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Dear Governor Perry,

Thank you so much for your recent comments about Wendy Davis’s inability to learn from her own life experiences. You would think that the child of a single parent who became a teenaged mother herself would get it that pregnancy is always a treasured blessing. Frustrating!

Mr. Governor, it pains me to say that, so often, we women are our own worst enemies. In the workplace, for example, we behave like children. It’s just whine, whine, whine and gimme, gimme, gimme all the time. “John’s paycheck is bigger than mine!”; “Bob touched me!”; “But I waaaant birth control!”. Lord above, it is enough to drive even the most tolerant man around the bend. Unfortunately, this is the kind of thing that happens when you spare the rod.

Thank goodness you haven’t made that choice (sparing the rod) when it comes to things going on in the innermost recesses of a woman’s body. It is bad enough that, with all of those crazy hormones circulating in our blood, sinful promiscuity is our wont. But the flagrant irresponsibility of my gender is inexcusable. Refusing to just shut that thing down. Insisting on having accurate sex. Not putting an aspirin between the knees. Toying around with legitimate rape. Birth control!

Look. While I hear you and your ilk say that pregnancy is a black and white issue, my woman’s brain lacks the insight and wisdom to see things clearly…the way you do. Because of this, I need men like you to take control. Where my lady brain might be distracted by silly things like having to quit high school or dealing with the emotional scars of rape or dying in childbirth and leaving my other children motherless, it is a relief to know that you see the situation with complete certainty because you not only never have to face it personally but view the world through a book written 2,000 years ago.  

When it comes to your redux attempt to ram through anti-abortion legislation, please don’t be swayed by the voices of protestors screeching about “their” bodies. As Wendy Davis has so aptly demonstrated, all the real life experience in the world isn’t going to help the hundreds of women filling the statehouse gallery (or the hundreds of thousands more watching from outside) get it that you and your cohorts, you know what’s best for all situations and for millions of women you have never met.

Doggone it, instead of being mad at you, we women should be GRATEFUL! How blessed we are to have you care about us enough to want to “protect” us. You have more love in your heart for our reproductive potential than we could ever hope to have. You see our ‘problems’ for what they really are: flimsy, soulless excuses to thoughtlessly deny the gift the God has given and selfishly murder as many babies as possible. You have gone so far as to cast your soul to one side to focus on calling our bodies and our lives into your God’s service. Wow! I can almost feel His hand touching my uterus right now. I’m surprised there is room given how much space small government is taking up.

So stand strong in the face of attempts to make you feel shame for obliterating “freedom” and “choice” and “Constitutionally guaranteed rights” in America. Turn the other cheek when you are accused of being a cruel, ignorant and heartless bastard. And shut your ears and your mind to the heart broken tears, the desperate screaming, the shouting and the wailing. Instead, take joy from the sounds of our anguish at seeing ourselves and our daughters chained to the yoke of forced birth at all costs. It's what Jesus would do.

You know that you fight this battle for our own good. Heck. It probably hurts you more than it hurts us. I’m just sorry that we cannot say a proper ‘thank you’ to you today. I’m guessing we might be able to on November 4, 2014 though! Wow, I sure am looking forward to that.

Onwards and upwards into uteri across America!

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