needed--the rest of the money was gone. Sid's brother Laverne was going with my sister Jessie at the time. We borrowed a car from a friend of Sid's and went to Mayville, N.Y., on June 25, 1932, got the license, and went to the wrong church. The minister put on a robe and we were married in a big church--no one there but 4 of us and the preacher. We stopped and had a hot dog for dinner. When we got home, company from Buffalo had come and took the room I had ready for us. There was no honeymoon, and it was 25 years before we took a belated honeymoon to New England.
How's that for a dream wedding?
Their first year together went like this:
We lived at my dad's house the 1st year. My mother had left home and I was needed to care for brother and sister--cook, etc. About our 1st anniversary, we moved to an apt. in Youngsville for 6.00 a month. We bought 2nd hand furniture--just enough to get along--borrowed silverware and had newspaper in the windows for a couple of wks. Then on July 8, 1933, our 1st baby came. We had no bed, so we put her in an empty drawer. We celebrated our 1st anniversary in our new apt. with a pt. of ice cream.
Needless to say, things got better for my grandparents. Love got them through the Depression, and they enjoyed over fifty happy, prosperous years together.
My grandma was a product of her time, and I'm sure she never even considered that she might have a gay grandson. In fact, I found in another part of the memory book that she hoped I'd find "a good, Christian girl" to settle down with. I came out well after her death, so I can't use a crystal ball to determine her opinion on marriage equality were she alive today. I do know that she knew what true love was. And I also know that, Bible and opinions on homosexuality aside, she'd want me to experience the same love that made her go to Mayville, New York, with fifteen dollars in her pocket to commit herself for life to my grandfather. And I'd like to think that, if there is a heaven, she will look down smiling over my future wedding. We might even have hot dogs in her memory.
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March 29, 2013
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From citylights:
Check out the sig line in Tamar's tip jar: a reality based axiom (the corollary could be ACORN vs. ALEC) I think qualifies as a top comment. Also qualifies as a "wish I'd said that."
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March 28, 2013
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