It has been a long hard winter here. Snow tomorrow and we are all SAD. So just perhaps to cheer up my fellow Minnesotan Kossacks... and any others. Here are some
Minnesota Love Songs
and I hope to see me in the Comments section.
C'mon Ole! C'mon Lena!
Minnesota Love Songs
You say Minnetonka. I say Willie Wonka!
You do Caribou and I do Sanka!
But won't you...be mine?
Whenever I speak of hockey
You say it's jabberwocky
Yes, I cry at Rocky
And once drank Old Milwaukee
And owned a black lawn jockey
But won't you...be mine?
I know you think it's screwy
But I want some Chop Suey
He don't make it no more do he?
The Chinese guy named Louie?
The world has got all screwy
This Chow Mein is too chewy
And my egg roll is too gooey
This goshdarn place is hooey
All we got is damned ennui.
But won't you...be mine?
Won't you try the Pho?
Wassa matter wid you Joe?
It's very good you know.
Why do you have to go?
Oh won't you...be mine?
Yes I'm from Dulut
But I don't say sehr gut
My Daddy was a Polack
And we know nossing of the Stalag
And you are from New Ulm
And we will make it home
But now we're in Cosetta's
So I'm imploring you not to let us
Be a...lone.
And won't you...be mine?
I'm sorry about the jello
I'm not that kind of fellow
But I don't like the yellow
And I really am quite mellow!
So won't you...be mine?
Where is Cinderella's slipper?
Is it in the old woodchipper?
Why are you such a lousy tipper?
But won't you...be mine?
You went to Minnesota Morris.
I grew up in the forest.
Yes I married Doris.
Yes I have an old Ford Taurus.
But won't you...be mine?
Yes, you are from Winona
But you still are my Shirona
I just got a job as a blood donor!
Your old boyfriend was a stoner
But he looked just like John Boehner.
But I never felt aloner
I'm a snorer and a groaner
But you are from Winona!
So won't you....be mine?
Minnesota Love
The night is cold. Ah, the Big Dipper!
Oh, how I love my Preston woodchipper.
And how she repays all the love I give her...
Chipping this one and that one! Then into the river!
Goodbye! Farewell. You will be missed.
Another dead bastard for my list.
The river bears the strangest cargo.
In Minnesota. Just north of Fargo.