From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
One Tough Cookie
Nelson Mandela turns 95 today. What an amazing man. What an amazing life.
In 1964---the year I was born---he famously said during the opening statement at his trial:
February, 1990
"During my lifetime I have dedicated myself to the struggle of the African people. I have fought against white domination, and I have fought against black domination. I have cherished the ideal of a democratic and free society in which all persons live together in harmony and with equal opportunities. It is an ideal which I hope to live for and to achieve. But if needs be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die."
He was sentenced to prison, where he spent the next 27 years, the experience of which later prompted him to say: "In my country we go to prison first and then become President."
In the wake of Malala Yousafzai's amazing speech at the United Nations last week, it seems appropriate to re-visit these words from Mandela:
"Education is the great engine of personal development. It is through education that the daughter of a peasant can become a doctor, that a son of a mineworker can become the head of the mine, that a child of farm workers can become the president of a great nation. It is what we make out of what we have, not what we are given, that separates one person from another."
Four years ago, Nobel Prize winner Dr. Muhammad Yunus, founder of the anti-poverty Grameen Bank, spoke at the seventh annual Mandela Lecture address in Johannesburg, during which he said:
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You have inspired us; you don’t know who we are, where we grew up, but you have touched our lives. As young people, we looked up to you: you stood tall and made us stand tall; you rejected prejudices and you inspired us to reject prejudices; you rejected hatred and you inspired us to reject hatred. You inspired us to love people, embrace peace; you inspired us to be brave, bold. You inspired us to be defiant. You inspired the whole world. ...
You lifted people from their insignificance. You gave people honour and dignity, irrespective of their race, colour or religion. You became the symbol of the human spirit. You became the symbol of how best a human being can be. You will remain an inspiration for all time.
Physically, Mandela isn’t doing so well these days (although he seems to be bouncing back from his recent health scare that had him on life support). Like all of us, he is a mere mortal. But considering the earth is over four billion years old, I'll always feel honored---no, more like gobsmacked---to know I've spent half of my life on the same speck in the universe at the same time as him…
…and to be able to wish him a very happy 95th birthday.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Thursday, July 18, 2013
Note: I want to make this absolutely clear, so there's no ambiguity: mud.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til
Mollyockett Days in Bethel, Maine:
2
Days 'til the
Newport Jazz Festival:
15
Percent of U.S. adults who say they feel happier than they expected to at this stage in their lives:
28%
Percent who say they're not as happy as they expected to be at this stage in their lives:
27%
(Source: Time poll)
Percent less likely drivers with caffeine in their system are to be in a crash:
63%
(Source:
Details)
Year in which the first Air Force One---which now sits in an Arizona field
decaying from neglect, dammit---began shuttling President Eisenhower around:
1953
Approximate cost to restore it:
$200,000
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Your Thursday Molly Ivins Moment:
I sacrificed an hour Friday evening to watch the Texas gubernatorial debate on your behalf, since I knew none of you would do it. Democrat Chris Bell looked and sounded like the only candidate who won't embarrass the state -- he was intelligent, well informed and even funny. But the question remains: Can Texas afford to lose that hair?
The Coiffure was in his usual form. As one opponent after another attacked his record, Gov. Rick Perry stood there proudly behind that 35 percent voter support he has so richly earned and simply disagreed. The Coiffure seemed to consider blanket denials a fully sufficient and adequate response.
---October, 2006
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Puppy Pic of the Day (via NonnyO): Puppy pillows!
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CHEERS to the most important story of the day. Today is National Caviar Day. I'm sure you're itching, as I am, to send the butler to the walk-in refrigerator to dip into your resplendent reservoir of roe. But before you do, make sure he's not gonna fuck it up:
Choose wisely. You know
the saying: "Caviar Emptor."
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Fine caviar should never be served with or stored in metal because of oxidation which can impart a metal flavour to the berries (yes, that what each little egg is properly called). Serve caviar very cold and nestled inside another bowl or container that holds ice to keep it fresh and cool. Choose servers made of glass, bone, wood or plastic. If you want to go by tradition, try mother-of-pearl or gold.
While it’s tempting to overdo it, try not to as eating more than two ounces or two spoons of caviar is considered a social faux pas.
And no matter what, fellow Kossacks, never,
ever spill any on your Manolo Blanhiks. They kick people out of the country club for less.
CHEERS to Doc Barack. If you're near a TV or a livestream this morning, the President will be promoting Obamacare and swatting away whiny Republican objections to it (they repealed it for the 38th and 39th time in the House yesterday, and your tax dollars pay for those numbnuts' salaries). This comes a day after some New Yorkers learned that, thanks to Obamacare, their premiums will be chopped off at the knees. (And if you've ever seen the bill for knee re-attachment, you know it costs an arm and a leg.) Obama's remarks will start promptly at 11:25. The tea party caucus's whining about tyranny and out-of-control communism will start promptly at 11:25:01.
