Well today the Supreme Court decided to overturn our country's righteous efforts to defend marriage.
That's pretty much the game, folks.
For those of you who, like me, are in committed heterosexual passionately TRADITIONAL marriage, well this is as good as a death blow.
I mean, I love my wife. I really do.
But last I checked she doesn't have a penis.
Let me reiterate that. I am in a one-cock marriage.
And now it doesn't mean what it used to.
Now it's not just Taxachussetts and other liberal la-la lands like Iowa, now the FEDERAL government cannot recognize the basic human right to not recognize the humanity of those in two-cock or even no-cock marriages. (Although, that's really not so icky as the two-cock kind--you see I've done extensive research on the internet and it turns out that those in no-cock marriages really kind of want cock. No, really you can see it on many sites.)
But I guess the basic point here is that we have to this point in our history celebrated the one-marriage one-cock essential equality of all marriages, just as we did with one man one vote.
No, suddenly it's okay for SOME marriages to have two cocks.
Is it just me or is there a profound lack of equality in such a marriage?
Why should some guys be allowed to have two when most can only have one?
That's not equality.
I mean it's bad enough that some guys already have larger organs than others, but now some of them get to play with SOMEONE ELSE'S as well? And have it be not just tolerated but at least sorta kinda RECOGNIZED by the federal government.
It's just beyond me. I really can't understand it.
What's most disturbing is that there seem to be a lot of men in committed, passionate heterosexual relationships the way that I am, that just couldn't care less that this allows some guys to play with TWO cocks.
How can my marriage possibly survive when every day now when I wake up next to my wife and know that she doesn't have a penis and that that means that our marriage has fewer penises than other marriages? Oh, sure, she's got her own sex organs, but who cares about those? Lesbians, maybe, but manly men know that it all comes down to the lingam and that it's just not fair that some guys can play with two.
I'm sure that all of us in committed passionate heterosexual TRADITIONAL marriages feel the same way. I mean if we were allowed to play with other guys' packages and still be in a socially accepted marriage, we never would have gotten married in the first place, and I'm sure I'm not the only guy who has the sudden urge to cheat on my wife with that devastatingly handsome athletic guy that works at Quizno's and is completely wasting his life because if he could just pack on about ten pounds of muscle he would totally be the next Fabio, only darker and even better looking.
There's just no way she could compete with that.
I mean she's just a girl.
That's just common sense.
I can't believe the court is ruling common sense unconstitutional.
What is the world coming to?