My heart goes out to those affected by the recent severe storms. I survived at least one tornado in Oklahoma as a kid, and worked on homes there for HFH once upon a time. I'm loath to write this, but I feel a little shock to the system might be in order.
So, what would you prefer to hear on the radio or television in the future?
A major tragedy was averted this afternoon, when a strong tornado tore through Tornado Town without a single fatality and only a few minor injuries.
A National Weather Service Spokesperson said that the US Weather Observer and Chaser Association in partnership with local law enforcement successfully surrounded and tracked the storm, which allowed for timely and accurate neighborhood level warnings and directions for emergency response.
Several lives were saved by EMT-qualified storm chasers who stabilized critically-injured storm victims and helped clear roads of debris, allowing ambulances to drive through and deliver the wounded to hospitals.
Thousands more took refuge in neighborhood storm shelters constructed a few months ago by USWOCA, using public and private grants and donations from around the country.
Untold numbers of local and out of state motorists were prevented from being caught in the storm as it passed over an interstate highway when spotters and chasers assisted law enforcement in directing traffic away from the potential death trap.
There was one close call, however, when a specialized storm intercept vehicle was struck and heavily damaged by the tornado, but the chasers were protected by the internal roll-cage, harnesses and helmets and are doing fine tonight.
Or
Hey Kids, there's a PDS today and you know what that means: Pornado Day Storm-abration!
All your favorites are back in town: Cornado Dogs, Funnel-Cloud Cakes, and The Flying Cow Rootbeer Float!
And if you're ready to float, then we've got ZORBS, ZORBS, ZORBS! Yes, that's right, Stormin' Zorbin' is back and you can ride one of these human-sized inflatable bouncy-balls up into the clouds!
But wait, We got activities for the adults too! Men, See if can make the bottle "never. hit. the ground." in the White Lightning Up-Chuck Bottle Tossing Contest. And ladies, The annual Twitty Tister Wet and Windy T-shirt Contest is back! Don't forget the Rolling Hay Bale Balancing Contest, if you've got the legs for it. And after the twister has come and gone, look around the damage pile while you play Pornado Bingo!
So come on down and Pack the Parkway.
We'll be here every stormy day all May.
Do you like the first scenario? Does the second scenario make you seethe with anger at its inappropriateness? If the answers are yes, then follow me below the storm-cloud with the orange lining for a few sober thoughts on what we might do about it.
Yes, I know that second bit was satirical and offensive and over the line and much too soon to be funny, but in conversations with meteorologists, storm chasers and friends of those who died last week, I've learned that some of them feel such a carnival atmosphere already exists and that it hampers the efforts of those who are attempting to track storms for the public safety or collect data for scientific research.
But even if all storm chasers, professional and amateur alike, were spotting instead of sporting, there's just too many of them. They get in the way of each other. Last week, to make matters worse, people tried to evacuate ahead of the storm and compounded the problem. There needs to be a way to reduce the traffic, but perhaps it doesn't have to be an outright ban on storm chasing or forcing people to build storm shelters for every single house at their own expense.
Therefore, I propose the following:
- Empower law enforcement to issue traffic citations by mail to motorists using dashcam and other video footage in order to deter casual, unauthorized storm chasers and to reduce traffic hazards.
- Empower law enforcement to authorize qualified storm chasers to have an official role as emergency responders before, during and after the storm, which includes traffic privileges similar to other emergency vehicles.
- Create a national organization that governs the activity, coordinates chases, and trains and certifies basic and advanced storm chasers and specially reinforced vehicles in partnership with federal, state and local government.
- Use the national organization to accept donations and grants in order to fund and organize storm safety-related charitable projects and activities such as storm education, storm planning, private storm shelter design assistance, public storm shelter construction, and reinforcing existing homes against storms.
Together, these options could reduce the number of people on the roads trying to evacuate or get a cheap thrill instead of seeking shelter, while allowing emergency responders and public safety professionals, including media and scientists, better mobility so that they can fulfill their goal of saving lives.
Some people may be worried about rights and government overreach. However, driving is a privilege, not a right, so it's a good way to balance liberty and responsibility. If storm chasers don't organize to police themselves, then in the future they may face outright bans and criminal penalties for creating a public nuisance or violations of other applicable laws. The time to act is now.
Thoughts?