You killed Unemploymement? You bastard!
Current Virginia lt. gov nominee E.W. Jackson is a fine example of how very devoted the current conservative movement is to elevating batshit crazy people as their leaders. He may be, in fact, the very finest example ever—but we would have to really ponder on that a while, rather than just bestowing the title to him outright, and that is itself testament to the remarkable depth of the conservative batshit crazy lineup. There are a lot of top-notch lunatics in that bullpen.
A brief campaign video Jackson made for his 2012 Senate (can you imagine?) race has been getting quite a bit of new attention. Most people are focused on, well, the obvious lunacy of it, but my own beef is with spelling. Sure, he's smashing various melons with his tri-colored Patriot Axe, melons labeled "Federal Budget" and "Obamacare" and "Unemployment," but if you look at the video, the damn "Unemployment" melon is in fact an "Unemploymement" melon. What the hell is up with that? And—mind you, we're getting into true black-helicopter territory here—the Unemploymement melon actually starts out as an Unemployment melon when Tea Party Biff there sets it down, but it changes to an Unemploymement melon just as he's about to smash it. Then, boom, melon gone.
What does it mean? An extra "me" has appeared on Jackson's smashin' melon in its final half-second of life. Is it a subtle metaphoric cry for help from Jackson, who is now smashing a symbolic "me" in addition to the overall national labor crisis? Has the melon achieved sentience, the "me" being an urgent visible message of a new self-awareness, a cry out to the heavens in that last instant before Jackson butchers it? Did some dipshit put the wrong sticker on the melon the first time, thus necessitating a melon do-over that never quite got fully edited into the final product? We may never know.
But you know what, pal? Screw you. I can handle a lot of things in politics, but I have no patience for a man who mislabels his issue-based produce. Full video and other E.W. Jackson news below the fold:
Other E.W. Jackson news, at least until we set up our official Daily Kos E.W. Jackson-watching website:
- He's a Prosperity Gospel scammer? Oh, Lord. I knew he was a preacher, but I didn't know he was a "preacher." For those of you who don't know, "prosperity gospel" is a religious premise proffered mostly by wealthy televangelist types that says if you've got money, it's because God loves you, and if you don't got money it's because God wants you to rot for a while. Wealth—say, the sort of wealth you might swindle from your deeply religious but very stupid followers in order to power your own extravagant lifestyle—is a sign of just how much God loves your preaching, and people aren't allowed to criticize you for spending it on, say, a recreational vehicle for your yipping little dogs. It also means that you shouldn't tax rich people, and that giving money to rich people (like preachers!) is in some ways better than giving it to poor people, and really if you haven't caught on to the transparently obvious self-serving nature of the scam by now there's no damn hope for you. It's the Home Shopping Channel of religions.
- He fought vigorously against AIDS prevention efforts in the 1980s and 90s, including efforts to establish public health clinics, needle exchange programs and anything having to do with sex education or condoms. More remarkable than his views, however, might be the vitriol with which he tried to get them enforced, including constant protests and vigils and radio-show yelling. The "condemning a local news anchor for having a baby out of wedlock" bit is nice, too. No, not Murphy Brown, this was an actual person. Apparently back then he was the Moral Majority on acid. And by "then," I mean until the exact point the Republicans nominated him for his current spot.
At some point, probably only after Jackson has done something horrible enough to require amputating him from the wider party, conservatives are going to mutter about how we can't possibly tar the whole conservative movement with this one batshit crazy person. Ah, but it's precisely because he is a batshit crazy person that he's being elevated now. It was the feature that made his running mate, Virginia Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli, think this fellow would be a nice chap to work with. The upper crust of the party may be squirming about Jackson tirades comparing Planned Parenthood to the KKK, for example, but Cuccinelli himself has been promoting similar theories for a long, long time now. They're batshit crazy twinsies!