Today in E.W. Jackson news, we learn that E.W. Jackson speaks for fellow Republican ticketmate Ken Cuccinelli because
E.W. Jackson says so.
“I represent the entire ticket by the way. And we are a unified ticket and we are going to win in November.”
I suspect Jackson is using the royal
we here, as so far there have been precious few indications that his running mate wants anything to do with him. And that's saying something, because Ken Cuccinelli is pretty much the living embodiment of the American Taliban (he's for
jailing adulterers, which may be the most Talibanesue thing yet and which sounds like a really, really bad idea until you realize that Newt Gingrich would probably have found himself spending some time in the pokey under that rule and well now, that sort of makes it more tempting, doesn't it? We'll have to ask Mark Sanford his thoughts on that one as well—hell, we should be convening a conservative round table on one of the Sunday shows to discuss it. Let's see if even the Republican Party thinks electing Ken Cuccinelli to higher office is something they can stomach with a straight face).
Back to E.W. Jackson, we also learned this week that E.W. Jackson does not think highly of his state's education system, primarily because of the education part. He and fellow conservatives are put out that Virginia puts all that tax money into gubbermint-run ejucation and not enough into good old fashioned conservative madrassas. Well, into homeschooling, actually, but it's clear that the homeschooling in this case is meant to instill "values" that the gubbermint schools aren't teaching, like why you should support jailing people for adultery and how everybody is just gimme gimme gimme all the time.
[World's greatest conservative E.W. Jackson]: It's going to take a Constitutional amendment, that's what I'm going to be working for, I promised people I would work for that, it's going to require a lot of grassroots help and I think we can get it done. And you are so right, I think homeschooling still faces a lot of barriers, I think we've got to make sure that a homeschooling family is like any other family that decide to send their children to private school, Christian school, whatever it is, that that homeschooling family gets the resources that would otherwise be spent in a government school.
[Remarkably whiny conservative radio host]: You know it bothers me that I have to pay for this indoctrination that goes on in Charlottesville and many of the other government schools, and we're basically teaching kids to distain this country and be dependent on government, that's how they're graduating, I say as their mouths are open, their hands are out, that's how they graduate from high school and this needs to change. And I think educational competition is what's going to solve this problem.
[E.W.W.]: Education, not indoctrination—and the indoctrination that happens in many government schools—and I know there are many fine teachers out there, my wife is one of them—
[Sad radio guy]: Absolutely, and my wife too!
[E.W.W.W.]: But there's a system, frankly, that is moving further and further away from the classic values of our country, and we've got to give people the opportunity to say that's the kind of education you want for your child, okay, but I don't and so I'm going to make a different choice. And I think that's what freedom is all about. That's what liberty is.
Someone, somewhere, may eventually point out that demanding a constitutional amendment to give you free taxpayer money so that you can teach children that everybody but you is a hopeless, lazy mooch is, well, hilarious. But that will not be today, and it will not be anyone that E.W. Jackson ever willingly comes into contact with.
Top that, Cuccinelli. C'mon. You know you want to.