Father's Day is today... and for me it is one of those bittersweet kind of days. My dad is still alive, and I've called him to say "Happy Father's Day!" I love him... but our relationship is... well, complicated. He was a good dad for parts of my childhood, and then... he wasn't. My younger brother knows a different man-- the man he and I both call dad was not a good parent for him. Dad had a selfish spell... and boy, did it have consequences. A divorce from my mother, some pretty major health consequences (drug-induced heart attack), and finally hepatitis and a stroke. It was needless to say, a really rough patch. He straightened himself out, finally, and after the stroke I went to take care of him (oldest daughter in rural Appalachia-- what else was I supposed to do?) I do love him, but it is hard to hear him talk through his realization of how much he missed out on with my brother...
But, man is he tough--he is still alive and kickin', as they say. With the opportunity to begin to make amends...
Father's Day means different things to different people-- based on family relationships and different traditions, and you name it.
Welcome to Brothers and Sisters, the weekly meetup for prayer* and community at Daily Kos. We put an asterisk on pray* to acknowledge that not everyone uses conventional religious language, but may want to share joys and concerns, or simply take solace in a meditative atmosphere. Anyone who comes in the spirit of mutual respect, warmth and healing is welcome.
It is also a sad day for me... the immigration debate is not merely rhetorical in my world right now. One of my best friends had to explain to her son again today why his father is in an ICE detention center in Chicago... it is difficult for all of them. Particularly because in this case-- it should be easy to fix. But bureaucracy does what it does... so he has been there a month longer than it really should have taken. A child is without his father, the household is without its main breadwinner... and my friend really misses her husband, her rock, her love.
It is an issue of social justice that we fix the issues with immigration... and NOW!
And now... The Our Father was beautiful in Mass today... we all held hands.
Our Father who art in Heaven,
Hallowed be thy name;
Thy kingdom come
Thy will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread;
And forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us;
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are yours, now and forever.
And in Spanish:
Padre nuestro que estás en los cielos
Santificado sea tu Nombre
Venga tu reino
Hágase tu voluntad
En la tierra como en el cielo
Danos hoy el pan de este día
y perdona nuestras deudas
como nosotros perdonamos nuestros deudores
y no nos dejes caer en al tentación
sino que líbranos del malo.
Amen.
Some random quotes on fathers and fatherhood...
“There are three stages of a man’s life: He believes in Santa Claus, he doesn’t believe in Santa Claus, he is Santa Claus.” – Author Unknown
“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.” – Mark Twain
“Be a dad. Don’t be ‘Mom’s assistant.’ That’s depressing, just waiting for her to write you a list, walk around a store staring at it, calling her from the cereal aisle to make sure you got the right thing. Be a man. Make your own list. Fathers have skills that they never use at home. You run a landscaping business and you can’t dress and feed a 4-year-old? Take it on. Spend time with your kids and have your own ideas about what they need. It won’t take away your manhood; it will give it to you. I did that. I spent more time with my kids. And I found out that I’m a pretty bad father. I make a lot of mistakes and I don’t know what I’m doing. But my kids love me. Go figure.” – Louis C.K.
“Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow.” – Reed Markham
PEACE...