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Don't you just hate it when your iPad runs out of battery with only five minutes left on the show you're watching on Netflix? Yeah, me too.  Follow me below the dingledoodle squigglie dKosagnocchi dividerthingie fold after a word from our sponsor for more First World Problems...

Here at Top Comments we strive to nourish community by rounding up some of the site's best, funniest, most mojo'd & most informative commentary, and we depend on your help!! If you see a comment by another Kossack that deserves wider recognition, please send it either to topcomments at gmail or to the Top Comments group mailbox by 9:30pm Eastern. Please please please include a few words about why you sent it in as well as your user name (even if you think we know it already :-)), so we can credit you with the find!  

First World Problems. Those things we complain about that most of the rest of the world can't fathom because they're dealing with Actual Problems like, you know... staying alive.

I hate when it snows and all of my cars won't fit in the garage.

I hate when the dry cleaner leaves a crease when I specifically said "no creases."

I hate having so many channels on TV and still can't find anything to watch.

I hate when we run out of dog food and have to give the dogs hamburger.

I hate it when someone fills up our shared Drop box with their stuff and I have to delete things.

It's got an Urban Dictionary entry, and a Twitter hashtag. It's in the Parental Toolkit as Response To Whiny Adolescent #104: "That you don't have enough outlets to charge your iPod, tablet & phone and also use your laptop and hair straightener is a First World Problem, dear. Come set the table."

Some are just ridiculous:

My reserved parking spot is further from the door than the nearest unreserved parking spot.

I do not like the way the new hundred dollar bill looks.

Our maid keeps unplugging our router while she is cleaning.

We all are WELL aware exactly how ridiculous these FWP's sound. Others, however, are a bit more insidious:
I ate so much at lunch that I'm not hungry for dinner.

My bank sent me a new credit card so now I have to update all of my automatic payments.

I have to pack for my vacation.

I know people for whom each of those things, which I personally have said aloud in the past few months, are as out of range as the following FWPs are for those reading them in this video:

I don't want to end with us all guilty for our FWPs... really, I'd love to hear some of your favorites in the comments! I want to share a bit of K1's recent Credo statement. This past Sunday, K1 completed a two-year program in our UU church and with nine other teens celebrated her Coming of Age. Each of these youth composed and delivered a three minute Credo, a personal statement of belief. K1 delivered hers last, and while I am a bit biased, I thought hers was the best :). In one part, she spoke about our 2009 trip to Ethiopia to bring her brother home after his adoption, specifically the journey to his home village:

Ethiopia, up in the mountains, is the most gorgeous place I’ve ever been. Everything is green and bright. You can see forever. It’s like the beautiful mountain scenes in Lord of the Rings only it’s right in front of you, no 3D glasses required! There was a rainbow - it was amazing, but no one really cared because they have rainbows all the time. What they don’t have is drinkable water at a moment’s notice, or a full pantry all the time, yet they offer a bite of every meal they have to us-a sacred act in their culture.
Yeah, I'd say the First World does have problems. I hope for a day when everyone, everywhere, can notice the rainbows while drinking clean water.

Brillig's ObDisclaimer: The decision to publish each nomination lies with the evening's Diarist and/or Comment Formatter. My evenings at the helm, I try reeeeallllyy hard to publish everything without regard to content. I really do, even when I disagree personally with any given nomination. "TopCommentness" lies in the eyes of the nominator and of you, the reader - I leave the decision to you. I do not publish self-nominations (ie your own comments) and if I ruled the world, we'd all build community, supporting and uplifting instead of tearing our fellow Kossacks down.

I suppose saying "I'm sad when the TC mailboxes aren't overflowing with nominations" is a FWP. However, it IS true that Top Comments isn't all it can be, without those submissions, so send 'em in!

From Noddy:
ranger995 explores language options for the Republicans in Congress in Hunter's diary We are governed by outright morons.
From leu2500:
on behalf of engine17, this comment from blue aardvark in Hunter's  diary.

I'm sure there are other gems in this diary.  I especially liked the exchange where they tried to figure out which D&D creature the Rs most resemble.

From commonmass:
In tonight's election liveblog, user Babbling Hill has some wisdom about Sanford.
From Yours Truly, brillig:
This helpful comment from 2thanks lets me highlight dhonig's turn words into actions diary.

ivorybill has an interesting question in Laura Clawson's what abstinence teaches diary.

OK, technically cooper888's comment is a picture. But it's a really GOOD picture :).

Top Mojo for yesterday, May 6th, first comments and tip jars excluded. Thank you mik for the mojo magic! For those of you interested in How Top Mojo Works, please see his diary FAQing Top Mojo.
  1) The right confuses the Declaration by Upper West — 124
  2) David Gregory = A+ Neocon water carrier by ericlewis0 — 106
  3) Great read.  Thanks for this. by OldJackPine — 93
  4) "35 year old grandmother"...there's by PsychoSavannah — 92
  5) You are right -- to a point. by 8ackgr0und N015e — 90
  6) Thank you! by vcmvo2 — 81
  7) And of course, by Frank Palmer — 69
  8) Charles Pierce says it for me by tardis10 — 69
  9) I was thinking "40 something bed wetter" by DrTerwilliker — 68
10) Alexander Stephens' Cornerstone Speech by RFK Lives — 68
11) We're by kos — 67
12) Perhaps you should threaten to... by Trix — 63
13) I used to be a monthly subscriber to get away by commonmass — 62
14) Thank you 8ackgr0und N015e, best recapitulation... by Shockwave — 62
15) Good by arizonablue — 60
16) I bought a lifetime sub yrs ago by NMRed — 60
17) This has fallen off the Recommended by ManfromMiddletown — 60
18) Also, Guns are heavily regulated in by tommymet — 60
19) Please come visit & write here more often. by LakeSuperior — 58
20) Southern Aggression by Hugh Jim Bissell — 58
21) There are twenty users. by commonmass — 57
22) Yeah by kos — 57
23) Jon Stewart said it best: by Patriot4peace — 56
24) I agree, we should teach the debate. by EricMN — 55
25) Excellent! by Youffraita — 55
26) Desktop computer here by Debbie in ME — 53
27) If Pat Roberston believes in the same heaven by commonmass — 52
28) Amazing the ignorance out there. by estamm — 52
29) I think Markos should give Harry Reid by commonmass — 52
30) I resent that by kos — 51

Top Pictures for yesterday, May 6th.  Click any image to be taken to the full comment. Thank you jotter for the image magic!

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