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Like many people, I had thought the three branches of the United States federal government were Executive, Legislative, and Judicial.  Silly me.  Fortunately I've learned a great deal from the blogosphere about the true structure of American government, and would like to now share my insights.  A chart of our government's branches is below the orange curlicue, which I'm told is a visual representation of Obama's deviousness.

Obama Derangement Branches

There are other terms for the three branches, but using them would be the act of a boot-licking authoritarian, and you're not a boot-licking authoritarian, are you?  

Now, here is how a bill is supposed to become a law:

1.  Obama, like Lassie, directly senses the needs of the entire nation and leaps to introduce bills to meet them.
2.  Obama assures the passage of those bills through the omnipotent power of self-righteousness.
3.  The legality of the bills is upheld because the same method guaranteed the confirmation of his judicial nominees.
4.  The new laws are directly overseen and enforced by Barack Obama, who travels around the country personally conducting the performance reviews of every single public employee involved in its implementation.

Oh, you have a question already?  That's good - all freedom-loving people appreciate questions, as long as they're prefaced with total agreement.  Your question is "Where do people other than Barack Obama factor into that process?"  I'm sorry, I can't understand your servile gibberish.  You'll have to learn to speak Freedom before I can understand you.  Harry Truman said "The buck stops here," and obviously a witticism from 1945 supersedes your silly notions of multi-person government.  Anyway, moving on...

Here is how a bill really becomes a law:

1.  Obama, being a pathetic weakling, negligently allows legislators to introduce and consider their own bills.
2.  Obama, still a weakling, fails to force these legislators to pass needed legislation.  
3.  Obama, now in omnipotent puppeteer mode, instead cynically manipulates these legislators to pass bills that range from pathetic to horrifying.
4.  He doesn't veto 100% of them, proving himself feckless and faithless.
5.  Again in treacherous omnipotence mode, he allows the courts to screw with not only his programs, but preexisting ones, and fails to politically interfere in the Justice Department to our satisfaction.

If you didn't enjoy this diary, it's not my fault - it's that damn Obama.  Stop being such a bootlicker trying to blame me instead of the guy with the real power.  The buck for diary quality stops with him.

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