Let me begin this by saying that I have learned a few things along the way about parenting but that I don't consider myself an expert nor do I consider any one else an expert in parenting.
Whether one has one child or 34, there is still no way one can be deemed an expert at parenting. Every child is different and it takes different approaches for each child. That much I am certain of.
I bring this up because I just got back from the grocery store. The child in the grocery cart next to me screamed as loud as he could just as I got next to him, a piercing horrible sound that cut through me like a knife. I am bound to get some flack for my next observation but nevertheless, I am convinced that mothers do not hear those screeching sounds like a man does. But, even if I am wrong, it's still rude behavior and the child should be taught not to do it. Again, I am certain of that.
Instead the mother rewarded her child, immediately seizing on the moment to play "gitchy goo" with the child instead of explaining to him that there are others in the store and it is impolite to act that way.
My sister raised her children the exact same way. When my niece or nephew would misbehave, her and her husband would laugh about it. That is, they laughed about it when they were children but when they reached their teen years, it wasn't funny to them any more and they sought family counseling. Naturally, the therapist told them to stop rewarding bad behavior and to instead set some boundaries! And thankfully, it was not too late in their cases, they have seemed to rebound and have become nice young adults.
I have worked hard to give my son the guidance he has needed. To some degree, I simply cannot take too much credit. He has always been a very easy child to parent.
He's no saint, however. But, I have been inordinately lucky.
But, for heavens sake, it's not that hard to figure out that you should not reward bad behavior. It's really just so very basic. You should also not immediately defend your child without knowing the facts (as my sister in law does ALWAYS!). These two things are just basic common sense.
If you haven't done simple and basic parenting while they are children, God help you when they become teens.
On the way out of the grocery store, I dropped a dozen eggs at the register, something I never do. My nerves are shot. I'm trying real hard to keep my blood pressure under control. SHEEEEESH.