CHEERS to getting down to the business of preventing funny business, monkey business and shady business. The most hated and feared man in the eyes of the Republican party and their corporate overlords---and, please, let's never forget what assholes they've been towards him for two whole years---was approved by the Senate this week. Veep Joe Biden swore in Richard Cordray as the Director of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau yesterday, and today Americans who get scammed have a crusader in their corner. By the way, this is his company car:
Alka Seltzer. In Scamville this morning, it's what's for breakfast.
CHEERS to Democrats with the right stuff. Happy 92nd Birthday to John Glenn (or, as Nelson Mandela calls him: "Sonny"), one of the most durable human beings who ever lived. Not only was he the first astronaut to orbit the planet, he later became the oldest person in space when he blasted off in the Shuttle Discovery at the age of 77. (And yet, as he admits, “There is still no cure for the common birthday.”) To commemorate Senator Glenn's birthday, WOSU in Columbus has produced a new film about his life that premiered last night and airs again tonight with a live producer chat. I don’t plan to have a whole lot etched on my Billystone after I die, but one thing you'll definitely read on it will be, "John Glenn Was My Freakin' Senator." Probably with an exclamation mark---or more if I can get a volume discount.
P.S. {{{{{Annie}}}}}
CHEERS to the Queen of Queens. Not sure what Henry VIII or Queen Victoria would think about this, but in Buckingham Palace yesterday Elizabeth II signed a document passed by Parliament and sent a message to gay couples in England and Wales who have waited a bloody long time for full marriage equality:
"Hellooooooooooo!!!!!!!!"
Tonight to celebrate: all-you-can-eat kippers buffet!!!
CHEERS to round things that rule our world. Even if you don't give a caddie's p'tootey about golf, chances are you'll take the occasional cursory look at the British Open leader board. The event starts today at the Muirfield course in---wild guess here---Britain:
The 12th green
at Muirfield.
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Muirfield [in Scotland] is widely regarded as one of the finest courses in the world. Renowned for its fairness and its challenging layout of two nines running clockwise and counter-clockwise, Muirfield is one of the great Open Championship venues. The pantheon of Muirfield champions is second to none: the likes of Harry Vardon, James Braid, Ted Ray, Walter Hagen, Henry Cotton, Gary Player, Jack Nicklaus, Lee Trevino, Tom Watson, Nick Faldo and Ernie Els have lifted the Claret Jug in East Lothian.
As usual, all my money is on Tom Watson to win the Claret Jug because he has five already and if he gets one more he can trade it in for---[
Thunderclap!!!!]---the
Chalice of Immortality!!! C&J had ambitions of turning pro once until we hit one little snag. If I remember correctly, the technical term is sucking at golf.
CHEERS to the chain of command. Sixty-six years ago today, in 1947, President Truman signed the Presidential Succession Act, which clearly establishes who takes over if the president, god forbid, dies or is incapacitated. Let's see:
4th in line.
Vice President Biden (He'd treat the office as a BFD!)
Speaker of the House John Boehner [Stunned, horrified silence]
President pro tempore of the Senate Patrick Leahy ("A cow in every garage and pure Vermont maple syrup in every pot!")
Sec. of State John Kerry (Oh, wouldn't that be sweet karma…)
Sec. of the Treasury Jack Lew [OOooOOoooOOoo]
Bert the House Janitor (He'd clean up the town.)
Sneezy (He'd be dwarfed by world events.)
After that they just start drawing names out of Congresswoman Virginia Foxx's girdle.
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Five years ago in C&J: July 18, 2008
CHEERS to a tiny toke of truth. An article in the latest issue of TIME suggests Americans are even more wild about weed than those damn dirty Dutch potheads in Dutchland. Not surprising to us, really. But nestled in the article was this little tidbit, slipped in matter-of-factly, as if it was common knowledge and oh-so-mundane:
Another factor may be an increasing awareness that marijuana may be less toxic than other drugs, such as tobacco or alcohol.
Translation: nothing to see here, please move along. But if we catch you with the less-toxic substance we'll put your neck in a vise and lock you up for life. (With time off if you can score the guards a few buds. And, like, could you get it by tonight? They're playing
Spin the Bottle.)
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And just one more…
CHEERS to the great gonzo. Man, there are a lot of big birthdays on July 18th, and here's one more: this would be the start of late "gonzo journalist" Hunter S. Thompson's 77th trip around the sun. You'll notice his tone is slightly different from Nelson Mandela's…
America... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable.
The only ones left with any confidence at all are the New Dumb. It is the beginning of the end of our world as we knew it. Doom is the operative ethic.
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Walk tall, kick ass, learn to speak Arabic, love music and never forget you come from a long line of truth seekers, lovers and warriors.
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All political power comes from the barrel of either guns, p*ssy, or opium pipes, and people seem to like it that way.
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It's a strange world. Some people get rich and others eat shit and die.
I guess that's my cue to start munching.
Have a nice Thursday. If you need to reach me, I'll be in the freezer between the popsicles and the pork chops. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
In its latest attempt to keep up with the times the Vatican has married one of its oldest traditions to the world of social media by offering "indulgences" to followers of Pope Francis's tweets. The church's granted indulgences reduce the time Catholics believe they will have to spend in Cheers and Jeers after they have confessed and been absolved of their sins.
---The Guardian
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