Long time satirical alternative publication and internet "website" The Onion today rose to the challenge of satirizing the modern world, while admitting that it's beginning to feel its age: "Well, you know at the beginning it was easy, I'd just look around at stupid stuff and kind of magnify it and presto! -- Irony was achieved. It was great. But then I really had a loss of confidence when I just went totally apeshit insane on what that dumb-as-fucking-dogshit idiot George Bush might do if he actually got elected. But the problem was that I was totally fucking right. I just couldn't catch a break with that guy. No matter how idiotic I went, he just kept fucking raising me, and, let me tell you, I don't think he was bluffing. I really don't. That man had dumb in his eyes. It was time to start walking small.
"Then I had this whole thing with McCain. I really thought I had it with that one, but fuck me!, the old coot just kept getting nuttier and nuttier. I was about to throw in the towel, but then this nutcase from North Korea came along and I knew I was back in the game. I came up with this beauty:
"Hah! Top THAT one, reality!"
The Onion was later informed that Marcus Bachmann was selected as People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive for this year and would not comment, though some close to him insisted that he was sobbing.