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In honor of it being a Friday afternoon and of the Decider getting his presidential museum and fun house opened recently, I was thinking that we should name a new drink in honor of the fun house's most famous attraction: Decision Points Theater. What we're looking for here is a drink that will make you so blasted after one that it will actually put you in a mindset where Decision Points Theater makes sense. (Okay, well not really make sense, but, that you might actually think that there was a point in all that nonsense).

We want a drink that makes you so drunk after one that you might think that George Bush was a good president.

We want a drink so strong that just two of them will make the lackeys in the Washington Press Corps pass out and choke on their own vomit. (And don't think that will be easy. Those people can DRINK! -- Well, at least judging from their stories).

We want a drink so strong, it makes the Vesper Martini look like a bevvie for pantywaists.

But here's the thing, the booze has to be disguised well enough that nearly half of people offered one think that it might make a pretty good drink for the first round. Also it has to be strong enough that even though it is clearly ruining what started out as a good century, excuse me, evening, even MORE people order one when the waiter comes around asking after the second round. It has to be potent and smooth enough to go over with "Soccer Moms" and make them feel comfortable and secure without thinking they've done something extreme by ordering it.

Most important, it has to be good enough that people will actually order it and we can take the words "Decision Points Theater" away from the Republican'ts just like Dan Savage took Santorum's name.

Experiment tonight, but make sure that you've got a ride home, because if you do it right, two of these will give you and hangover for well over four years no matter what you do right.

Seriously, if you have any really strong concoctions that you like and that haven't been named yet, now is the time to share them. You just might be the person to remind everyone alive that George W. Bush and the rest of the world would have been better off if he had just stayed drunk.

I actually had something that I invented last year, but after splitting two of them with my wife, neither of us could remember what in hell I put in it. (I know it had half an ounce of Southern Comfort, and that's about the only ingredient I recall).

Anyway, remind the world that Bush was a lousy president. Take his theater from him and mock him forever more, with a cocktail that makes all who drink it as delusional as the people who thought up "Decision Points Theater."

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