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Good Morning and Welcome to Morning Open Thread
As usual on my every other Tuesday MOT duty, I am posting an animal related story that either I sent to, or more likely I received from Graeme, my Australian friend who lives with his beautiful wife, Noi in Thailand along with a rag-tag pack of dogs that adopted them.  Today's tail tale comes from my buddy Graeme.  So, Sit, Stay and Read.

Inner Peace

If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved ones
are too busy to give you any time,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without alcohol,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

...

                 ...

                                  ... then you are probably

                                                                                    The Family Dog

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A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past them. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian. The children fell to discussing the dog's duties.

"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.

"No, he's just for good luck," said another.

A third child brought the argument to a close.

"They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."

 photo bullxgrn.gif
A guy was driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he saw a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: ”Talking Dog for Sale”

He rings the bell, the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the back yard and sees a nice looking Beagle sitting there. ”You talk?” he asks. ”Yep,” the Beagle replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk he says,
”So, what's your story?”

The Beagle looks up and says, ”Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA and they had me sworn into the toughest branch of the armed services... the United States Marines. You know one of their nicknames is 'The Devil Dogs.'

“In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running, but the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger. So, I decided to settle down.

“I retired from the Corps (8 dog years is 56 Corps years) and signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.”

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

“Ten dollars,” the guy says.

”Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?”

”Because he's such a liar.... He never did any of that stuff…

He was in the Navy!”

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